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I am at wits in with my MM & I really need some help!!!!

a quick review

we have been involved for about 3 years,W found out about 1 year into it

prior to her knowing our R was very open we went out almost nightly, many over niters, I was introduced to his friends & many of his family members. After W found out he spent year # 2 moving in & out of my house, he would always return to his house "because of his children" <--- the 1st time he told me this I thought of course how hard it would be to leave your children, the 6th time he told me this I thought what a load of BS!!!!

Year # 3 we have attempted NC & during one of these attempts his W gets pregnant & as ironic as it is she gives birth to child #3 on MY BIRTHDAY!!!!

MM calls me that day & ask me to meet him 4 days later....stupid stupid me I did! Well of course there we are full force once again!!!!

Now here I am, the progress I made- ERASED completely! I am sooooo obsessed with him. When he is in my life my every thought is of him. There is no balance & I have explained this to him & he comforts me, pulling me in deeper with the I love you's & you are everything I want, blah, blah

I told him last week that I could not do this again, we decided that by 7/4 he would come to a decision & we would peacefully work through whatever we needed to. well screw 7/4 is how I feel right now!!! He has been on vacation this past week with his 2 older daughters & has called me every night & e-mailed me all day everyday....that was until last night when they got home. Then today I reminded him of a cookout that WE were suppose to attend at a friends house this weekend & his response....he thinks he's gonna have to pass! I feel like I am risking my everything while he is protecting his! I am so pisseed that I allowed my heart to open back up to this & step 1 is always so freakin hard!!!!

any advice/support would be great.

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