Stunner Posted June 16, 2006 Posted June 16, 2006 Not sure how to deal with this...we only dated briefly, but his suddenly not calling lefft me reeling. Everyone who I've explained the situation to is confused also. Most would say that since he hasn't called and he isn't dead or experiencing a loss in the family he has simply lost interest... We met a month and a half ago and I gave him my card for business purposes. I ran into him at a later point and we talked for hours. He asked if he could see me again and I said yes. We had three dates spread out over three weeks plus one trip over to install a water heater and another to fix a leak from the water heater. On the third date we were intimate....three hours of mostly foreplay but after all that time the act was VERY short but still satisfying...all indictions that night, the next day and the following were positive. Now, nothing...no return phone calls. It has been two weeks since the 'act' and no return call. I did speak with him twice afterward...the second time he brought his daughter who he kissed me in front of and said he would talk to me soon and told her they would come back again. I guess I've been dumped. I don't know why...it's driving me nuts. Scared, maybe...he feels he's still moving too quickly romantically. He's seven years my junior but having a child and his life experiences and losses have matured him and I was impressed with his abiity to communicate and express himself. How does someone go from 'I really like you and don't want to mess anything up....that's the mistake I've made in the past." to just nothing? How do I let it go? I really liked this guy and we clicked on every level! Any advice would be helpful! I feel hurt and confused by his sudden actions. I left a message this past Monday saying I hoped he had a good weekend and would look forward to hearing back from him some time in the near future....it has been almost two weeks since I've heard from him.
Guest Posted June 16, 2006 Posted June 16, 2006 I would just wait to let him make the next move. It sounds like maybe he is a little scared. He's had a failed marraige/relationship in the past. He might be afriad of losing something that seems "so good." If he is interested he will call. If not, move on and don't look back.
SoleMate Posted June 16, 2006 Posted June 16, 2006 How do I let it go? Just keep reminding yourself that you two obviously had different goals in this short r/s. Then, go NC (no contact) and distract yourself with other activities. Next time, next guy, spend time getting to know him so you can predict his behavior better, BEFORE you have sex. This man was basically a stranger to you, and apparently snowed you. Or maybe he didn't even need to hand you any lines...you just filled them all in right in your head. If you want lasting, true love with someone who will always be faithful and loyal and never hurt you, you really do need to take it a LOT slower.
Author Stunner Posted June 17, 2006 Author Posted June 17, 2006 It's so strange...most of the guys are of the opinion he is scared...the girls think I got dumped. I guess time will tell....It sucks not knowing him so well as to be able to effectively imagine what is running through his head. Hopefully, this isn't interpreted as horn blowing but no one has ever dumped be before...it's usually the opposite...and I'm the one who is proposed to over and over again. I've never had to wonder, no one has ever lost interest and I'm usually pretty good at reading honesty and integrity in someone....why would someone tell me so much about himself and then disappear??? Or even MORE insulting...care more about making sure the water heater was repaired than returning my calls! YUCK I....just....don't....get....it. One thing is for sure, I need to get out and date again....RIGHT AWAY. Get back up on the horse and if he chooses to seek me out where I go to dance, then I'll know he was frightened and too embarassed to call. His ass better apologize all over the place and he better have a damn reasonable explanation.....Like, oh, I blew his mind and he was so overwhelmed with my beauty and sexual prowess he immediately wanted more and it scared him! LOL At least I don't think about calling him every day...THAT part is easing off a bit...but I still think of him and wonder. That, my friends is irritating.
luvtoto Posted June 18, 2006 Posted June 18, 2006 At least I don't think about calling him every day...THAT part is easing off a bit...but I still think of him and wonder. That, my friends is irritating. I am going through the exact same thing, stunner. This sucks doesn't it. Yea, I guess we just blew their minds with our beauty & just scared them off.
In Sync Posted June 18, 2006 Posted June 18, 2006 Not sure how to deal with this...we only dated briefly, but his suddenly not calling lefft me reeling. Everyone who I've explained the situation to is confused also. Most would say that since he hasn't called and he isn't dead or experiencing a loss in the family he has simply lost interest... We met a month and a half ago and I gave him my card for business purposes. I ran into him at a later point and we talked for hours. He asked if he could see me again and I said yes. We had three dates spread out over three weeks plus one trip over to install a water heater and another to fix a leak from the water heater. On the third date we were intimate....three hours of mostly foreplay but after all that time the act was VERY short but still satisfying...all indictions that night, the next day and the following were positive. Now, nothing...no return phone calls. It has been two weeks since the 'act' and no return call. I did speak with him twice afterward...the second time he brought his daughter who he kissed me in front of and said he would talk to me soon and told her they would come back again. I guess I've been dumped. I don't know why...it's driving me nuts. Scared, maybe...he feels he's still moving too quickly romantically. He's seven years my junior but having a child and his life experiences and losses have matured him and I was impressed with his abiity to communicate and express himself. How does someone go from 'I really like you and don't want to mess anything up....that's the mistake I've made in the past." to just nothing? How do I let it go? I really liked this guy and we clicked on every level! Any advice would be helpful! I feel hurt and confused by his sudden actions. I left a message this past Monday saying I hoped he had a good weekend and would look forward to hearing back from him some time in the near future....it has been almost two weeks since I've heard from him. I'm sorry it didn't work out, but since it was so brief has it simply occured to you that he just wasn't into you. Maybe the value he placed on being intimate wasn't the same as you placed on it. Obviously to him foreplay + a few nice dates, did not = new relationship. Maybe in his mind he figured you knew the score you both had a good time and that's it. You clicked on a level but that story came to an end... We all have to deal with rejection and bouncing back from it. Perhaps waiting a bit longer before becoming intimate with someone maybe a bit wiser. I mean if you are going to be casual and carefree sexually YOU can't expect that sex is a reason for a guy to call you back. Sorry that's a truth too many pretend that it doesn't matter and then those same people feel frustrated after they have sex (intimate sex acts) and the partner doesn't respond as we would like.
Author Stunner Posted June 18, 2006 Author Posted June 18, 2006 Very wise point...I thought honesty+ interest+the words coming from his mouth about continuing+the fact we wanted the same thing seemingly= The truth..
luvtoto Posted June 18, 2006 Posted June 18, 2006 What happened in your situation? Well, this is not my thread so feel free to read my history.
Author Stunner Posted June 18, 2006 Author Posted June 18, 2006 Well, this is not my thread so feel free to read my history. Wow. At least mine came across as a gentleman and let me lead! DAMN. It sounds like you have your head on straight, though! I'm still wandering in lost land.....it doesn't add up. Maybe I'm too logical to make sense of it. It sounds like you are moving on.
westernxer Posted June 18, 2006 Posted June 18, 2006 Hopefully, this isn't interpreted as horn blowing but no one has ever dumped be before...it's usually the opposite... Welcome to the fold.
Author Stunner Posted June 18, 2006 Author Posted June 18, 2006 Geee......thanks. ROFLMAO! I hope my dripping sarcasm doesn't fry my keyboard....
Recommended Posts