Dave07 Posted June 15, 2006 Posted June 15, 2006 So I finally went on this date w/ this girl. I took her to a pool hall. Lets just say pool halls are a bad idea for a first date. We spent about an half hour there and then left. We drove around for an hour and talked, she showed me her old neighborhood and the house her dad was buying. I then took her over to my house and we got something to drink. After that we decided we were both tired and that I should take her home. So I did and I told her that I was sorry, that the pool hall sucked, but I had a fun time talking to her. She laughed and said how she kicked my ass in pool which she didn't. Anyway this girl is like a 10 and I was so nervous, and I would freeze up and not know what to say at the pool hall. Which is defiantly weird for me cause that never ever happens. I ended up calling her this morning and talking to her a little bit, so that was good. But I need to get over this nervousness, because I'm not acting like myself, even before I call her I get all nervous and I can't act myself. And the whole reason she likes me is because of my personality. Any tips on how to improve my nervousness? Seriously, I'm so chill all the time and this is a first for me and I dont know how to overcome it. My guess is that its Love...or I hope it is.
j.carsey Posted June 15, 2006 Posted June 15, 2006 I'll tell you about a worse first date. Were in a beautiful resort city, warm waether, beach. Started visiting different cafes and having drinks, talking for like hours. Then we went to a club and started drinking there, except I had a momentary lapse and she paid for some drinks. She handed over a large bill but the bartender was crooked, pretended like he didn't get a large bill. I started fighting with the guy and the fight kept going until closing. We left without getting the money back. She was pissed off that she lost the money, more importantly that I would let this happen. Killed the mood. Guys always pay for drinks.
Author Dave07 Posted June 15, 2006 Author Posted June 15, 2006 That sucks man, sounds like you had it worst than me. Anyway, i still need to get over my nervousness, any suggestions?
j.carsey Posted June 15, 2006 Posted June 15, 2006 Um the pool hall experience doesn't sound that bad. You shouldn't have apologized for it sucking though. From what you describe it sounded like a pretty decent night I'd suggest for a next date, make sure you go somewhere you can relax and be yourself. Familiar and comfortable atmosphere is always good. You need to feel in control because when you feel like that you will reflect confidence and that always impresses girls. If you want to try going someplace new I suggest scoping out the area before hand, go on a fact finding mission!
gfto Posted June 15, 2006 Posted June 15, 2006 A pool hall is a great idea for a first date. If it didn't go well, then there's something else going wrongly. We know you're head over heels for her. But, we don't know how she feels about you, i.e., HER interest level, which is the only thing that matters. What specifically went wrong at the pool hall? Who's idea was it to leave the pool hall and drive around? Who suggested that you take her on home? (It couldn't have been a mutual decision. One of you had to suggest it first.)
Author Dave07 Posted June 16, 2006 Author Posted June 16, 2006 I suggested that we should leave the pool hall to go get some ice cream, cause she couldn't play pool and she didn't look like she was having fun, neither was I. We got off the off ramp and we remembered the ice cream shop had closed. So she suggested that we go and see her old neighborhood were she grew up, and her new house that her dad is buying. I also decided to take her home, I asked her what she wanted to do Ie rent a movie, go to the movies, etc... she says, "What ever you want to do" , That really helped(plus there is not much to do on wensday nights)...she looked tired so I just decided to take her home. One more thing I dont understand, I asked her if she wanted help getting car parts(cause her headlamp is broke) and she says sure, I told her to call me before she goes out to Pep boys or whatever, and she says, NO, just call me. I'm like wtf?!? She did it a couple of more times when I talked to her on phone before our date. I'm guessing she wants me to take charge correct?
j.carsey Posted June 16, 2006 Posted June 16, 2006 Oh man. "Whatever you want to do" she says? Next time you see that opportunity you had better kiss her. Yeah take charge, she's not shutting you down you've got great chances here.
gfto Posted June 16, 2006 Posted June 16, 2006 I suggested that we should leave the pool hall to go get some ice cream, cause she couldn't play pool and she didn't look like she was having fun, neither was I. We got off the off ramp and we remembered the ice cream shop had closed. So she suggested that we go and see her old neighborhood were she grew up, and her new house that her dad is buying. I also decided to take her home, I asked her what she wanted to do Ie rent a movie, go to the movies, etc... she says, "What ever you want to do" , That really helped(plus there is not much to do on wensday nights)...she looked tired so I just decided to take her home. One more thing I dont understand, I asked her if she wanted help getting car parts(cause her headlamp is broke) and she says sure, I told her to call me before she goes out to Pep boys or whatever, and she says, NO, just call me. I'm like wtf?!? She did it a couple of more times when I talked to her on phone before our date. I'm guessing she wants me to take charge correct? You definitely need to be more assertive on a date. You should never be asking her during the date what she wants to do. You need to have a plan. I'm getting a gut feeling that this girl is not that into you. But, you have to do everything right in order to determine her interest level, and you're making some mistakes. First of all, stay off the phone. The phone is for making dates, and that's it. Don't call to chit chat before the date. Secondly, it was a mistake to offer to help her with the car parts. You want to be her boyfriend, not her mechanic. You don't even really know this girl yet. By offering to help her with the car after only one date, you're getting into the "nice guy" zone, which is a huge turn-off. You have to be a challenge. So, at this point, call and make a date. At the end of the date, kiss her on the lips (nothing hot and heavy; just a peck). This will tell you her interest level. If it lands on her lips, you might have something. If she turns her head, then you simply flush her number and move on to the next girl.
