Guest Posted June 16, 2006 Posted June 16, 2006 First off, let me introduce myself, I'm Helena. I would also like to apologize ahead of time for the length of my message...but I really would love some advice. So please read and respond? About five or six months ago, I became pretty much best of friends with a couple I work with named Jack and Kayla. Jack's best friend was a guy named Johnny...who I thought was cute at first but nothing special. He'd always come into where we work and visit us. (We work at a restaurant.) One day Johnny decided he was absolutely smitten with me and joked that he was going to marry me. As some weird cute, funny little gesture, he and Kayla went to KMart and bought me a cheap but pretty little ring. He brought it to my work at presented it to me, then asked me if I would please hang out with him later that evening. Of course, I said yes. ;-) For the next month or two, we hung out practically every other day. I wouldn't have considered us to be totally serious but pretty close to it. It was sort of like Johnny and Jack and Kayla and I were some crazy little foursome. The truth was, I was become absolutely smitten with HIM. He's poor, but he was constantly buying me things and acting totally cute. We ended up having sex one night at a party after we'd been drinking, after about a month and a half of "dating". He stopped calling me. Cold turkey. It was so horribly embarrassing! First of all, imagine me showing my face to work to Jack and Kayla and everyone else after getting "dumped" by their extremely good friend. I was mortified...and basically heartbroken. About two MONTHS later, after occasionally and politely running into Johnny at parties, and pretty much being obsessed with him the whole time, I get a phone call. It's Johnny, calling to apologize. Of course, seeing as I'm head over heels about this jerk, I realize that I played my game well and I got my man back. So, once again, Johnny and I get into everything again, and now...get this...Kayla and I are moving into one half of a duplex and Jack and Johnny are moving into the other side. I figure it's not such a bad idea living next to someone I've had the total hots for for like, four or five months. Well, now it seems like things are dying down again. He always has his arm around me and holds my hand and stuff, but we haven't really kissed or done anything for, like, two weeks. I mean, sometimes he like, kisses my face really quick or something, or my hand. I just want to know where you all think this is going. Do you think he considers me to be his "girlfriend"? Should I ask him? I want to be cool about it. I can't be a desperate loser. (Even though I am.) Oh! And another weird thing...whenever he leaves, like, when we're at Jack and Kayla's...he just stands up and says, "I gotta go. Peace," or something equally assinine, then he just gets in his car and leaves! He doesn't like, say goodbye to me personally or anything. It's driving me crazy! I know what you're going to say...he's a player. And he probably is. But I'm mad about him. Help? Thanks. ;-) Love love love Helena
Yamaha Posted June 16, 2006 Posted June 16, 2006 Why is he so hard to read? I read him quite easily. Do the words " he's just not that into you " ring a bell. You better try to end your feelings and find someone else because I think you are a friend.
LexiB Posted June 16, 2006 Posted June 16, 2006 "Do you think he considers me to be his "girlfriend"? Should I ask him? I want to be cool about it. I can't be a desperate loser. (Even though I am.)" No I don't think he considers you his girlfriend: ...after about a month and a half of "dating". He stopped calling me. Cold turkey... ...about two MONTHS later, after occasionally and politely running into Johnny at parties, and pretty much being obsessed with him the whole time, I get a phone call... ...we haven't really kissed or done anything for, like, two weeks... ...and another weird thing...whenever he leaves, like, when we're at Jack and Kayla's...he just stands up and says, "I gotta go. Peace," or something equally assinine, then he just gets in his car and leaves! He doesn't like, say goodbye to me personally or anything... Pretty sh*tty way to treat your SO don't you think? Another thing, you let this guy have sex with you so whyyyyy wld you even entertain the idea that you cld be a "desperate loser" for asking him where your relationship stands? Personally i dont think there's anything there but if you feel the need to ask him, go for it. You have every right. Good Luck
Bobbie Posted June 19, 2006 Posted June 19, 2006 Should I ask him? I want to be cool about it. I can't be a desperate loser. (Even though I am.) what is happening in the world of dating since I got old? Can't anyone ask each other what the **** is going on in case they're not being trendy? Ask him, no tell him, and in your heart of hearts thank him for putting you on the road to not being taken for granted or messed with. *** I am so mad at the way dating has gone, with free-for-all sex and people using each other and no respect. If you want a good loving long-term relationship, forget casual sex and having to ask permission to breathe out of turn. *** Next time you're out tell him "I gotta go. Peace," and don't look back!!!
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