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Just a general... well, not rant really... but anyway.

 

So I'd been friends with this girl for about a month or so. We'd gone on one date (and even fooled around a bit), but following that, I realized I was not over my ex yet. I'd sent her an email and she admitted she wasn't over her ex yet, either. We agreed to be friends and that's that.

 

Flashfoward a few weeks. I had to go away on a trip for a couple weeks (funeral unforunately). While there, she sends me an email. In it she basically says that she hopes that she can be my g/f in the future.

 

I didn't reply to it initially (since I was going to be heading back in a day anyway), although I kinda wish I had now.

 

Truth is, I didn't think a relationship with us would work out at all. Even though we get along, it's as friends and what I wanted (at least in terms of compatibility relationship-wise) just wasn't there for me.

 

When I got back, we talked a couple times, but her email didn't really come up. I wanted to broach the subject, but both times she ended the conversation before I got the chance.

 

Two days ago, I just decided to call her and talk to her about it. I wanted to at least aknowledge it, but I also wanted to be honest about my feelings, since I didn't want to leave her hanging. I didn't get her, but I left her a voice mail explaining that while I thought we were good friends, I just didn't think the compatibility was there for me for a relationship. And part of this, I think, is that I'm still not over my ex.

 

Today, oddly enough, my ex gives me a call and left a message. She wanted to talk and see how things were. I wrestled with calling her back. I know the whole idea of NC is NC. But at the same time, I thought I might regret not calling. So I did. We chatted for a bit, caught up, and it was generally pleasant. I finished the conversation not madly missing her, so I think that's a good sign.

 

However, then I called this other girl back. She was extremely... put off I guess. She didn't want to discuss what I said at all, and didn't want to really talk to me even. I guess it stung quite a bit. She is a sensitive girl and honestly one of the reasons I wouldn't want to be with her in a relationship is she seems to have low self esteem like my ex did (but I definitely did NOT tell her that).

 

It just seemed like an odd day... possibily ruin a friendship with one girl, while my ex was talking about she hopes we can be friends again one day. Go figure.

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