ggoerl Posted June 18, 2006 Posted June 18, 2006 Well me and my gf havnt been doing so well the past few days, she finally told me the other night something was wrong and just wants to be able to talk to me face to face without getting paranoid and that she gets sick of relaying messages between our one friend back and forth and I tried telling her that I will not get paranoid but she still thinks I will. I ended up talking to a friend also and she ended telling my gf well now my gf wants to have a talk, what I can say to make things better?
whichwayisup Posted June 18, 2006 Posted June 18, 2006 Just listen to her...As hard as it may be to just sit and listen, it's something you have to do. Don't react, don't feel paranoid. Also, this is between you and your girlfriend, don't involve other people in your private life that will 'be' the 'gobetween' for you and your girlfriend. That will just blowup in your faces.
Guitar Wizard Posted June 18, 2006 Posted June 18, 2006 Well me and my gf havnt been doing so well the past few days, she finally told me the other night something was wrong and just wants to be able to talk to me face to face without getting paranoid and that she gets sick of relaying messages between our one friend back and forth and I tried telling her that I will not get paranoid but she still thinks I will. I ended up talking to a friend also and she ended telling my gf well now my gf wants to have a talk, what I can say to make things better? Well, in some cases, there is no magic "Thing you can say" to get rid of all the bad things going on. It takes time. But, your best bet is to look in your heart, ask yourself how you feel about her, and when your heart tells you, tell her exactly what your heart feels. And, whatever it is will guide you. I know that's a little tacky in todays world, but Im still a firm believer in the "Listen to your heart" way of life.
ggoerl Posted June 18, 2006 Posted June 18, 2006 well last night it got a little worse i said the wrong thing. we were texting and then thats when she mentioned when she wanted to talk about this whole situation, i texted her back I was like ok, well should I be worried? wanting to know if this was going to be a bad or good takl. Well theres something not say she sent me back a text saying well i want to tell you how u r supposed to feel. I just wanna talk f***. well that just seems like it made things worse by my worrying.
whichwayisup Posted June 18, 2006 Posted June 18, 2006 You two should really be talking on the phone more than text messaging eachother. This is part of the reason why you're feeling odd about it because you can't hear her voice, her intent on whether it's a good talk or a bad talk...Leaves you sitting there feeling uncomfortable and saying something wrong because words can jump off the page a certain way and be taken the wrong way.
ggoerl Posted June 18, 2006 Posted June 18, 2006 yea I have mentioned that to her before how its hard to tell how a person is feeling and how it comes off as being mad or what not.
ggoerl Posted June 18, 2006 Posted June 18, 2006 so how should I handle this when we talk? I dont wanna turn it into more of a big deal than it already is now.
Guitar Wizard Posted June 18, 2006 Posted June 18, 2006 so how should I handle this when we talk? I dont wanna turn it into more of a big deal than it already is now. Well, it already COULD be a big deal. Don't take the situation lightly, you might end up losing her. Anyway, you need to talk to her IN PERSON. And, just tell her how you feel, apologize for any wrong doings you might have done (If any), say you want to work on your relationship, and that you love her.
ggoerl Posted June 18, 2006 Posted June 18, 2006 Well as of right now im just not trying to worry about it, I do love her but I dont think its the right time to mention something that I love her I mean its only been 2 months when is it right to start saying that? Well im just trying to think of what to so say now when we do have our talk? I dont think I am gonna lose her, but then again I think I might, I could just be paranoid but she said it her self that I am not gonna lose her the night before when she wanted to talk and its just a bump.
Guitar Wizard Posted June 18, 2006 Posted June 18, 2006 Well as of right now im just not trying to worry about it, I do love her but I dont think its the right time to mention something that I love her I mean its only been 2 months when is it right to start saying that? Well im just trying to think of what to so say now when we do have our talk? I dont think I am gonna lose her, but then again I think I might, I could just be paranoid but she said it her self that I am not gonna lose her the night before when she wanted to talk and its just a bump. Funny you should say that. When me and an ex of mine were having problems (We were going out for... 4 months?) she said she wanted to talk to me about something later, I told my friend that "Oh, it's just a small bump", those were my EXACT words. She broke up with me later that night. So, it might be just a bump, or she might want to move on. At any rate, hearing the words "We need to talk" has never been good, in my experiance.
Bullgator Posted June 18, 2006 Posted June 18, 2006 ggoerl, when I was a young man, those words "we need to talk" would make my blood run cold. I was always afraid I was going to hear something hurtful. And you know what? Often I did. But maturity teaches you some things. And one of them is that avoiding a problem doesn't make it go away. If you *really* think you love this girl, then let me tell you what love looks like. Love moves *toward*. Talk to her -- in person. *Listen* to what she is saying. If it ends up being hurtful for you, I feel for you, but believe me, you will not regret making a habit of dealing with potential conflict early and directly. If it ends up being "nothing", just remember it was important enough for her to bring it up to you. So don't just blow it off. JMHO
ggoerl Posted June 18, 2006 Posted June 18, 2006 yea Im just gonna try and be honest with her when we talk, im gonna appologize how we shouldve talked on the phone in the first place and how i am sorry i didnt keep it between us and what not and hope that it goes smooth.
ggoerl Posted June 19, 2006 Posted June 19, 2006 Ok, well we talked. we went over a few things, how sometimes it doesnt feel like we are in a relationship together, how she wants more alone time together cause we are most of the time out with everyone, how she hasnt been happy the past 2-5 days and she doesnt know why and she wants me to tell her when I have problems so we can work it out Well I told her that I was sorry and that I felt the same way too at times and that in the future we will have more alone time and how I hate seeing her unhappy cause it makes me unhappy seeing her that way and I wanna make her the happiest she can be and that next time there is a problem i will talk to her about so we can work it out and I promised to be a better boyfriend. She said she will talk to me tomorrow which is today.
ashnicole Posted June 19, 2006 Posted June 19, 2006 Talk to her. Listen to her. As hard as it may be to not butt in, or let your curiousity, or anxiety get the best of you... just talk to her. It may not be as bad as you think.
Recommended Posts