samsungxoxo Posted June 19, 2006 Posted June 19, 2006 I was more shock when I read a post on a woman's case about catching her husband in bed but not with another woman, but with a man. I can't imagine how would that sceneria be, finding out how partner cheating on you with a memeber of the same sex!!!!!!!!!!! Jikes!!!!!!!!
Tim'sAngel Posted June 19, 2006 Posted June 19, 2006 It happens. I knew a women whos hubby admitted he was gay after 10 years of marriage and 2 adopted daughters. I blame it on people who do not take the time to figure out their sexuality and taking the risk of hurting the one who desperately loves you.
Outcast Posted June 20, 2006 Posted June 20, 2006 In a society that still gives gay people a horrible time, can you blame someone who might think he's gay for trying to deny it even to himself?
stillhere Posted June 20, 2006 Posted June 20, 2006 Hey, i know a man who is gay, and he is still married to his W, but they live in different states. Their children are grown, and he has not told his family. His children know (they figured it out on their own) but i'm not sure his W knows. If she does, she hasn't told anyone. The situation seems to be working for all of them. I can see his fear in not wanting to come out, society can be pretty cruel, even now. I don't blame him. If i was in his situation, i would be doing the exact same thing. I don't totally agree with the "lying" but i can understand it. That would be one hell of a shock though, to come home and find your SO in bed with a person of the same sex.
Chump64 Posted June 20, 2006 Posted June 20, 2006 In some freakish way, this would be easier than your husband cheating on you with another woman. Just my opinion though. At least if he cheats with another man, you KNOW the man had something you didn't have and simply couldn't have or offer. When it's another woman, you have all the same basic parts and moves, but you start to feel insecure and wonder why yours weren't good enough. I'm not sure our marriage could survive the male-male action though, b/c I'd always wonder if he was truly homosexual and needed to be with a man vs. me. I think the one thing I could not survive would be if my husband and his OW had a child together. Deal breaker. Couldn't get past it.
Tim'sAngel Posted June 20, 2006 Posted June 20, 2006 I don't realy see where you guys are coming from. I see the exact opposite actually. It seems I can't turn around without seeing someone or something pushing gay rights in your face. I think it is moreso coming out to your family, not society. Society is very excepting of the gay culture, but most families are not.
Chump64 Posted June 20, 2006 Posted June 20, 2006 I totally disagree that society is accepting of homosexuals, overall. Bush won the last election because he and his handlers completely freaked many voters out re: the issue of gay rights and gay marriage. People were more scared and worried about two men kissing and screwing than they were about starting a bogus war in Iraq. And it's not just families who are anti-gay. I live in a very liberal area and I don't see gay rights being pushed in my face at all, so maybe you have a predisposed bias and you look for that kind of thing because it bugs you?
RecordProducer Posted June 20, 2006 Posted June 20, 2006 If I were lesbian, I would come out about it. I think the disgust that existed is not present anymore. People are now brain-washed in the other direction (thank god!) and don't want to show that they discriminate anyone because of their sexual preferences. I personally am bi-curious so I don't have to come out about it (it's only about sex so it's like telling people that I'd like to try a threesome - none of their business), but I'd never hide it if I had the opportunity to express myself. I don't deny it in any case, as in "eewww, women, yuck!" We still find anything related to sex very amusing. My husband's cousin is gay and every time my husband mentions him, he says: "My cousin who is gay..." I told him once: "OK, now can you talk about him as your cousin who lives in Boston instead of a cousin who's gay?" And my husband is very understanding, he even said once: "If someone forced me to love men, I couldn't; so why can't people understand that you can't force gay people to love the opposite sex?" So what I am saying is: since people find everything about sex very entertaining, gay people are interesting to us. Luckily the situation is not like before where they felt they had to be ashamed or hide who they were. I am very happy that times are changing! Unfortunately not in some redneck states like Colorado where being gay is illegal! I would feel awful to find my husband in bed with a woman. Not so awful to find him in bed with a man - we'd separate in a friendly way. I am not a man and if he neeeds a man, I'd understand that it's not me. I happen to know that my husband is not gay at all though.
RecordProducer Posted June 20, 2006 Posted June 20, 2006 Colorado is a redneck state?Any state where being gay is illegal is redneck!
sylviaguardian Posted June 20, 2006 Posted June 20, 2006 I think it's easy to say that one thing would be easier than another but I think it's not that simple. Just the fact that the person you love and trust shows themselves to be untrustworty and deceitful is the hurtful thing. Also, there's the feeling of realising that you didn't know the person you were marrried to and doubting your own judgement - that would be worse if they turned out to be gay. After all, you might start to wonder if they had been thinking about other men when sleeping with you, or if they found it boring or even disgusting.
Tim'sAngel Posted June 20, 2006 Posted June 20, 2006 I totally disagree that society is accepting of homosexuals, overall. Bush won the last election because he and his handlers completely freaked many voters out re: the issue of gay rights and gay marriage. People were more scared and worried about two men kissing and screwing than they were about starting a bogus war in Iraq. And it's not just families who are anti-gay. Hmm, maybe its just a difference of where we live. Actually the way I see it, they picked a really bad time to start the fight to legalize the gay marriage thing. I mean come on people!! We were in war!! Couldn't that have waited for a later date? Jeez!!! I live in a very liberal area and I don't see gay rights being pushed in my face at all, so maybe you have a predisposed bias and you look for that kind of thing because it bugs you? Nothing bugs me except when people get their priorities mixed up. Now that bugs the freakin hell out of me!! I can't remember how many times I'd be watching the TV hoping to see more about the news of the war in Irap only to see gay and lesbian protesters and some bulls*** about the whole thing. I have nothing against gays/lesbians. I just think people were puting the emphesis on the wrong thing.
Tim'sAngel Posted June 20, 2006 Posted June 20, 2006 I am very happy that times are changing! Unfortunately not in some redneck states like Colorado where being gay is illegal! It is?? I didn't know being gay could be illegal.
LucreziaBorgia Posted June 20, 2006 Posted June 20, 2006 It is?? I didn't know being gay could be illegal. Being gay isn't illegal in my state, but any type of gay sex is. Heck, pretty much anything that isn't missionary position between a married couple (including even oral sex hetero- or homosexual, married or not) is considered illegal in my state. So is cohabitation. The laws are quaint and you don't see them enforced though and there is talk of having some of them repealed.
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