What women want

[alphamale]

Sapiens driving with his SO in a dark secluded place, then he tells her to drop her panties and get her Pu__Y really wet to please him!

OR...SAPIENS driving with his SO in a dark secluded place, then he tells her to drop her panties and get her puxxy wet to please him. She hits him over head with beer bottle and SAPIENS loses control of car and crashes into tree. Both die in ensuing fire-ball

[Sapiens]

OR...SAPIENS driving with his SO in a dark secluded place, then he tells her to drop her panties and get her puxxy wet to please him. She hits him over head with beer bottle and SAPIENS loses control of car and crashes into tree. Both die in ensuing fire-ball

 

At least can't say it was a boring relationship can you, LOL!

 

-Sapiens

[amerikajin]

I don't think verbal abuse is really necessary. I think you just need to see things for what they are and start taking action to get control of her.

[riobikini]

The thread title: "What do women want?"

 

It's certainly not being controlled by someone.

 

I don't know about this "taking control of her" business...(Smile)....but I *do* know I like a man to have (and admire in any human) the ability to be in control of themselves.

 

For me, a potential partner has to display certain over-riding traits. One of them is certainly being in reasonable control of themselves and that usually goes hand-in-hand with a few other traits: (i.e. easy-going, reasonable nature, sure of himself, and has a few important goals to meet without having to look back every other day and question whether he's headed in the right direction).

 

You'll never have to put forth any concerted effort to keep my attention, or go to great lengths to " gain control" of me, if *you* already have it "all together" (or, at least, the greatest part).

 

Anyone's efforts to gain control of me, only irritates me, and tips me off to possible insecurities, -not my own, -but theirs.

 

The replacement word/phrase for "gaining control" is, for me, more correctly, and from an entirely different perspective, *gaining respect and understanding* of each other.

 

And that comes with the certainty and reliance of who they've proven themselves to be up to that point, and how well they know the roles of their position in the relationship.

 

If there's still a shred of doubt about whether someone has my attention, and suddenly feels the need to seek 'control' of the relationship, then it's likely they need to go back and take a look at what they truely know about their responsibilities regarding their position in the role of a male partner in a romantic relationship.

 

Male dominance is important in a relationship, -but it's saturated with ridiculous fairytale lies which undermine the real strength of having it, and understanding *why* it's essential.

 

Having it doesn't necessarily mean you automatically are appointed the 'boss' or leader in situations, nor does it mean that you should always act aggressively, or force your way (-or none) in the relationship.

 

It doesn't mean that you are supposed to act violently, abusively, or insensitively to anyone, -just because.

 

Male dominance is, I believe, actually a man's banner: it demands, and is made up of respect -first to himself- then to others; it's the air of easygoing confidence in all his abilities and the true knowledge of who he is, -and while it is *learned* behavior*, for the most part, and may be derived from past experiences -it is not contrived, it's quite natural.

 

It's a sincere, capable, compassionate, and quite *honorable* trait.

 

My personal experience has been that men tend to apply one aspect (or dimension) of the role of male dominance to a relationship: what they've been taught, or heard was the 'right' way to treat a woman without allowing experience or intuition the chance to create a solid foundation of knowledge about the role. The role of male dominance, itself, is altogether different than what boys (and men) seem to carry around and pass along to each other as correct information, often learned as far back as on the playground or locker room.

 

The role of male dominance has *responsibilities* and should be flexible and have the ability to adjust it's flow into a relationship, *in degrees* and according to the circumstances, and adjust to periodical upgrades (i.e. a continued, growing maturity and understanding of the role).

 

There's no need for creating a whole campaign to 'control' anyone, if you know your role as a man well.

 

Just my views, but I hope this helps someone.

 

Take care.

 

-Rio

[lonelybird]

If you take control of her by wreck her self-esteem, you lose too. lose-lose:(

[Pyro]

The thread title: "What do women want?"

