tink22702 Posted June 16, 2006 Posted June 16, 2006 I have been dating a guy for four and a half years now. We have had ups and downs but only split up one time. During that split he saw another girl but called me at 3 am crying his eyesout 3 weeks later begging for me back. I has been 4 months since we have been back together after that split. We had a huge argument a week ago. I got very emotional during the argument and acted a little out of sorts, crying histerically. We did not talkforafew days after the fight. He told me he hated when I acted so immature and could not stand my temper tantrums. We decided to break up for a while , while I got some professional help for my emotions. He kissed me goodbye and I went home. The next day he called me ( when we were not supposed to be calling each other) we talked for hours, and hung out the folowing day. When we hung out we had sex. I decided after that was a bad idea. I told him if he wanted to be with me then he had to be with me, no breaks. He got so mad that i told him to take me or leave me and said he didnt want me. 3 days later he called me and appologized for being an jerk w e talked for an hour. he told me that he really wanted s to sort things out and if we can become stronger people ( especially me with my emotions) we would get back together in the future. But he also said we are broken up but should and could hang out while we are apart but still that it was ok to see other people. He told me he wants to be with me but that i need to work out my issues individually before we can be strong together again. I dont k now what to do. Should I be hanging out with him during this time frame. Should I be ok with himseeing other girls, he told me I could see other guys as well. I just dont k now what to do. I dont know if i should call him to hang out, or wait for him to call me or not see him at all. I love him. But im so lost, i dont want to get hurt. please help. I need an outsider to annalysie this and let me know what they think. Especially male help. or ones who have exsperienced similar issues.
Buttaflyy Posted June 16, 2006 Posted June 16, 2006 I have been dating a guy for four and a half years now. We have had ups and downs but only split up one time. During that split he saw another girl but called me at 3 am crying his eyesout 3 weeks later begging for me back. I has been 4 months since we have been back together after that split. We had a huge argument a week ago. I got very emotional during the argument and acted a little out of sorts, crying histerically. We did not talkforafew days after the fight. He told me he hated when I acted so immature and could not stand my temper tantrums. We decided to break up for a while , while I got some professional help for my emotions. He kissed me goodbye and I went home. The next day he called me ( when we were not supposed to be calling each other) we talked for hours, and hung out the folowing day. When we hung out we had sex. I decided after that was a bad idea. I told him if he wanted to be with me then he had to be with me, no breaks. He got so mad that i told him to take me or leave me and said he didnt want me. 3 days later he called me and appologized for being an jerk w e talked for an hour. he told me that he really wanted s to sort things out and if we can become stronger people ( especially me with my emotions) we would get back together in the future. But he also said we are broken up but should and could hang out while we are apart but still that it was ok to see other people. He told me he wants to be with me but that i need to work out my issues individually before we can be strong together again. I dont k now what to do. Should I be hanging out with him during this time frame. Should I be ok with himseeing other girls, he told me I could see other guys as well. I just dont k now what to do. I dont know if i should call him to hang out, or wait for him to call me or not see him at all. I love him. But im so lost, i dont want to get hurt. please help. I need an outsider to annalysie this and let me know what they think. Especially male help. or ones who have exsperienced similar issues. You keep mentioning emotional issues. I'm not sure if his claims are valid or if he is just a jerk. Why does he say that you should seek help for these "issues"? Can you describe the situation a little better?
Author tink22702 Posted June 17, 2006 Author Posted June 17, 2006 well by emotional issues i mean when we fight soemtimes i cry and cry and cry for no reason hetells me to go home and get rest and i still cry and wont leave untill he gets so mad that he has to kick meout then i cry more and more and still wont go. Its a very messy scean that has happend more then once. He treatens to call police.But i feel some of the issues thread from hi. I just need to know what to do about hanging out with him, andtrying tobe with him
Author tink22702 Posted June 17, 2006 Author Posted June 17, 2006 i am seeking help from a counselor to prove to him i can change and be stronger but I am scared that i will make this change and he will leave me. he still calles me, but i am yet to see him for i dont k now if it is a good decition please help.
Pink Amulet Posted June 17, 2006 Posted June 17, 2006 It sounds like you need to be by yourself for a while. You need to find your won happiness. You just can't rely on someone else to make you happy. I would tell him to just lay off calling you for a while and just find yourself. This will also give him some time to figure things out too. If you find your way back to eachother, then so be it. But maybe you will realise you don't want someone who will kick you out when you cry?
AMBERINVEGAS Posted June 17, 2006 Posted June 17, 2006 Sounds like he want's his cake and eat it too. If anyone should see someone about their emotions or lack of, it would be him. Don't let him point his finger at you saying "you need help with your emotions". And don't go by his rules. Think about it..he wants to sleep with other girls, or maybe even find a replacement while he keeps you on the back burner until it happens. Screw that. Girl pull yourself up and tell him (reverse psychology) you don't want him and you want to move on.
Guest Posted June 18, 2006 Posted June 18, 2006 I just went threw a break up similar to yours. Let me tell you. I think he is totally playing you. I mean to break up with someone and still want to hang out? What kind of crap is that. Let me explain what he is trying to say. He is not sure that your the one for him therefore he wants to test the water, but keep in around in case he can't find anything he likes. Besides its not really fair to you to keep you hanging on. "Move on"!
Author tink22702 Posted June 18, 2006 Author Posted June 18, 2006 update* he randomly showed up at my house to talk. He told me he didnt want to be an ass hole, that he loved me , wanted to be with me but didnt want to be with me and be fighting all the time. He said he wants to hang out everynow and then and if things go well maybe we will get back together . But he says in the meantime we are clearly broken up and it is ok to be with others. He was so kind when he showed up and hes not the type to just come over and tell me he loves me and hates to see me cry, but still he did not want to get back together, he said i need to change n ot only for him but for myself, I told him i was scared i would change and in the end be with out him. Do i hang out with him, or not, and if i do how do i act when i do . ?
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