NightsInWhiteSatin Posted June 19, 2006 Posted June 19, 2006 I wasn't so sure whether to post on here about this...everything seems to have been going well for me and i didn't want to let him get to me....but he obviously has... Here's a brief history - Together 9 months. both first time in love. His life was just work constantly never had time or energy for me. I got upset alot. He got upset alot. I pulled away from him. He dumped me. We got back together. Then he dumped me again a week later. For 3 weeks afterwards we communicated over msn...he was still acting like we were together. He'd cry so would i. He'd phone me and text me saying how he missed me and loved me etc looks at my pics all the time etc etc. Kept sayin we might be back together in a few weeks...then it went to a few months....then a few years...then i saw he was just trying to keep me dangling there for when he wanted me inbetween his work and his friends....it messed up my head...told him we should go our seperate ways for a few months and not to contact eachother and i'd contact him once ive moved. So...the first 2 weeks were hard...but after that it was like BANG! I was back....it was me again...happy me....no longer upset coz he'd done this or he'd done that and i wasn't having to live his life anymore and i could have my own life and do things for me. About just over a month of not talking, he contacts my best friend over msn....asking about me....but not accepting the answers he was being given : ex - hows kim doing? my best mate - she's doing great, new job etc she's really happy ex - oh great thats really good my best mate - yeah i'm really proud of her, she's moved on and is getting on with things it's good to see her happy ex - yeah it is, so how is she? my best mate - just told you, she's moved on, she's happy new job etc ex - yeah sure. Then he'd go and say things to her like this (btw i'm kim if your wonderin lol) - ex - so what are you up to tonight? my best mate - im going round to see kim later ex - tell her i said hi....and that i miss her everyday...but you dont have to tell her that last bit...i dont want to hurt her my best mate - why would it hurt her if i told her that? ex - i never want to hurt her ever again mate my best mate - i know ex - I think about her everyday, so many things remind me of her especially driving down to *suchaplace* and poems and lyrics and things *embarrased* my best mate - i thought you would have moved on by now? ex - i have mate THEN...FOR TWO WEEKS STRAIGHT!!! This is what i get - *he texts me *mails me *mithers my friends about me *leaves me messages on my profile *harasses everyone to find out about what im gettin up to for fun *unblocks me on msn which we had agreed to block eachother *asks me to go to his gig through one of his mates *records a love song i wrote for him and puts it on the internet so i could hear it and when i went to access the lyrics it came up 'It only matters that one person has these....' *His profile still has me as his girlfriend on it....pictures of me and him with 'i love ya kim' written under them....and he goes on it every other day but hasn't changed a thing *He tries having conversations with me through his friends on msn *I get annoymus phone calls...which i never answer but im guessing theyre from him coz nobody except my best mate and him ever contact me through my mobile...and its not my best mate. * He'd asked his mates to persuade me to unblock him etc It was like harrassment...i refused to go near my computer or carry my mobile with me....by the end of 2 weeks....i wanted to scream and cry....told my best mate i didnt know what was going on with him and why he was doing this after we agreed on no contact. She went online....he started mithering her as usual....asking her again and again how's kim....never accepting the answer she gave him that im doing well. She lost her temper and said that he has to stop this and leave me alone and that i'll contact him in a few months otherwise people are going to get upset. Then he started coming out with things like he's not doing so well etc and none of his friends know coz he hides it behind humor etc and then he said he just wants to talk to me and see how i am and she got mad and said - ive told you a million times over these past two weeks shes happy shes doing well shes moved on new job new friends etc and he snapped at her and said 'yeah whatever' and she said what do you want me to do? lie to you? and he replied - im doin 'great' too so 'happy', im going see you later. What was that all about???????????????? What is this all about?????????? He didn't want me...he dumped me....he didnt want to be with me anymore. What's with all this? Since then....i unblocked him by accident then reblocked him but he thinks ive unblocked him for good apparently...and has changed his screen name to the link to the love song on the net he's recorded that i wrote for him. I've been doing so well...been so happy gettin on with things etc....then it all got to me and last night i cried....really really cried...and now ive given in guys...i need some help and advise on how to cope with this uprising situation.....he's looking for an invite to my best mates leaving party...i think he might show up without an invite coz his other mates are going... I wish he'd leave me alone....he's hurt me enough as it is already His phone line has been down these past few days so he has no internet access which is great....the weekend has been bliss...but ive got a feeling it wont stay that way knowin him and his ego
Poboy Posted June 19, 2006 Posted June 19, 2006 Well it looks like he has been around for a really long time in your life and you never got the oppurtunity to move on . The best thing you can do is talk to him and tell him that you are no longer intrested in keeping in touch with him and that he should leave you and your friends alone and try not to contact her . You have already suffered a lot emotionally and if you really want to move on , you need to remove him from your life totally. There will be times when you will feel weak and cry over it but thats ok , its healthy to cry sometimes but the longer you stay in touch with him , it will be that much difficult. Try to forget him and over time , im sure will you succeed
Author NightsInWhiteSatin Posted June 19, 2006 Author Posted June 19, 2006 thankyou Poboy, truth of the matter is, i have moved on...there is someone else im interested in...it's just with him being everywhere i turn throwing the past at me to get a reaction...it hurts because i know he's only doing it because his ego can't believe ive moved on....and after everythings he's done to me and he knows what i've been through i thought he'd have the respect and heart not to try to f**k around with my emotions. Guess he never really did love me if he's capable of that. We agreed not to contact eachother for several months, then i said id get in touch....because he wants us to be friends....and up till now ive been willing to give friendship a go...but he's broke my wishes by contacting me like this....and it's not just that he's dragging up the past relationship...the things ive bought him....the love song i wrote for him....etc and i'm beginning to think if we ever did become friends that at some point he'd try it on just to see if i am actually over him.
Poboy Posted June 19, 2006 Posted June 19, 2006 well as long as you keep him in your life , he will be around for sure. Do you want him to be apart of your life as a friend ? Is he worth what he has done all this while to keep around ? If no , then politely ask him to stay away . If he doesnt listen , then avoid him totally . As you said , you are intrested in someone else , so you are moving on but u need to move on mentally too by removing him from your thoughts and the past. Learn from this relationship and look ahead to the bright future , there will be great guys you will meet and get into than him , no guy / friend is worth all this emotional trouble
Author NightsInWhiteSatin Posted June 19, 2006 Author Posted June 19, 2006 awww, you're so lovely poboy thankyou xx
Pantero Posted June 20, 2006 Posted June 20, 2006 Your ex needs to stop flapping his pecker in the wind like a little boy, grow a pair of balls, and become a man. He's a goddamn psycho. What he's doing with all the online stuff is harassment and stalking. I don't know how the laws work where you are, but if he shows up to your house, work, or even your friend's house - call the cops and get a restraining order before he totally loses it and does something "out of character".
Author NightsInWhiteSatin Posted June 20, 2006 Author Posted June 20, 2006 haha, I doubt he'd go that far hehe... Anyway it's not like he's trying to get me back....he didn't want me anymore remember and he wouldn't want to lower his ego by putting himself out there! lol....and you're right....he is a child...a 26yr old with the maturity of a 16 yr old...most the time i felt older than him and i'm only 19!...eee by gum!
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