 

It's certainly not being controlled by someone.

 

I don't know about this "taking control of her" business...(Smile)....but I *do* know I like a man to have (and admire in any human) the ability to be in control of themselves.

 

For me, a potential partner has to display certain over-riding traits. One of them is certainly being in reasonable control of themselves and that usually goes hand-in-hand with a few other traits: (i.e. easy-going, reasonable nature, sure of himself, and has a few important goals to meet without having to look back every other day and question whether he's headed in the right direction).

 

You'll never have to put forth any concerted effort to keep my attention, or go to great lengths to " gain control" of me, if *you* already have it "all together" (or, at least, the greatest part).

 

Anyone's efforts to gain control of me, only irritates me, and tips me off to possible insecurities, -not my own, -but theirs.

 

The replacement word/phrase for "gaining control" is, for me, more correctly, and from an entirely different perspective, *gaining respect and understanding* of each other.

 

And that comes with the certainty and reliance of who they've proven themselves to be up to that point, and how well they know the roles of their position in the relationship.

 

If there's still a shred of doubt about whether someone has my attention, and suddenly feels the need to seek 'control' of the relationship, then it's likely they need to go back and take a look at what they truely know about their responsibilities regarding their position in the role of a male partner in a romantic relationship.

 

Male dominance is important in a relationship, -but it's saturated with ridiculous fairytale lies which undermine the real strength of having it, and understanding *why* it's essential.

 

Having it doesn't necessarily mean you automatically are appointed the 'boss' or leader in situations, nor does it mean that you should always act aggressively, or force your way (-or none) in the relationship.

 

It doesn't mean that you are supposed to act violently, abusively, or insensitively to anyone, -just because.

 

Male dominance is, I believe, actually a man's banner: it demands, and is made up of respect -first to himself- then to others; it's the air of easygoing confidence in all his abilities and the true knowledge of who he is, -and while it is *learned* behavior*, for the most part, and may be derived from past experiences -it is not contrived, it's quite natural.

 

It's a sincere, capable, compassionate, and quite *honorable* trait.

 

My personal experience has been that men tend to apply one aspect (or dimension) of the role of male dominance to a relationship: what they've been taught, or heard was the 'right' way to treat a woman without allowing experience or intuition the chance to create a solid foundation of knowledge about the role. The role of male dominance, itself, is altogether different than what boys (and men) seem to carry around and pass along to each other as correct information, often learned as far back as on the playground or locker room.

 

The role of male dominance has *responsibilities* and should be flexible and have the ability to adjust it's flow into a relationship, *in degrees* and according to the circumstances, and adjust to periodical upgrades (i.e. a continued, growing maturity and understanding of the role).

 

There's no need for creating a whole campaign to 'control' anyone, if you know your role as a man well.

 

Just my views, but I hope this helps someone.

 

Take care.

 

-Rio

 

And once again, the wise words and thoughts of Rio have saved the day.

 

Genius, truly genius.

[Mary3]

You are missing the point, it is a given a man can overpower a woman physically.

 

Let me give you an unpredictable moment:

 

Sapiens driving with his SO in a dark secluded place, then he tells her to drop her panties and get her Pu__Y really wet to please him!

 

She trembles in anticipatory pleasure......

 

-Sapiens

 

And then she kindly reminds Sapiens in order to get * wet * she needs him to play with her ....

[SmoochieFace]

I don't think verbal abuse is really necessary. I think you just need to see things for what they are and start taking action to get control of her.

 

I would really like it if you could/would explain to me/us why *control* is so important in a relationship... particularly from a male standpoint.

[Pink Amulet]

Control is what I fear most in a relationship.

[amerikajin]

Control is important because women want it. I don't mean that they want their every move to be manipulated - they want the freedom to roam like a wild mustang, and a man should give her that freedom. Just know that eventually, she has to be fenced in.

