animeangel Posted June 17, 2006 Posted June 17, 2006 on a minivacation, well really just a two day trip, out of town, far out of town, but we could actually be a real couple. Not have to hide we can hold hands and kiss in public...HIs talk with his wife didn't go well the day before and he said he wasn't sure what he was thinking. He stayed the night last night with me, I shoudln't have let him. But it is just so hard to describe the way he makes me feel, and I know I shouldn't be feeling this way towards him. But I've always heard you can't help who you love. And he has been the first guy I"ve been with in almost two years, since my fiancee died. So maybe I just feel safe, knowing that there is some boundary there, something I'll never be able to cross. I'll never be his wife. I'll be his friend his lover his girl but never his wife. *sigh* they can be so confusing...I know I need to have have NC, but easier said than done.
yesmaybe Posted June 17, 2006 Posted June 17, 2006 I do this with my MM - we work together, he's my boss, and so we go on business trips together, often in foreign countries. In my experience, these are double-edged swords: 1. On one hand, if you have a great time, then it intensifies the affair and things get even more uglier/painful/addictive. 2. On the other hand, if you have a great time, then the relationship becomes more "real." For me, it is both...more towards #2. It's only after these trips that MM has started to take real action towards being together with me. Which only makes things even more painful, as this is still a secret affair. So...just beware. There are pros and cons to every situation.
Author animeangel Posted June 17, 2006 Author Posted June 17, 2006 I have debated all day about wheather or not I should go through it. And out of my own curiosity I deceided to just to see how and if this changes the realtionship. sorry my spelling sucks I'm in a hurry I have to pick him up from work in 20 minutes
Author animeangel Posted June 18, 2006 Author Posted June 18, 2006 We got back about 30 minutes ago. When we made the plans we forgot today was fathers day. And I didn't want to take him away from his kids all day. But we had a wonderful time, god how I wish we could be a normal couple and walk around holding hands * I felt like I was 16 again(I dont know if I mentioned age before or not I'm 26 and he is 34* and stuff like that around here, too small a town. We went out to dinner, then went window shopping, did some stupid touristy stuff, went back to the room slept till noon, then did some shopping for our kids. And drove back..It was over with way to quick, next time we will have to plan better:p ... Sometimes though it drives me crazy, b/c he has been seperated for so long and neither has filed for a divorce.
movinon05 Posted June 18, 2006 Posted June 18, 2006 Now I'm confused!! You first say you'll never be his W, but he is separated and has not filed for divorce yet. What really is going on? Why does he have to hide when he's with you?
whichwayisup Posted June 18, 2006 Posted June 18, 2006 What's stopping him from getting a divorce so he can be with you all the time? A question to ponder........
Author animeangel Posted June 19, 2006 Author Posted June 19, 2006 Now I'm confused!! You first say you'll never be his W, but he is separated and has not filed for divorce yet. What really is going on? Why does he have to hide when he's with you? He is seperated, they live in seperate houses. His kids are involved and he is scared that if is caught messing around, she can take his kids. Also we live in a very small town, and he doesn't want any drama. Atleast thats what he tells me. Of course I suppose he lies to her about me, he could be lying to me about her. What's stopping him from getting a divorce so he can be with you all the time? A question to ponder Again I'm having another duh moment...Atleast you guys make me think. He told me that he can't afford the lawyer and fees *he doesn't have a glamourus job* and she won't b/c she hopes to eventually work things out. Which he has told me won't happen b/c they have been seperated for 2 years. Geez I'm feeling really stupid about now. And I know that I should leave him alone, and I try but he always calls if I don't answer he keeps calling till I do answer, or just comes by and waits for me to get home, and I jsut feel so happy with him. But I guess I'm not saying anything you all haven't heard before huh?
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