Guinevere04 Posted June 19, 2006 Posted June 19, 2006 I'm sick of the lies. I am sick of wondering when he is telling the truth and when he is covering up something. My EX boyfriend is a habitual liar. We have been together alomst two years but I am sick and tired of being sick and tired. He said that he only lies about things that dont matter, things that wont hurt people. Any lie hurts me when I trust you. Alot of the things that he lies about are just stupid, like if he left work for lunch or stayed in. He says its just easier to say stayed in rather than explaining that he drove to McD's. I just think its immaturity. I am 32 and he is 26. Anyway, we break up about once a month and 9/10 times its something he has done or his bad attitude. But I am serious this time. I swear. I have horrible nightmares about him cheating on me and it just not worth it. When we were broken up one time, he told me that he had cheated. Then when he wanted me back, he said that he had lied and hadnt cheated, he just wanted to hurt me. I always believed that he had cheated but just regretted telling me, so he LIED, shocker. So I had given him one last chance and he promised to tell be the truth about everything. He always kept so much from me and it hurt my feelings, so he said he would tell me every little thing until I gained some trust and respect back for him. So while I am at home with strep throat, he goes to his friends lake house and said that he stayed at home. When I found out, I asked him and he lied at first, then he admitted it but said he was alone. he had gotten the key so that he and I could go this past weekend. i dont believe for one minute that he went alone. I really dont want to be with him but he is calling me and texting me that he wants me to give him another chance because he needs me, he is miserable without me and I am all that he has. Those are not very good reasons for me. I think he is just afraid of being alone, but that is HIS problem, not mine. I deserve to be treated better than being lied to and always having to worry. But when I tell him that, he doesnt listen, he is too worried about being alone. How can I stand up to him and not fall into the guilt trap. He has done this to himself!!!! He will send one message saying that he will leave me alone and he knows he screwed this all up, then the next message says he is dying without me. I dont respond at all. But the last time we broke up, I tried no contact and he ended up kicking my door down and I called the police on him. I should have never given him another chance after that. I am not all that he has, but it makes me feel terrible when he says things like that. Can anyone give me any advice at all? No contact on my part is pretty easy, I have nothing to say that I havent already said 20 times to him, but he just keeps trying to guilt me and say he will change.
LN8840K Posted June 19, 2006 Posted June 19, 2006 I have noticed that when someone wants to talk to you, it's easy to get a hold of them and the opposite when they don't. say what you will
SoleMate Posted June 19, 2006 Posted June 19, 2006 Your reasons for the breakup are good ones. You are correct that your decision to end this relationship needs to be based on YOUR concerns, not his. Let's tally up the pros and cons. CON * Chronic liar * Lies about small things and big things (like cheating) * Either cheated or deliberately hurt you by claiming he did * Violent * Breaks promises even when the stakes are high * Life with him is unhappy because of his behavior PRO * ? (you didn't mention anything) You're already being very clear headed and tough, so just take it one step farther and go TOTAL NC. That means rejection of all attempts at communication whatsoever. You will not find yourself feeling guilty if you don't have to listen to it. Since he has shown violence in the past, please make sure you have a safety plan and stay alert to your surroundings. It might be helpful just to make a non-emergency call to the police right now and see if they have any advice for you. In your shoes, I would send a registered letter to his address telling him not to contact you again, in any way, other than through your attorney or another third party. Good luck, and congratulations on moving on in a good way.
Author Guinevere04 Posted June 19, 2006 Author Posted June 19, 2006 There were some good qualities for sure. He was gorgeous and very kind when he wasnt lying. I have a 4 year old son and he treated him like his own. We had a lot of fun together but he just hid so much from me. He didnt tell me that he had a son for 8 months!!
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