 

I'm actually not the controlling type - at least not in the classic sense. If my girl wants to go out with her friends - even guy friends - I've got no problem with that, provided I know who they are and what kind of situation they're going to be involved in (not comfortable with one-on-one male/female friendships, but that's another thread). If she wants a career, that's fine too. She is free to be her own woman.

 

But the moment she starts taking me for granted, I will reassert my identity. I will take control of the relationship by responding in a way that shows self-control. Dominance should be displayed only when necessary, only as a last resort. But when those times arise, it should ALWAYS be displayed.

[riobikini]

re:

 

amerikajin: " But the moment she starts taking me for granted, I will reassert my identity. I will take control of the relationship by responding in a way that shows self-control. "

 

Maybe it's as much 'self-respect', as it is 'self-control'.

 

(Smile)

 

AK, *I'm, glad* you cleared things up a bit with your last post in regards to the 'control' thing being spoken about: the posts seemed to be taking a turn in the slightly demeaning, and arrogant direction -but I *think*, (after reading back) it may have just been due to the selection of a few words and phrases, perhaps not well-chosen, but well-meaning, nonetheless.

 

You more than made up for it in the above quote from your post, showing that the 'control' you seek in such a situation, is really about taking control of the circumstances, -rather than becoming Lord and Master over another human being.

 

Taking control of the *circumstances*, (in regards to what you can actually have authority or control over in another human being) is a more acceptable means to get the attention of someone who has wobbled of the path a bit, and needs to be led back on it.

 

(Smile)

 

There's a 'right' way and a 'wrong' way to *redirect* the behavior of another, that is- again- *whatever is possible* that actually falls into your authority and capability, concerning some else's behavior.

 

Your actions, or how you choose to implement your plan may call for mild or more drastic measures, depending on the situation.

 

And that's where *your own* self-control comes into play.

 

Your actions, then, prove your integrity, your self-knowledge, your boundaries (and theirs), as well as offering you the opportunity to show the rest of the 'good stuff' -the quality material- that you're made of.

 

Regaining ground in tough situations like have been described here, takes alot of guts, understanding, and resolve to remain true to your own beliefs about who *you are*, -and the kind of person you're offering up as a partner in the relationship.

 

Going back to the less-sophisticated, natural and simplistic views from my upbringing, I give you the following:

 

*With yoked-together cattle, there is both a leader, and a follower, -but you only learn the difference between them, as they walk through the fields together, *side by side*.

 

(Smile)

 

Take care.

 

-Rio

[Mary3]

Control is important because women want it. I don't mean that they want their every move to be manipulated - they want the freedom to roam like a wild mustang, and a man should give her that freedom. Just know that eventually, she has to be fenced in.

 

I'm actually not the controlling type - at least not in the classic sense. If my girl wants to go out with her friends - even guy friends - I've got no problem with that, provided I know who they are and what kind of situation they're going to be involved in (not comfortable with one-on-one male/female friendships, but that's another thread). If she wants a career, that's fine too. She is free to be her own woman.

 

But the moment she starts taking me for granted, I will reassert my identity. I will take control of the relationship by responding in a way that shows self-control. Dominance should be displayed only when necessary, only as a last resort. But when those times arise, it should ALWAYS be displayed.

 

You simply cannot *control* another person without their permission.

 

I see control as fear driven behavior.

 

I cannot be controlled because I don't want to lose sense of self and it just does not work for me.

 

He does his thing and I do mine.

 

To suffocate with insecure behavior is to end it for me when the rules and demands come out.

[starlet]

Control is important because women want it. I don't mean that they want their every move to be manipulated - they want the freedom to roam like a wild mustang, and a man should give her that freedom. Just know that eventually, she has to be fenced in.

 

I'm actually not the controlling type - at least not in the classic sense. If my girl wants to go out with her friends - even guy friends - I've got no problem with that, provided I know who they are and what kind of situation they're going to be involved in (not comfortable with one-on-one male/female friendships, but that's another thread). If she wants a career, that's fine too. She is free to be her own woman.

