dt1973 Posted June 17, 2006 Posted June 17, 2006 Hey okay, well I went thru a lot of stages similar to posts I read on here. I eventually got to the point where I could meet a girl, and I would just "know" things.. how to take it further. How to read her interest. How to be a man about it.. not be all indecisive.. etc. Well I totally lost it one day, and just haven't been dating or meeting new people since. It's been about five years now. So, lately I been starting to get back out there now. I met three girls recently, but I just notice how differernt it is cause now I'm in my early 30's and they're all in their late 20's. I know girls (women) are different in late 20's, especially if they're still single and maybe feelin the biological clock tickin'.. they have that attitude less of hope, more of disappointment.. like all their friends are married, and they're still single. I used to date girls that were like 19 to 24. All full of hope. You know it's differnt at that age. You "hook up".. things just happen. There's not too much thinking involved, you know!? But now, I'm in this whole new world. I guess, I've grown up. I don't know how to date as a "grown up". I don't know how fast is too fast, how slow is too slow. I don't want to seem like a horny 18 yr old and be all pimp daddy to show her I'm interested.. but then I don't want to seem like one of those old guys who are hopeless and unwanted either. So I just hang out with them and feel like I'm waiting more for them to give me a green light to move in. But these girls, they don't do that. I can't tell if it's an age thing, because all my experience with the younger girls was that they would give me obvious signals. Now, I'm not sure if they don't give signals because they're older and don't do that no more, maybe being more protective, etc. Or are they just not interested? That's what I lost, that intuitive feeling of knowing if they're interested or not. Just lookin for some insight into this here. Maybe some of you girls around 28-30 ish can fill me in.. What do you see as being appropriate as far as dating in our age range? Is it okay for a guy to be more.. timid as far as initiating physcial contact.. and do you see this more as a sign of maturity as opposed to fear? I don't want them thinking I'm "afraid". If a girl and I keep "hangin out".. and I feel like there's something, but she is not making this easy for me.. not giving me any obvious responses.. what the hell am I supposed to do? I don't want to "talk" about it cause that seems weak. I don't want to just move in for a kiss cause that seems too 18 year old-ish. And when I do flirt.. it seems more like us bein playful, but not necessarily meaning I can move in for a kiss.. lol. i know i sound totally naive. But, I am. I'm stuck in this situation with THREE friggen girls right now and I feel like nothing will ever happen.. I might just have to start dating them youngin's again
Tim'sAngel Posted June 17, 2006 Posted June 17, 2006 Well, I don't know how much I qualify on replying to your post as I am one of those "youngin's", but my SO and I have a 14 year age difference so I'd like to shed some light on women my age dating "older men". I am 22 and SO is 36. Our relationship works out very well for several reasons. Other than the fact that we have amazing chemistry and compatibility (which I deem most important in any relationship), I have always been attracted to men alot older than me simply because I am very unattractive to men my age. I have always been alot more mature than most women my age and felt completely lost dating men of the same age. I have a 17 month old son, and I refuse to raise a baby and a husband!! I have found that men in their 20's usually are still finding a career and settling down and being comfortable in their own skin so to speak. Now, that being said, I don't really believe you have an issue with age, I think it is more of an issue finding women compatible with you. Where are you meeting these "girls"? Bars? Clubs? Work? Bookstores? I have found the place you meet someone can shed some light on the kind of people they are. Of course there is always an exception, but for the most part I think if you go to a place where people go to have fun, that is all your going to find... fun. As for recieving mixed signals, I'm not so sure that has to do with age either. Women and men alike are really bad about expressing interest. It seems that most people want to show interest and also protect themselves at the same time. Sort of like "I want to show him I'm interested but I don't want to put myself in a position where I might get rejected". I believe that causes confusion as a result. I think if you are dating a women for awhile, maybe two or three dates, and everything is going well and you are for sure she enjoys your company, then it is safe to talk about how each of you feel about taking it to the next level. I really hate the misconception that if you ask someone if they want something more with you they will lose interest. How else will you know? Again I don't think it is an age issue, I think it is an insecurity about being rejected and I think most people have that fear. If you don't put yourself out there, then you will never be for sure. JMO There is my two pennies.
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