Apathetic Posted June 16, 2006 Posted June 16, 2006 So I wake up today & feel different..Think to myself that Im not going to be angry anymore about my ex moving on & that I was actually going to tell him im happy for him..I somewhat felt as if I didnt care at all anymore & that it doesnt bother me...UNTIL..I started thinking about him holding her & laying w/ her in his bed like he did with me EVERYDAY..and then the sex thought came in & I started CRYING HYSTERCIAL.I am crying as I type this. I have been doing good past few days & then this.So I guess this 'breakdown' is proof I still care? UGHH just the thought of him kissing her & holding her the way he did w/ me is making me fking sick to my stomach.I am not angry,I am just so sad over these thoughts.It feels like my stomach is being ripped out
Buttaflyy Posted June 16, 2006 Posted June 16, 2006 So I wake up today & feel different..Think to myself that Im not going to be angry anymore about my ex moving on & that I was actually going to tell him im happy for him..I somewhat felt as if I didnt care at all anymore & that it doesnt bother me...UNTIL..I started thinking about him holding her & laying w/ her in his bed like he did with me EVERYDAY..and then the sex thought came in & I started CRYING HYSTERCIAL.I am crying as I type this. I have been doing good past few days & then this.So I guess this 'breakdown' is proof I still care? UGHH just the thought of him kissing her & holding her the way he did w/ me is making me fking sick to my stomach.I am not angry,I am just so sad over these thoughts.It feels like my stomach is being ripped out It's an emotional rollercoaster but hang in there. You're heart is on a road to recovery. Why would you need to tell him that you are happy for him? Are you still in contact with him? Does he tell you about his relationship status. If so, that may be prolonging your process.
Author Apathetic Posted June 16, 2006 Author Posted June 16, 2006 Well we dont talk everyday like we use to.We spoke briefly last night,just basically a hello whats up kind of thing.I think I "need" to tell him im happy for him b/c in some way I think that will let me get closure and maybe then I can move on.I dont want to be bitter about this,afterall it was my fault we broke up in the first place(dont want to get into why) I just cant deal with the thoughts I am having. Even though we will never be again I dont want bad feelings between us & I want to be able to NOT be sad over this.I dont know whether I am coming or going
Buttaflyy Posted June 16, 2006 Posted June 16, 2006 Well we dont talk everyday like we use to.We spoke briefly last night,just basically a hello whats up kind of thing.I think I "need" to tell him im happy for him b/c in some way I think that will let me get closure and maybe then I can move on.I dont want to be bitter about this,afterall it was my fault we broke up in the first place(dont want to get into why) I just cant deal with the thoughts I am having. Even though we will never be again I dont want bad feelings between us & I want to be able to NOT be sad over this.I dont know whether I am coming or going You will have days like this but it will get better. I know you may not want to hear this right now but trust me it will. Wouldn't it be cool if there was a remedy for heartache? Unfortuately, the only thing there is, is time. Time heals all wounds. *Hugs* to you A!
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