 

But the moment she starts taking me for granted, I will reassert my identity. I will take control of the relationship by responding in a way that shows self-control. Dominance should be displayed only when necessary, only as a last resort. But when those times arise, it should ALWAYS be displayed.

 

I find the idea that, because I am a woman, I need to be '"fenced in"....not a little offensive. "If she wants a career, that's fine too" - well, I'm sure that the female gender thanks you for your gracious permission.

 

And how exactly does your response show "self-control"? I think that I can't help but read these responses as being very demanding and arrogant, and sorry if you didn't mean it like that, but as a woman, and more importantly, as a PERSON, I'm not controlled, and I shouldn't be, by anybody but myself.

[amerikajin]

Women claim that they hate being controlled, but will end up divorcing someone because she 'Had to make all the decisions in the marriage'.

 

That's what my ex fiance said about her ex-husband, and I bought her story for the first year or so we were together. After a while though, it became quite apparent to me what that meant. She would refuse to budge, refuse to give in whenever there was an argument. Over time, he simply gave up and gave in and started just going with her flow; I never did that. She divorced him; I ended up breaking up with her. And the reasons to me are crystal clear - she resented the fact that she dominated him but was in love with me because I never gave away my power. The problem was, I just grew weary of having to prove white was not black.

 

But the above is a situation that plays itself out every day in America and throughout the world now. Women do, despite whatever they tell us, want limits. Their words will almost never mirror the end result of what they communicate through their behavior. A woman has to see her man as strong, and that means being able to be more powerful than she is. That's nature. Sorry if you don't like it.

[Outcast]

But the moment she starts taking me for granted, I will reassert my identity. I will take control of the relationship by responding in a way that shows self-control. Dominance should be displayed only when necessary, only as a last resort. But when those times arise, it should ALWAYS be displayed.

 

That's not 'control'.

 

A woman has to see her man as strong, and that means being able to be more powerful than she is. That's nature. Sorry if you don't like it.

 

It is always a mistake to assume you understand someone else's motivations. Nor can you be so certain that you assessed and analyzed the situation correctly. And it's also always a mistake to extrapolate from a few limited experiences to 'all' anybody or anything.

 

It's a very human tendency to seize upon a simplistic explanation and think it cleanly describes behaviour. It's a mistake. People are much more complex than can be summarized in these one-line philosophies.

 

As for the bit about 'domination', this is just another sad, tired old rehash of the 'nice guy' BS. Yes, of course, nobody wants a doormat. Duh. But you don't have to 'take control' or 'dominate' to not be thought of as a doormat. There is a normal, healthy medium there that I wish people would aim for.

 

I'm starting to think that perhaps only grossly insecure people dream these things up because they haven't any spines so they overcorrect in hope of making up for what they lack. It's a human tendency to go overboard when trying to correct one's flaws, but this prescription you've come up with will only earn you grief.

 

I've been with one controlling man. Briefly. Anybody else tries it, he'll be dealing with empty airspace so fast his head'll fall off. People who try to control you are not respected because they show their weak underbellies. Truly secure people have no need to do that kind of thing.

[Tony T]

Women do, despite whatever they tell us, want limits. Their words will almost never mirror the end result of what they communicate through their behavior. A woman has to see her man as strong, and that means being able to be more powerful than she is. That's nature. Sorry if you don't like it.

 

Yes, absolutely. But they will fight vigorously when you point that out. There is an art to pulling this off and, if you get good at it, you'll have arrived.

[Outcast]

Nature? Well I guess if you're looking for a lady babboon you'll have to do a lot of chest-pounding I thought we were talking about humans, though.

[johan]

Yes, absolutely. But they will fight vigorously when you point that out. There is an art to pulling this off and, if you get good at it, you'll have arrived.

