clamchowderz Posted June 16, 2006 Posted June 16, 2006 i sent my ex an email the other day telling her i was moving on and wishing her the best. i have made great strides in the past month since our little "break" began. She responded to my email with "wanna see a movie tomorrow?". I replied "sure, but it has to be early because im busy tomorrow tonight". I feel nauseous thinking about seeing her tomorrow. A part of me wants to see her because i feel like it would be good closure and then another part of me wonders if we did hang out would our feelings for each other come back? would we want to try again? The emotional and physical pain a breakup is almost unbareable. what should i do?
Guest Posted June 16, 2006 Posted June 16, 2006 Cancel it immediately, let me reiterate, cancel it immediately. For the love of God. If you don't, you'll be faced with a step back and you yourself said you've been healing. The healing will unravel if you meet her, do not do it.
RealBroken Posted June 16, 2006 Posted June 16, 2006 cancel she'll either beg for you back........ or that'l be it. If you do see her, while being indiffernt, make sure she gets positive vibes from you. Otherwise if she feels drained by the experience, that'l be it.
Author clamchowderz Posted June 16, 2006 Author Posted June 16, 2006 thanks for advice man am i glad i checked the boards again why you say cancel though?
Winfield Posted June 16, 2006 Posted June 16, 2006 i sent my ex an email the other day telling her i was moving on and wishing her the best. i have made great strides in the past month since our little "break" began. She responded to my email with "wanna see a movie tomorrow?". I replied "sure, but it has to be early because im busy tomorrow tonight". I feel nauseous thinking about seeing her tomorrow. A part of me wants to see her because i feel like it would be good closure and then another part of me wonders if we did hang out would our feelings for each other come back? would we want to try again? The emotional and physical pain a breakup is almost unbareable. what should i do? Don't you see? She's playing a game with you, testing you to see if your feelings about breaking up were genuine. By giving in to her invitation of going to see a movie, that gives her the impression that you're still under her "spell"...and she'll continue to play on that...until she really breaks your heart by telling you that she's moved on! Your gut instinct was telling you that things were over (you sent her the "closure" e-mail, after all)...and you've been making great strides since your break (as you say)... Well, why undo all that work you've done this past month? You're over the first hurdle (the initial break up), keep going and don't look back! Stick to your gut instinct, cancel the movie appointment, and make alternate plans with some friends on something different to do. If it hurts now, believe me, it'll hurt a lot more if you give in to her (that's why break-ups are bad). Good luck!
GW7147 Posted June 16, 2006 Posted June 16, 2006 I agree with everybody else. It seems she hasn't bothered with you up until you sent your eamil advising you were moving on. Then, all of a sudden, she sees she's losing control and tries to reel you back in. I honestly don't know how I would react if I were in your situation. I've been doing NC for the past 7 weeks and have pretty much (almost) convinced myself, my ex leaving was a blessing in disguise. I think if you're dreading seeing her and feel nauseous when you think about it, why put yourself through that. Hang with some friends, enjoy yourself and avoid the stress. Don't end up kicking yourself in the a$$ later on if you go. I wish you the best!! GW
Spiderman Posted June 16, 2006 Posted June 16, 2006 She is an ex for a reason, leave it that way. That said however, this situation has 'easy-lay' written all over it & you're a red blooded male are you not?!
overseas2004 Posted June 16, 2006 Posted June 16, 2006 Why did you break up? I dont know why these people are telling you to cancel. So lets first see what happened. Jesus.
Bex_23 Posted June 16, 2006 Posted June 16, 2006 To my mind the question you are asking is the wrong one. What you should be asking yourself is whether you want to get back together or not? The answer to this question has to be really black or white and from the heart. No maybe's no rationalising debate, simply do you want her? yes or no. If the answer is no then of course cancel and not only cancel but cease all contact and comunication. Unless childern or other serious joint responsabilities are involved in my experience it's just not worth trying to be friends. One of you nearly always hopes for more than the other, and if you could really stay friends, ie value, respect and support each other in any meaningful way surely you would still be together? Bad friends really aren't worth having. However if the answer is yes, then met up, don't have sex and try to start talking through the problems that caused he split. It may be difficult and it may be painful, but nothing worth having is easy, and love is never easy. All the best Bex
BrandonBP Posted June 16, 2006 Posted June 16, 2006 Just tap the booty and don't call her for a few days. Make her try hard to get back in touch with you then act like you've been out of touch because you've been busy with various unnamed things (she'll wonder if it's other girls). Now YOU'RE in control. She feels like you used her for a sex doll and then forgot about her. She'll go apes*** trying to get you back! Mwuhahahahahahaha!
