movinon05 Posted June 17, 2006 Posted June 17, 2006 I came her in search of help and now i feel like my puny little three months is nothing...and that i have no right to even speak here. Other than seeking help with a counselor, you really are in the right place. There's no "puny" when it comes to the heart. And you're talking to people who have been there/done that, and yes, even come out of it. Babydoll Hon there's no time limit...some of the people who post here are barely entering/comtemplating an A, while others have had one going on for a few months, or 7 yrs! You're more than welcome to post and ask for/give advice! Just to clarify - that 7 years is long over!!
movinon05 Posted June 17, 2006 Posted June 17, 2006 he didnt want to let me go he told me that he has never loved anyone even her,the way he loves me adn that he will never let me go and he will always fight for me and once he finshed doing everything that he has to take care of that he will come back to be with me.sooooo thats where i am at now adn i cant stand they way i feel we havnt talked in 3 days and i feel like im missing a part of me..but i realized that if i kept staying he wouldnt have a reason to leave..so i had to do it for me and my sanity...now i question wethere or not he will come back to be with me or not???? These are very common promises a MM makes. My MM made many - just let me take care of this and we will be together - promises. He did that for 7 years. He also told me he will NEVER let me go. You need to get out of his life. He's bought a house! Even if he gives it one more year putting her through school, do you really think he's going to walk away after that investment? He's giving you lines to keep you. Please get strong and walk away. You can do this.
Author BlahBlah Posted June 17, 2006 Author Posted June 17, 2006 Sinistervixen be thankful that you have only invested three months. I am sure your feelings are just as strong, if not stronger trust me when I say the highs & lows of 3 yrs can take their toll on the passion & the excitment! Someone pointed out that although the heart feels like this A is real it is just an A. I cant get that out of my mind!!!! Starting NC with so many questions & a bundle of frustration! I want so bad to call him back & ask why this & what about that....I know I cant, It is driving me crazy!!! How is it that I, the one that decided to start NC, am the one left with 1,000 things to say? I think, well want to think that he is going through the same things but also know that W knows (again) so his focus obviously is one fixing that right now. How does that happen? How does he spend everyday telling me he loves me, how does he introduce me to all of his friends, including their mutual friends & tell them & me how much he loves me, how does he spend so much time pushing & pulling to make sure I am as close to him as he me for when the s*** hits the fan fix everything at home??? I really do not understand it. I have asked him to not lead me down a path that he is not going to be able to walk with me down & Ill be damned!!!! I dont ask him to tell me he loves me, I dont ask him to leave, I expect so little from him UNTIL he starts in with the promises! I can only ignore so much.... Affairs are crap! I never wanted to be here & now I dont know how I am getting over the heartache of it.
Author BlahBlah Posted June 17, 2006 Author Posted June 17, 2006 The bad part is I have been here over & over again with the same man & know that it will return in time if I dont become strong enough between now & then to overcome the temptation. counseling isnt an option right now I recently was laid-off from my job : ( & no insurance! Any other pointers from any one that has been here & successfully overcome it? I need an ACTION plan : )
babydoll_mimi Posted June 17, 2006 Posted June 17, 2006 I haven't successfully overcome it, but I'm on day 11 of NC. lol... And MovinON, yeah I realize the 7 yrs are over, I was just giving her an idea of how long these A's can draw out for. Luckily I found this site pretty early in the A, and you ladies are helping me out of it. Good luck Blah.
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