TerryTeardrop Posted June 16, 2006 Posted June 16, 2006 Hi This is my first time here and I need some advice I will explain as brief as possible I have been dating a girl for 6 weeks now and we get alomg really well. She is 35 and I am 37. We both have children and we both agreed not to meet them as we do not know where we will lead to. We have alot in common and we see each other twice a week but speak every day. Anyway to cut to the chase, yesterday I had promised to be at her house at 1pm to take her to see a car and to then go out to lunch. I work nights and it has been stressful at work lately and I woke up at 6pm yesterday (5 hours late for our date) She had left a friendly message on my phone asking where I was at around 2pm. I text her and said how sorry I was and joked that I had also missed the football and she did not reply. I then sent another saying i was sorry i did not take her to see the car and I will make it up to her and she replied "I do not care about you taking me to see the car I am so upset that I got my mum to babysit, not so I could see a car but to see YOU and you could not be bothered to even set an alarm, I am worth more than that" I feel so annoyed with myself and I agree that I should have set an alarm. I replied that I know she is worth so much more than that (she is) but she did not reply! She is really a great girl and it would be awful to end over this. I have not contacted her back since yesterday. Have I lost her? Oh I must also add that this is not the first time I have woken up late and she has always been fine and understanding - I guess 5 hours was taking the piss a bit eh! What shall I do?
scrybe74 Posted June 16, 2006 Posted June 16, 2006 #1) if you don't have an alarm clock - get one. #2) don't be late again. 5 hours is ridiculous - if you're going to be late then let her know as far in advance as possible. I don't know if your kids live with you or not but scheduling when you are the primary caretaker is a BIG DEAL so be respectful of that. #3) Send her flowers, candy, a letter - anything to let her know how bad you feel. Make a special effort to see her face to face. Good luck
Lishy Posted June 16, 2006 Posted June 16, 2006 Why have you not tried contacting her again since yesterday? 5 hours isnt just late, its an insult! I wouldnt sit around waiting for her to contact you hon!
Author TerryTeardrop Posted June 16, 2006 Author Posted June 16, 2006 Why have you not tried contacting her again since yesterday? 5 hours isnt just late, its an insult! I wouldnt sit around waiting for her to contact you hon! I dont know what to sayto her. How can I justify being 5 hours late? She is right, so what can I say? I am also worried that if I crawl too much she will see me as weak. I sent the last text saying that i know she is worth much more so isnt it her turn to respond? I am stuck between the devil and the deep blue sea really.
Art_Critic Posted June 16, 2006 Posted June 16, 2006 Send A lot of flowers and a very short message in the card..
climbergirl Posted June 16, 2006 Posted June 16, 2006 First off, why did you text instead of calling? To me seems a little impersonal.........JMO. Flowers are not only overkill, but, again, kind of impersonal. To me it seems to be an easy way out. My suggestion would be to call her and say, "I'm sorry, please let me make it up to you"..............and then you plan something special. And don't be late for that!
Author TerryTeardrop Posted June 16, 2006 Author Posted June 16, 2006 Ok I have to ask this without coming across as a jerk Is she justified in being this mad at me? She knows I work long hours and I am stressed at work at the moment and it was a genuine mistake that I already explained. Should I let her cool down and contact me? If I contact her after the last text that she did not respond to will she just think I am weak? Honest opinions please, do not hold back
Art_Critic Posted June 16, 2006 Posted June 16, 2006 You hurt her.. of course she is justified Do contact her.. and Apologize.. then go by how she reacts to that
climbergirl Posted June 16, 2006 Posted June 16, 2006 Ok I have to ask this without coming across as a jerk Is she justified in being this mad at me? She knows I work long hours and I am stressed at work at the moment and it was a genuine mistake that I already explained. Should I let her cool down and contact me? If I contact her after the last text that she did not respond to will she just think I am weak? Honest opinions please, do not hold back On this forum, and in my opinion, you haven't come off as a jerk or weak....but you have to understand that she isn't getting the message (and I wouldn't either if I were her) that you just made a mistake and you do truly care. Face it, you told her you would be there and you weren't. She's justified in being angry/hurt. Text messages are baaaaaaaad in this situation! Please call and amend asap.
gfto Posted June 16, 2006 Posted June 16, 2006 Being five hours late is rude. Apologizing via TEXT MESSAGE is super rude. But, what's done is done. As awkward as it will be, I'd say your only choice is to CALL (not text message), apologize (only once), and ask her on a date. If you're lucky, she'll politely accept your apology and accept the date. I have a hunch, however, that you're gonna get a lukewarm, wishy-washy answer. If so, then you're probably out. Incidently, I wouldn't send flowers. You want to apologize, not beg.
Author TerryTeardrop Posted June 17, 2006 Author Posted June 17, 2006 I am finding it hard to make this call! I think I will just be calling so she can finish with me. I feel she will blow me off and I cant help but agree that she is so nice she DOES deserve more than me!
Author TerryTeardrop Posted June 18, 2006 Author Posted June 18, 2006 I think I have made a huge mistake. I left it until today to contact, I emailed her and I lied! I told her I left my phone at my sons hourse and did not have her number and just remembered that I could email her. I just felt I had left it too long and any excuse just seemed lame. I told her I will call this evening. I am so in trouble!
Lishy Posted June 18, 2006 Posted June 18, 2006 Yes you are in trouble! Did you lie because you had left it so long to contact her? What will you say to her tonight?' If it was me I would see right through that and probably call you out on it! You are digging a hole, you should have been honest!
Outcast Posted June 24, 2006 Posted June 24, 2006 How come a person who's 37 years old hasn't figured out that you need an alarm to wake you up? I think Amerikajin's girlfriend and you would be a great match. http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t91871/
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