fordmustangman Posted June 16, 2006 Posted June 16, 2006 ok, now, im not sure whats going on here but its really wierd ok first of all i started dating this girl i had been friends with for about 7 years prior to going out with her 3 of which i spent in the army then about a month before i got out she stayed with me and drove home with me well we started dating right away and living together.we have now been together about 2 years, now she is a bit over weight, shes 5'3 and 200lbs and at the time it didn't bother me at all. i never really was with a bigger girl, but now for some reason it bothers the heck out of me, now when we first started i was in awsome shape then after about a year i gained a lot of weight like 45lbs well then about 6 months later i started to work out and started running again and eating healthy, well i lost all my weight again, i asked her to try she didn't i came about it about every way you could and then i finally told her that her wieght is really bothering me and nothing happened she tried walked for a week and eating healthy then it all stops, if i hound her she will for a bit but if i don't say anything then she is lazy and just eats bad. we tried to seperate and we made it about a week, while we were sperated i though you know what her weight don't bother me i just want her back so we got back together and now were in the same spot. also we fight a lot to not about her weight but about everything the house whos doing what and a lot of things we fight about, but one thing is im just not at all physically attracted to her, we don't even make love any more even when she asks it like once every 3 weeks mabye if that. im sorry if i sound like a total jerk but its just how i feel and im not sure what i can do to fix it. what do you guys suggest? thanks
ashnicole Posted June 16, 2006 Posted June 16, 2006 Tell her that you're upset by her not caring about her body at all. Remind her of the health problems with being that big. Don't make her feel down on herself, re-assure her that you care about her, but that you have a hard time believing that she really wants to do anything about it. Maybe try to take her to workout WITH you. Eat healthy WITH her. Don't have any junk food in the house. Also, the things you argue about, around the house - I'm assuming it's dishes, laundry, etc... maybe try to do a little more, so that she can see you're really trying to make an effort to make the relationship work on THAT aspect, and maybe that will help her to want to start being healthy WITH you. Tell her that you want to be sexy for her, but you feel you're hitting a dead end, because you're afraid that she doesn't want to be sexy for YOU. Maybe the reason she doesn't ask to have sex as much, is because she doesn't even really feel sexy in her own skin, so she doesn't understand why YOU would think she was sexy... maybe she knows she's not attractive to you anymore.
Author fordmustangman Posted June 16, 2006 Author Posted June 16, 2006 she does ask for sex a lot, its me that doesn't want to with her, and yes we fight about laundry dishes and stuff and its me thats doing them and her not helping she doesn't take any innitiave (sp) to do anything in the house unless asked to. its like 90 percent of the day i think about ending it cause i don't think we are really in love no more, but i do love her and care for her but im not in love with her. but when we seperate shes all i can think about and i just want her back, am i crazy ? lol
ashnicole Posted June 16, 2006 Posted June 16, 2006 she does ask for sex a lot, its me that doesn't want to with her, and yes we fight about laundry dishes and stuff and its me thats doing them and her not helping she doesn't take any innitiave (sp) to do anything in the house unless asked to. its like 90 percent of the day i think about ending it cause i don't think we are really in love no more, but i do love her and care for her but im not in love with her. but when we seperate shes all i can think about and i just want her back, am i crazy ? lol No, you love her, that's only natural to feel for someone that you've been together with for some time now. I'd say that there are certain things that SHE needs to do, in order to get this to work out. If you've tried, and it's not working, then maybe she just doesn't think it's worth it, and in that case, you'd probably be better off leaving anyway, before anyone gets more hurt.
Author fordmustangman Posted June 16, 2006 Author Posted June 16, 2006 no i should prob just end it now?
2020vision Posted June 16, 2006 Posted June 16, 2006 i don't think we are really in love no more, but i do love her and care for her but im not in love with her. Absence makes the heart grow fonder...however, if you are this miserable with her then yes, IMO you should leave. And goodness sakes, if you are not in love with her anymore, for whatever reason, break up and move on. She deserves someone who finds her physically attractive and you deserve someone your are phsyically attracted to.
Author fordmustangman Posted June 16, 2006 Author Posted June 16, 2006 ok thanks for the replys and no tearing my head off and telling me im a jerk like i though i was going to hear, thanks again
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