 

I think the art is in not talking about it too much. Or at all. Either you have it or you don't. If you do, then there really isn't much to say. If you don't, but you start spouting absolutes and inviolable rules, then at some point you're bound to contradict yourself either in your own defense or in your actions.

[Mary3]

Women claim that they hate being controlled, but will end up divorcing someone because she 'Had to make all the decisions in the marriage'.

 

That's what my ex fiance said about her ex-husband, and I bought her story for the first year or so we were together. After a while though, it became quite apparent to me what that meant. She would refuse to budge, refuse to give in whenever there was an argument. Over time, he simply gave up and gave in and started just going with her flow; I never did that. She divorced him; I ended up breaking up with her. And the reasons to me are crystal clear - she resented the fact that she dominated him but was in love with me because I never gave away my power. The problem was, I just grew weary of having to prove white was not black.

 

But the above is a situation that plays itself out every day in America and throughout the world now. Women do, despite whatever they tell us, want limits. Their words will almost never mirror the end result of what they communicate through their behavior. A woman has to see her man as strong, and that means being able to be more powerful than she is. That's nature. Sorry if you don't like it.

 

A controlling person will always want to be in control, so to say that person divorced the other because they " always had to make the decisions and grew sick of ( it ) and ( that ) person is not quite correct. Control leads itself to insecurity. Lose control and you lose your self.

So the person who divorced the one they got tired (of) controlling does not sound quite right.

 

You either are the controller or the recipient of the control. You either like to be submissive and want someone to control you because its easier or you like being in charge and controlling your said victim. I don't think that ever changes for the controller.

 

And then theres the healthy balanced couples who want to do everything equally together. Mix in a *controller* into the recipe and you have a fallen souffle that is bound to be a recipe for disaster.

[Pyro]

I think that its funny because the title of this thread is what women want. Everyone on here has a different take on what that is. Its obvious that no one knows for sure what women want. Women are individuals. Some want to be independent, some want to have an equal relationship, and unfortunately some want a man to guide and help them through life.

[johan]

...Its obvious that no one knows for sure what women want...

 

No truer statement has ever been typed.

[Pyro]

No truer statement has ever been typed.

 

Thank you.

 

I am tired of all these BS threads about how to keep women around, what women want, what childish immature games must one play in order to keep a bimbo woman around, etc.

 

You get my point.

 

Honestly, has there ever been any threads like this that were about men on here?

[allina]

Thank you.

 

I am tired of all these BS threads about how to keep women around, what women want, what childish immature games must one play in order to keep a bimbo woman around, etc.

 

You get my point.

 

Honestly, has there ever been any threads like this that were about men on here?

 

YES!!! When I read them I hope that no worthwhile men fall for this sort of bs, that would be a waste. And women don't post this sort of crap much because we're smarter

[Pyro]

YES!!! When I read them I hope that no worthwhile men fall for this sort of bs, that would be a waste. And women don't post this sort of crap much because we're smarter

 

The more that I read these type of threads, it makes me believe that any guy who has to resort to playing manipulative games like these threads talk about, must not have much confidence in being themselves around women or having confidence in what they have to offer to women. I understand that some guys do lack confidence around women but a ridiculous thread like this one and others is the last thing that a guy needs in order to boost their confidence. Like I have mentioned before on this thread, these type of guidelines will only get you a short-term meaningless relationship. A woman that is long-term material is way too smart to fall for these childish games.

[allina]

The more that I read these type of threads, it makes me believe that any guy who has to resort to playing manipulative games like these threads talk about, must not have much confidence in being themselves around women or having confidence in what they have to offer to women. I understand that some guys do lack confidence around women but a ridiculous thread like this one and others is the last thing that a guy needs in order to boost their confidence. Like I have mentioned before on this thread, these type of guidelines will only get you a short-term meaningless relationship. A woman that is long-term material is way too smart to fall for these childish games.

 

Exactly! Same with men who feel the need to create some sort of fake persona, sadly pathetic.