clamchowderz Posted June 19, 2006 Posted June 19, 2006 i asked my ex through an AIM conversation why it was so hard for her to talk to me. she replied, "im scared and confused" what the hell does that mean?
BrandonBP Posted June 19, 2006 Posted June 19, 2006 "im scared and confused" what the hell does that mean? That's not a reason. That's a copout so that she doesn't have to tell you what's really going on.
KittenMoon Posted June 19, 2006 Posted June 19, 2006 i asked my ex through an AIM conversation why it was so hard for her to talk to me. she replied, "im scared and confused" what the hell does that mean? If your emotions are running very high, it can be hard, or even impossible to articulate how you really feel, if you even know. (And this is regardless of whether you're the dumper or dumpee)
StussyMagnet Posted June 19, 2006 Posted June 19, 2006 I'm with Brandon on this one. That's nearly as vague as 'It's not you, it's me...'
Poboy Posted June 19, 2006 Posted June 19, 2006 i asked my ex through an AIM conversation why it was so hard for her to talk to me. she replied, "im scared and confused" what the hell does that mean? it can mean so many things , you would have tell us if she is involved with someone else or not and what is your relationship with her as of now ... friends or just in touch .
RealBroken Posted June 19, 2006 Posted June 19, 2006 How long have they been your ex? I dont think theyre over you. Play it cool. Dont push, wait ok.
LucreziaBorgia Posted June 19, 2006 Posted June 19, 2006 "im scared and confused" what the hell does that mean? "I'm scared (to tell you things that will definitely hurt you) and confused (about why it is I can't just be truthful with you).
rkman Posted June 19, 2006 Posted June 19, 2006 "I'm scared (to tell you things that will definitely hurt you) and confused (about why it is I can't just be truthful with you). My understanding is that it's pretty straight forward. I'm scared - I'm being selfish and I'm gonna get hurt. I'm confused - I have no clue who I am or what I want. Very similarily to as some have a midlife crisis, a girl goes through what I like to call a young life crisis. I say young life because, in general, it occurs between 18-25, in some cases a little later in their 20's. It's a point just before they are ready to settle down and accept that life has real responsibilities which need to be addressed (i.e. a house, kids, commitment) and feel that they have to fit in their entire youth into a small period of time before they are prepared to do this. They are scared because they know they are going to completely regret what they are doing, and they are confused because they don't understand why they can't just enjoy what it is they have. Basically, it's a huge stage in their maturity growth model.
KittenMoon Posted June 19, 2006 Posted June 19, 2006 My understanding is that it's pretty straight forward. I'm scared - I'm being selfish and I'm gonna get hurt. I'm confused - I have no clue who I am or what I want. Very similarily to as some have a midlife crisis, a girl goes through what I like to call a young life crisis. I say young life because, in general, it occurs between 18-25, in some cases a little later in their 20's. It's a point just before they are ready to settle down and accept that life has real responsibilities which need to be addressed (i.e. a house, kids, commitment) and feel that they have to fit in their entire youth into a small period of time before they are prepared to do this. They are scared because they know they are going to completely regret what they are doing, and they are confused because they don't understand why they can't just enjoy what it is they have. Basically, it's a huge stage in their maturity growth model. BOTH sexes do this. I'm pretty sure my ex is going through this right now, it's quite possible I am as well, and it definitely played a part in our break-up. It totally sucks, and I wish it had gotten over with earlier.
rkman Posted June 19, 2006 Posted June 19, 2006 BOTH sexes do this. I'm pretty sure my ex is going through this right now, it's quite possible I am as well, and it definitely played a part in our break-up. It totally sucks, and I wish it had gotten over with earlier. Very true Sorry to come off as supporting one side over the other. I will say though that the young guys who do this are generally selfish prior and are stuck in their teenage years, while from my observations the girls find themselves suddenly thrown into a sandpit which is very difficult to escape. The point is simple. Dating someone before they have grown up carries an extremely high personal risk to both parties. Sometimes things are meant to be, but timing is key. Either way, there aren't many mistakes in life, just a lot of hard learned lessons. Just because someone comes back saying they have grown up, doesn't mean they are finished. We grow up our entire lives, but you have to be sure you and your chosen partner are on the same wavelength in interpersonal goals (ie family, firends, future, children, residence). I wouldn't take someone back once they decided to leave until they have dated other people and truely experienced the good the bad and the ugly.
KittenMoon Posted June 19, 2006 Posted June 19, 2006 We grow up our entire lives, but you have to be sure you and your chosen partner are on the same wavelength in interpersonal goals (ie family, firends, future, children, residence). I think this is actually the basis for all lasting relationships- growing up with someone at the same pace, with the same eventual goals.
Recommended Posts