lovestruck234 Posted June 19, 2006 Posted June 19, 2006 Hi everyone, I'm new here and this is my first thread so bare with me if I babble on a bit... Ok, so here's the situation. I have been with my bf for just over 6 months and I am deeply in SERIOUS LOVE WITH HIM. I didn't think I would know what love would feel like until I met Rhys. Rhys and me are like peas and carrots... anyway, you get the point how OBSESSED I am with him. So I met Rhys and his family when me and my family moved down to our current residence. As he lives just up the road...anyway my sister, Carly, became really good friends with Rhys' family and extremely good friends with Rhys. So good infact that they ended up getting together. I live on a farm and so does Rhys and him and Carly both love horse riding and had lots of common interests so they got on really well. Anyway, I'm not sure exactly why they split up, but they did. On mutual terms, I think. So all the while Carly was hanging out with Rhys, I never was really close to him and his family so it didn't phase me in the least. Until about 8 months ago. Rhys and I started hanging out HEAPS. We did everything together. Although I still knew him and talked to him a fair bit before this, mind you. Motorbike riding, driving his paddock basher, EVERYTHING!! We became really close and really good friends. And I started to like him, alot. And I had a bit of a rough idea he had it in for me too. Anyway, to cut a long story short, we ended up getting together. And we were both never happier. But now that were together, I get so protective of him. I constantly worry that something better is going to come along and snatch him! I trust him, don't get me wrong, I just get jealous, I think. And the reason I told all that about Carly is, whenever him and Carly hang out, I get SOOOOOOOOOOO angry!!! I still worry that he's going to get back with her and I feel like I intruded in there relationship... He tells me he wouldn't be with me if he wanted to be with someone else, which is reassuring, and that he loves me, no-one else, but I just can't help WORRYING SO MUCH!! I don't want to worry, and I want to be comfortable about it all, but I just can't help it...why??? Mum told me that with her and dad it took ages for them to win eachothers trust and not get jealous, do you think that's the problem, do you think we just need time to really get comfy with eachother?? I need anyone's help out there, cos I'm worrying myself sick!!!! Thanks!!
stillhere Posted June 19, 2006 Posted June 19, 2006 Sweetie, first of all, how old are you? Jealousy is a very common thing in relationships. It is so very normal. The only problem is to not let it consume you. You have to trust the other person, or you'll spend every waking minute worrying about what they are doing, who they are talking to, and it will drive them away. In a new relationship, in the beginning, it will be cute because it shows that they care about you, but later on down the road, it will get sickening, because they can't trust you. My advice, put trust in him, until he gives you a reason not to. If he loves you and respects you, you will be the only girl he has eyes for. If this is your first true love, you may get your heart broken eventually. Not many of us end up with our first true loves. It's just a lesson in life, and you will learn and grow from it. I was devastated when my first true love left me, but now i can look back and think "my god, i'm glad i didn't end up with him for the rest of my life". You may get your heart broken more times than you count, but you will soon realize that you are strong, and you can deal with it.
Author lovestruck234 Posted June 19, 2006 Author Posted June 19, 2006 I'm 16...but I'm not one of those immature 16 yr olds!!! I have a brain between my ears!! I guess in time I will learn to trust him. He's has the same sort of doubts in me as well, I know. He's just as bad as me. When I get a message on my phone I can tell the look on his face like he's busting to know who it is, but he never asks. And he gets really funny when I say I'm going somewhere away from him for a while or whatever the case may be. So I guess we're just as bad as each other. He always brings up "Why are you with someone like me?? You could have any guy you want blah blah blah" We end up arguing over it but we compromise and get over it. It's just I still have that annoying little buzz in the back of my head reminding me constantly that I'm not too sure... I think I do trust him I just don't trust other girls. Girls can be very seductive, I'm aware of that. And he hasn't had THAT much experience with girls. I'm his first proper gf, apart from Carly but that lasted about 2 weeks. I know this all seems really trivial. I just want someone to guarantee me that he'll stay by me as long as it lasts, but I know that's impossible. I'm just the type of person that needs constant reassurance in a relationship. I guess past experiences have made me really clingy and obsessive. I'm aware of how I am, I just wish, oh, I don't know.... I know you'll probably think "no, no it WILL happen, you'll break up ONE day" but I really do think that he's the guy that I'll last the full length with, or atleast, a REALLY long time... Anyway, thank you for your advice!! Hope to hear back from you soon!!
Guest Posted June 19, 2006 Posted June 19, 2006 Trust him as much as you can. There's nothing that sucks more then when your partner can't trust you at all. It's normal to worry, and when you really like someone it's normal to worry a lot. But trust him, 'cos it seems like he trusts you. If he's with you then you're the person he wants to be with, not that other girl. -xx
Author lovestruck234 Posted June 19, 2006 Author Posted June 19, 2006 Thanks for the advice! So last night we were hanging out and I just brought up briefly a few things... Ok so here's how the convo kinda went... Me: "Rhys, do you like spending as much time with me as you do?" Rhys: "Of course I do, I wouldn't be here right now if I didn't...why?" Me: "No reason, just wondering....cos I love hanging out with you" Rhys: "I know you do, I love hanging out with you too...Tess, why are you bringing all this up?" Me: "I just want to make sure that your happy with me and you're not considering....well, looking at anyone else...." Rhys: "Tess!!! We've had this conversation a thousand times, I LOVE YOU!! I AM IN LOVE WITH YOU!! I don't want anyone else, I lucky enough to have YOU, let alone some other girl, please don't forget that. I love you for you, I went for Tess, not some other girl. You are the one for me, ok????" Tess: "Hmmm..." Rhys: "O-KAY???" Tess: "Ok, ok. I love you too...I don't ever wanna break up with you either k?" Rhys: "Tess, don't even think of that...and if you want the honest truth, Im not like other blokes, you know that...and one day, I'm going to marry you, cos I've fallen waaay too deep now to turn back..." Tess: "..................me too" Then I cried and we were all happy again. Lol, I know all it sounds like is love-sick teenagers but I think this feeling isn't going to wear off any time soon... So for now, we're all A-OK, let's hope it stays like that!! Thanks again to you both for your advice! If anyone else has something to say about it, please contirbute! I'd love to have as much feedback as I can! Toodles for now!
stillhere Posted June 20, 2006 Posted June 20, 2006 You have a long life ahead of you........i'm glad you found someone you could be so comfortable with and someone who loves you for you. I wish you all the best, but like i said.............put some trust in him and let him be him. Yeah, other girls can try and catch his eye, but you can't take someone who only has eyes for someone else (the person they love). If it doesn't work out between you two (and i hope it does), there are many more fish in the pond.
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