Trimmer Posted August 3, 2006 Posted August 3, 2006 Something struck me about her reaction when I read your post yesterday, and I couldn't quite place my finger on it until today. Her reaction, at least as much as you described, was all about her and how your leaving affected her, but did she ever say anything that seemed to show that she had come to understand your feelings? From what you described, it sounded like everything was completely about her, about what she had lost, and about what she would do to get her life back the way she wanted it. Did she reveal any spark of understanding about how this had affected you? Empathy in a partner is pretty important to me. And it doesn't sound like she has shown a lot (any?) of that, even now, when it is all on the line.
WithOrWithoutYou Posted August 6, 2006 Posted August 6, 2006 Something struck me about her reaction when I read your post yesterday, and I couldn't quite place my finger on it until today. Her reaction, at least as much as you described, was all about her and how your leaving affected her, but did she ever say anything that seemed to show that she had come to understand your feelings? From what you described, it sounded like everything was completely about her, about what she had lost, and about what she would do to get her life back the way she wanted it. Did she reveal any spark of understanding about how this had affected you? Empathy in a partner is pretty important to me. And it doesn't sound like she has shown a lot (any?) of that, even now, when it is all on the line. Amen. You said what I was thinking. plainoldjared, When you truly love someone, hurting that other person is as bad or worse than hurting yourself. Her response, the way you recounted it, was all about her, not you, or even about you and her, or your relationship - just her. That should really tell you something. I have been where you are (although my GF was not a prostitute), and it is not fun. When someone you love hurts you over an over again, and the only time they even get pause is when you hurt them back (even though that was not your intention), that should really tell you something - did I say that already? Stay strong, and it will fade. Sucks, doesn't it? Don't worry, it will get better - eventually.
burning 4 revenge Posted August 6, 2006 Posted August 6, 2006 have you ever talked to the sugardaddy? what is this guy's deal? i can't stand it when i see some of these older rich guys walking around with young trophies ,bought and paid for, that everyone knows is inappropraite. can't they just get a call girl once a week, or a couple of times a month?
MrsHellFire Posted August 7, 2006 Posted August 7, 2006 First off, you can't guarantee they are not having sex. Secondly, when you are not meeting up with HER financial needs in a future marriage, likely she will turn to a sugar daddy again and justify it. Sounds like a very spoiled girl who is willing to let go of her self-respect and dignity for a quick lifestyle boost. I wouldn't trust someone like that.
Author plainoldjared Posted August 7, 2006 Author Posted August 7, 2006 trimmer & withorwithoutyou in answer to both of you, come to think of it she didnt say anything about how it made me feel other than "Im sorry I was protecting my best interests and Im sorry that it took you leaving me for good to realize what I had." Thats all swell but I just resent that she didnt do it for me so much that its just over. Im too hurt I dont trust her and I dont feel cared for so F her and her needs, well thats drastic but in all seriousness I dont want to give her a second chance no matter how much she swears she understands NOW and will change. 2long I dont have any contact info for the bastard but in all reality if I did have a number I'd call him and talk to him, I couldnt call his wife I'd feel horrible for being the bearer of bad news and she might not believe me. I just want to walk away burning revenge you know I did try talking to him once but he was too afraid/uncomfortable I dont know what his feelings were but the moment i started walking up to him he ran to his car and drove away. drove back and told me that if he saw me again he'd personally get rid of me I just told him why wait to next time get out of your car now. He didnt.
crazy_grl Posted August 7, 2006 Posted August 7, 2006 I think you made a wise decision, Jared. I agree with the person who said you don't really love her but your image of her. Her willingness to accept money from a SugarDaddy and her need to have a man take care of her financially shows a lot about who he is. It hurts now, but it'll get better. Stay strong.
Author plainoldjared Posted August 8, 2006 Author Posted August 8, 2006 I think you made a wise decision, Jared. I agree with the person who said you don't really love her but your image of her. Her willingness to accept money from a SugarDaddy and her need to have a man take care of her financially shows a lot about who he is. It hurts now, but it'll get better. Stay strong. I think I finally get what everyone meant by Im in love with the image of her. I was assuming that you all thought I was in love with the sex, but just to clear it up it was never the sex. I was in love with who she told me she was I was in love with the way she treated me when she wanted to be nice (I know now it was to get something in return) and I wanted to believe that she really was that amazing person and I wanted to believe that she deserved my patience and understanding. But I was fooled and Im never ever letting anyone toy with me like that, Im just struggling because she wont leave me alone and she knows exactly what to say and how to say it.
norajane Posted August 8, 2006 Posted August 8, 2006 I think you are doing a wonderful thing for yourself, and you should be really proud that you have so much clarity on this now. If I were you, I'd block her calls, block her emails, block her completely out of your life. Do not talk to her at all - don't return any messages, don't have anything to do with her. It will be easier for you to put this behind you. You do have control over this - she's trying to manipulate you into taking her back (and you seem to recognize that - good for you!), but you have control. You don't have to respond to her in any way.
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