Marlien Posted June 16, 2006 Posted June 16, 2006 Roughly two months ago, I met my current boyfriend. He 'fell in love' with me after a mere couple of days; barely knowing eachother, we were bound for life. By "fate" he says. Considering how I never had a boyfriend before him, it's a likely story that I don't feel the same way. This entire time, my "love" was more of a strong platonic feeling. I wanted him as a friend, but was blinded by this new experience. Anyhow, it's been a while. Now that the initial infatuation has cleared away, I know that I only want to be friends with him, while he is still "in love". He's become rather codependent on me, however. I wonder... How would I go about ending the romantic relationship, while preserving a friendship? Perhaps it's not a matter of "how", but "if". Perhaps it would be more painful for him to see me on a friends-only basis. Advice is graciously accepted. I know I've been asking for a lot of help with this guy, but I have no relationship experience, let alone break-up experience.
Smung Posted June 16, 2006 Posted June 16, 2006 Not possible! The kindest thing you should do is tell him it's not working out and stop contacting him. Only time will heal the wounds and keeping him on a leash would be mean!! Be Kind but firm and let him go.
Author Marlien Posted June 16, 2006 Author Posted June 16, 2006 Ah, I thought as much. I hate to lose someone I intended to be friends with from the start, but if it's necessary, I'll have to. Thank you.
Tim'sAngel Posted June 16, 2006 Posted June 16, 2006 Heres the thing, once either of you have gone past the friendship (being romantically involved) IMO there is no way to go backwards. It might be possible for you because you were never wanting to become involved with him, but for him obviously having strong emotions towards you, it would be like a slap in the face to have to see you on a regular basis as you give him the "Hey friend" hug and conversation and whatnot while he wants to hold you, kiss you, carress you... you get the picture. I always say NC is best after a breakup. How can you really go backwards?
paige367 Posted June 16, 2006 Posted June 16, 2006 I've never been able to make the "friend's afterwards" thing work myself. It's a tricky balance. Kudos to anyone out there who has. I think letting him go for good would be for the best.
Author Marlien Posted June 16, 2006 Author Posted June 16, 2006 I can understand that, I suppose. You're right; it is different for me, since I only felt a friend-like bond in the first place. It'll be odd, for a while. My mom got used to him being around. (She doesn't know anything about the two of us, see.) When he suddenly stops showing up, it'll be suspicious. Oh well, it's still for the best.
Tim'sAngel Posted June 16, 2006 Posted June 16, 2006 How old are you Marlien? Are you still living with your mother?
Author Marlien Posted June 16, 2006 Author Posted June 16, 2006 Yes, I'm going to University this fall, but I live at home until then.
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