Gunny376 Posted June 17, 2006 Posted June 17, 2006 And, in dancing the man always leads. You've got to learn how to be good at it ~ its a skill step. I don't even know why you've broke up ~ but I can tell you this ~ somewhere you didn't make the rignt moves nor take the right steps, and not your not leading. By going to the movies with her ~ your letting HER lead ~ and that's always wrong for the man. IF ~ you want to get back with this girl you've got to take the lead, make the right moves, and make the right steps ~ and re-establish the natural rhythm. With that said ~ why would want to do that? Go find you another woman ~ better yet go find you more women ~ at least two ~ and date them at the same time ~ that way you won't become so emotionally dependendt on any single one. And, the time effort, energy, money, time that you spend on two other women ~ would be about 10% of the cost of what you would have to invest in getting the x back. And, even if you get the x back ~ you still would expend about 10% of the effort on two other girls than you would the one x. Even if you get back with the X ~ get at least one ~ two other women that you've got some kind of relationship going on with. Love is the dilussion that one woman has something that all the other women in the world don't. That's your ticket right there ~ women KNOW this already. That's the reason that women tend to be so much more jealous than men ~ they know they're are numerically more women than there are men ~ they know the competition is stiff, competitive, underhanded ~ they know because they've lived it. Marriage ~ monogomy seldom if ever benefits the man ~ it benefits the woman, in keeping you tied down to one woman ~ and her children ~ be they yours or someone elses. Your problem here isn't this girl ~ woman, you're problem is that your inept at meeting, greeting, overcoming obstacles and objections, handling rejections, handling, controling the rhythm of the "courtship dance". Your problem is your "fear" that "OMG! This is my one and only chance! My one and only opportunity ~ and I can't afford to blow it!" Let me tell you something there Pal ~ there are literally BILLIONS and BILLIONS of women on the planet ~ there's not a shortage ~ if anything there's a shortage of men. Especially Good men! I don't know you from Adam ~ but I can tell you lack the necessary skill set to be successful with women. And its going to require years of hard dedicated study and work to acquire that skill set. At first you'll be a failure at it, then you'll get better, and then you'll have a couple of sucesss, and then you'll become really good at it, and then you'll become a master at it. To learn something ~ whatever ~ you need to do it for about three years, to become really good at it you need about ten ~ to become a master you need about 10 to 15. Me? I've been at it for the last sixteen years, but its only been this year that I've obtained the Zen of it. I practice and apply what I've learned about women on every woman I meet in some form or manner ~ I am forever honing my skill. And, it is very much a skill. Essential elements are confidence, attitude, persistence, mind-set, visualization, body language, posture, bearing, etc Most of all ~ patieance. There are literally women that I've been working on for ten years. I saw one in WalMart the other day ~ I've been acquainted with her for ten years. In her mind ~ she knows me ~ she's seen me around ~ I've seen her around. She's drop dead gorgroeous ~ and knows it. I was with a buddy when I saw her, she passed me ~ I passed her, and as she did so I turned and said, "Hey! You know what! You're so ugly ~ you're kind of cute!" It was in the way that I deliberablety stood, and the look on my face, my smile, the twinkle in my eye ~ the way that I delivered it. Her eyes bugged out ~ her mouth dropped ~ she KNEW I was busting on her about her beauty ~ and she knew that I didn't care if I got pass that moment with her! She knew that I was just "busting on" her natural beauty! She fell out laughing. And that was all that I was trying to accomplish was to get her to laugh! To get her to smile ~ typing this on the internet doesn't convey the moment ~ but a good time was had by all! And that's all it was ~ a moment of interchange between two people. The day you adopt the mindset that you could care less about ever having sex again is the day you'll have plenty of sex. The day that you adopt the attitude that you could care less about ever being in a relationshp again, is the day you will have more than you can handle. The day that you let go of your fear of being alone ~ you will NEVER be alone.
ButtonPusher Posted June 17, 2006 Posted June 17, 2006 Dont see her mate, it will prolong your pain. Gunny your post is hilliarious.
BrandonBP Posted June 17, 2006 Posted June 17, 2006 The day you adopt the mindset that you could care less about ever having sex again is the day you'll have plenty of sex. The day that you adopt the attitude that you could care less about ever being in a relationshp again, is the day you will have more than you can handle. I friggin HATE sex! I LOATHE relationships! I can not STAND girls! Sex and relationships and girls SUCK!
BrandonBP Posted June 17, 2006 Posted June 17, 2006 I friggin HATE sex! I LOATHE relationships! I can not STAND girls! Sex and relationships and girls SUCK! Well, it doesn't work. No hot bitches are banging down my door. I guess I'll go to bed....
RealBroken Posted June 17, 2006 Posted June 17, 2006 If u wanna get back together then CANCEL! She's freaked out over your 'moving on email' she's realised you arent waiting for her and that she could have you whenever she wanted. She now has no time, she's either IN or OUT..... or feels that way. She's testing you, if you turn up, ur saying YAY YEAH IM STILL HERE FOR U BABY AND I MISS YOU SO MUCH. Cancel just this time, let her work for you. They want the challenge and it shows that ur email was MEANT by YOU.
RealBroken Posted June 17, 2006 Posted June 17, 2006 If u feel u cant cancel.......... at least postpone it til another time OK
gfto Posted June 17, 2006 Posted June 17, 2006 i sent my ex an email the other day telling her i was moving on and wishing her the best. She responded to my email with "wanna see a movie tomorrow?". I burst out laughing when I read this. Cancel. Then, forget about her. Sending her an e-mail to tell her that you're moving on is a contradiction in itself. If you were truly moving on, you wouldn't even have her e-mail address.
Author clamchowderz Posted June 17, 2006 Author Posted June 17, 2006 lots of posts! i have deleted her email address as well as her phone number. i sent her an email saying, "sorry cant see the movie today something came up". and its been 1 day of NC. and im moving on.
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