horsekiss Posted June 17, 2006 Posted June 17, 2006 :( have posted a few times about my absurd-relationship of 8 years which ended-out of the blue-no warning, no huge arguments, nothing! completely blind-sided-a relationship-that was moving towards-what i thought was marriage-a man who i was emotionally and physically bonded to i was left betrayed and abandoned a leisurely sunday drive-ending with the last 10 minutes of peculiar, absurd,bizzarre behaviour from my boyfriend-who seemed to start throwing bizzarro accusations and almost sabotaging the relationship-into me be-ing a basket case-!!!! you see i started talking about the forbidden zone-'the relationship' to him-and i started to cry-i have been so frustrated with no progress in the relationship-towards commitment -i often would just cry-well with many promises and future talk-'oh it will happen soon' i again became emotional and wanted to talk-he totally shut me down and said i was having a 'breakdown' that was it! havent heard-or seen him since!!!!!!!!!! a bit over 3 months NC from him i refused this time to make any -contact either! why? would i he stomped on my heart and basically through me out of the caR! not even concerned or caring-so malitious- i still am in a haze i couldnt work,eat or sleep for the first 6 wks i cant believe this is happening to me i have become stronger over the last few weeks and i know i will make it through ok with the help of many friends family and even councilling -and of course-these posts!!!!! my question is after reading so many books 'why men cant love' and she is scared he is scared' i am convinced -he fits the mould 41 years old-and still plays these -'houdini games' never talked about us-marriage just gave me hope -and year after year went by and i hoped!!!!! any of you out there have been in situations like these CAN COMMITMENTPHOBIA REALLY exist????? so hard to grasp that this actually is a -sickness so to speak so afraid to be with someone you love and care and have fun with! its like he is two different people my best buddy-my romantic partner-and then in a puff of smoke gone! what the hell are these COMMITMENTPHOBICS SOOOO AFRAID OF????? AT 41 YEARS OLD WHAT IS THE PROBLEM? DO MANY OF THESE MEN STAY SINGLE FOREVER-ARE THE SCARED FOR THE REST OF THEIR LIVES UGGGGGGGG HARD TO ACCEPT! i have been with a man for 8 years -who is scared to commit! I WOKE UP I FINALLY WOKE UP
Diver012 Posted June 18, 2006 Posted June 18, 2006 I read the same books you have. I wsa dumped out of teh blue without any explanation. Now I only dated this person for 6 months... my situation isnt as bad as yours.... I was also told "I did nothing Wrong" its not you its me speech. She was 39 and I am 35. We are both executives working for teh same company.. not good either... now I get to work with her.. uugh Yes these people truely do exist. I think its a sickness... I really do. I do not think these people will ever find true happiness in anything they ever do... they point out the flaws in everyone and everything around them. Nothing is ever good enough in their little world... Im sorry your going through this.... I got off much easier although I have cried more over this woman, than any other hurt ive ever experienced. You have to let it go...
Author horsekiss Posted June 18, 2006 Author Posted June 18, 2006 hey Diver012 thanks for your thread makes me feel a bit better knowing i am not the only one in such a horrible situation and that it does happen to people i guess society is so conditioned to think men do this more than woman that even reading your post makes me think' i cant believe its a female doing this" wow! guess its applicable to both- you know how nuts i am going after being in this for 8 years!!!!!!! and you went through hell afte a 6 month relationship! sigh... its a long battle ahead but i keep saying-this is just a guy who will never ever commit and i have no choice but to move on -each day slowly getting over him......
Diver012 Posted June 18, 2006 Posted June 18, 2006 She was one of the only women I felt I could spend the rest of my life with... Thats a hard truth to face for me now... Maybe its time I admitted to a few commitment phobic tendancies of my own... *Shrugs* It will get better. I Promise.
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