horsekiss Posted June 18, 2006 Posted June 18, 2006 I KNOW this is a fully loaded question depends on the length of time and the intensity and reasons of breakup but just curious in general ----read in a book of relationship advice they said for every year you have been with someone it takes 3 months - to heal i am sure some people never really get over it! i was in 8 year relationship and am on the 3rd month of nc and i dont think i am close to feeling ok yet any strategies on how to quicken up this damn healing process! uggggggg not ready to date anyone -cant even look at another guy just yet guess it will take however long it takes........
heartnsoul Posted June 18, 2006 Posted June 18, 2006 any strategies on how to quicken up this damn healing process! uggggggg not ready to date anyone -cant even look at another guy just yet guess it will take however long it takes........ That's it ... it will take however long it takes. I don't believe there's any real 'formula' for how long it takes. It's circumstantial and will vary depending on each individuals 'processing' ability. I have to add also that the more you try to fight your feelings of loss the stronger I think they'll become. Suppression probably isn't the best route to take. In short ... feel it, be it, embrace it, and in time the pain will lessen. To help you along ... excellent words of inspiration
Author horsekiss Posted June 18, 2006 Author Posted June 18, 2006 thanks! heartnsoul for that link-with the inspirational quote i read it over and over just printed it out to tuck into my wallet-and read when i buckle with weakness how true those words are they hurt but they are so true thankyou hk
dr strangelove Posted June 19, 2006 Posted June 19, 2006 Hey Man I had a one year relationship and almost 2 years later Im still not over it. Ive even been involved with someone during that duration. I guess in time it fades, or you meet someone else and if sparks go off who cares about the ex. Its a really empty time... you feel not very anchored. Drifting.
Diver012 Posted June 19, 2006 Posted June 19, 2006 Hey Man I had a one year relationship and almost 2 years later Im still not over it. Ive even been involved with someone during that duration. I guess in time it fades, or you meet someone else and if sparks go off who cares about the ex. Its a really empty time... you feel not very anchored. Drifting. I can relate to that. The girl I was with was the first after a 3.5 year break for me. Long story short... left a girl I didnt want to leave... moved to a strange town I didnt want to go to... it messed up my personal life severely. Im still feeling the after shocks of that. Im worried ill get into the same trap that I was before. I dated this woman for 6 months, now im single again, I dont know hardly anyone... Her friends became my friends..ect.. I feel so isolated. Im hoping the recovery doesnt last longer than the relationship did.. we shall see
timidity99 Posted June 19, 2006 Posted June 19, 2006 I think the time frame really depends on how long you guys were dating. The longer you dated the longer it will take to get over them. You can't expect yourself or anyone else for that matter to get over a 3 year relationship in just 3 weeks time.
In Sync Posted June 19, 2006 Posted June 19, 2006 I KNOW this is a fully loaded question depends on the length of time and the intensity and reasons of breakup but just curious in general ----read in a book of relationship advice they said for every year you have been with someone it takes 3 months - to heal i am sure some people never really get over it! i was in 8 year relationship and am on the 3rd month of nc and i dont think i am close to feeling ok yet any strategies on how to quicken up this damn healing process! uggggggg not ready to date anyone -cant even look at another guy just yet guess it will take however long it takes........ There's no absolute determining factor in the recovery process. So many things determine how well one recovers from a breakup...Most importantly is one's identity with the relationship. A person can still struggle over a loss of a relationship for years even it it lasted 1 month! And another can quickly get over one after being together for 10 years.. There are things you can do to alleviate the anxiety (like focusing on my goals and new interests that keep me fit and creative) BUT until your mind and heart are in synchronicity, it can't be rushed.... Actually from my experience it's turned out to be a good thing. YES breakups hurt, but using the time to reflect and evolve into a better person ..wiser and stronger and it made me see had I stayed in it any longer, I would not have grown in new areas of my life.
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