Guest Posted June 18, 2006 Posted June 18, 2006 I have recently ended an A, lasted about 6 months. his wife found out as some photos of me accidently found their way onto disc. i thought if either of us got caught, it would be me as my partner is pretty computer literate and i don't know if he has been spying on my comp usage (component of A was virtual). i always delate history but am sure if you know how, you can still monitor? have never strayed before in 8 years together, and feel terrible, barely holding it together some days. think he might suspect as has asked me directly if i have met another, and made noises about how he would never forgive me if he found out something. now the A is over, i am in no mans land, trying to work out my feelings toward partner, and what i will do if he does find out. my counsellor says my partner probably knows deep down, other wise he would not ask. just wondering about other peoples stories, if and how you got caught, and how you got through the other side - the aftermath of the A even if not caught.
Sup Posted June 18, 2006 Posted June 18, 2006 I have recently ended an A, lasted about 6 months. his wife found out as some photos of me accidently found their way onto disc. i thought if either of us got caught, it would be me as my partner is pretty computer literate and i don't know if he has been spying on my comp usage (component of A was virtual). i always delate history but am sure if you know how, you can still monitor? have never strayed before in 8 years together, and feel terrible, barely holding it together some days. think he might suspect as has asked me directly if i have met another, and made noises about how he would never forgive me if he found out something. now the A is over, i am in no mans land, trying to work out my feelings toward partner, and what i will do if he does find out. my counsellor says my partner probably knows deep down, other wise he would not ask. just wondering about other peoples stories, if and how you got caught, and how you got through the other side - the aftermath of the A even if not caught. let him know, he has a right to be happy too. Even if it's with someone else, he should have a choice about HIS life.
whichwayisup Posted June 18, 2006 Posted June 18, 2006 Come clean now and be the one to tell your spouse before the MM's wife calls and spills the beans. He may hate you either way, but atleast if you tell him first you'll gain abit of respect in his eyes for telling the truth of it all. I agree, he has a right to make the choice if he wants to give you another chance or end it and move on. Wouldn't you wanna know and have the choice? What if 10 years from now he finds out. That's 10 years of hiding a WHOPPER lie from him...And the other thing is, you don't know who else knows about your affair. People gossip and word can get around faster than you think.
sickinside Posted June 18, 2006 Posted June 18, 2006 I agree you need to come clean. This will eat you up inside if you don't.This is also probably eating your H up inside. He has a right to make his choice and if you have a strong foundation it will work out in the end. I always said infidelity would be the end for a relationship but in the end I tried to work it out. I hope everythig goes o.k.
sylviaguardian Posted June 20, 2006 Posted June 20, 2006 I agree with your counsellor. If he is asking these questions, he probably already suspects. Once someone suspects, it is usually just a matter of time before the truth comes out and usually a lot of damage is done on the way. I don't know what you should do, but confessing and telling the truth straight up can save a lot of damage caused by lying and denying. Look at it this way: even if you have a good time with your husband now, once the truth is out, he will look back on that and see it as sick that you could be nice to him, whilst still lying. If you tell him the truth, of course he will be furious and it will be tough to live with, but at least he will know that you respect him enough to tell him the truth.
samsungxoxo Posted June 20, 2006 Posted June 20, 2006 Yes I do agree that you need to come clean on this one, there is afterall a high possibility of the other man's wife calling and tellin your husband everything or the disk getting where. After all would you rather be caught, which then your husband will hate you more and won't even know if you are really sorry or telling him yourself?? I would say spill the beans and be real honest about it, and answer all his question.
catgirl1927 Posted June 20, 2006 Posted June 20, 2006 I agree. Tell him and give him a chance to be happy.
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