Author Dave07 Posted June 16, 2006 Author Posted June 16, 2006 So you think I should call her and schedule another date? One problem I'm leaving on Sunday to go to Jamaica for a week. Should I call her before I leave or when I get back?
ashnicole Posted June 16, 2006 Posted June 16, 2006 So you think I should call her and schedule another date? One problem I'm leaving on Sunday to go to Jamaica for a week. Should I call her before I leave or when I get back? Call her before you leave. Tell her you want to see her one more time before you leave for a week. That's kind of romantic/sweet.
Author Dave07 Posted June 16, 2006 Author Posted June 16, 2006 I would like to do that, but she is baby siting until 11:30pm on Saturday, and she works in the afternoon. I will probably have to wait to see her after my vacation.
ashnicole Posted June 16, 2006 Posted June 16, 2006 I would like to do that, but she is baby siting until 11:30pm on Saturday, and she works in the afternoon. I will probably have to wait to see her after my vacation. Atleast she has something to do, and a reason why she can't, instead of just saying no, just because.
Author Dave07 Posted June 16, 2006 Author Posted June 16, 2006 Yea, thats true. But do you think I should call her tomorrow and set up a date for the week I get back from vacation? She is having a graduation party on the 25, and she said I could come if I wanted too, but she said it was going to be lame cause it is with her family she barely knows. Whats your opinion on that?
ashnicole Posted June 16, 2006 Posted June 16, 2006 Yea, thats true. But do you think I should call her tomorrow and set up a date for the week I get back from vacation? She is having a graduation party on the 25, and she said I could come if I wanted too, but she said it was going to be lame cause it is with her family she barely knows. Whats your opinion on that? If she thinks it's going to be lame, go with her. Show her a good time. Show her that even in "lame" situations, you can make it fun. I'm sure she would appreciate that. But no, don't call her before you go and try to plan something - that will make you look a little too eager. Just talk to her while you're gone, call her whenever, and then, when time gets closer for you to come back (a day or two before) THEN see if she wants to hang out when you get back. She'll know you were thinking about her, but you don't look too over-eager.
Author Dave07 Posted June 16, 2006 Author Posted June 16, 2006 I like that, that is what I'm going to do. Thanks for the advice. I gtg, need to get ready for work. But Thanks Everyone for Your Advice!
ashnicole Posted June 16, 2006 Posted June 16, 2006 I like that, that is what I'm going to do. Thanks for the advice. I gtg, need to get ready for work. But Thanks Everyone for Your Advice! You're welcome. Good luck & let us know what happens!
gfto Posted June 16, 2006 Posted June 16, 2006 I'd call her on Wednesday and ask for a Sunday date. (Just because you're on vacation doesn't mean you can't call her and make a date for when you get back.) Calling her before you leave and telling her you'd like to see her before you leave is gonna make you look very very eager. That would be cool if you had five or six months in with her and you were exclusive. But, this early in the game, it's gonna look kind of needy, which will turn her off. Whatever you do, good luck!
Author Dave07 Posted June 16, 2006 Author Posted June 16, 2006 Well, her graduation party is on Sunday. Should I still call her and ask her if she wants to do something on that Sunday? Or should I play dumb and see if she invites me to her grad party? THen go?
gfto Posted June 16, 2006 Posted June 16, 2006 Well, her graduation party is on Sunday. Should I still call her and ask her if she wants to do something on that Sunday? Or should I play dumb and see if she invites me to her grad party? THen go? Ask for Monday or Tuesday. If she specifically invites you to come to her grad party, then go. Don't bring it up though. (Her "you can come to my party if you want to but it's gonna be lame" comment is lukewarm, at best, and doesn't sound like a sincere invitation.)
sodakki_lov Posted June 17, 2006 Posted June 17, 2006 u should jus go ahead and ask her, girls like it when guys make the first moves, even if it was her graduation party. U can ask casually like "so who's goin wif u for ur graduation party?" she wil invite u if she wans u to be there.
Author Dave07 Posted June 17, 2006 Author Posted June 17, 2006 Sounds good, Now I just got to figure out where I'm going to take her...Any suggestions?
ashnicole Posted June 17, 2006 Posted June 17, 2006 Sounds good, Now I just got to figure out where I'm going to take her...Any suggestions? Somewhere that you guys can talk and get to know eachother. Not somewhere like a pool hall. ;D Coffee shops are always nice. Or, if she's hungry, maybe try a good restaurant - ask her what her favorite type of food is, and take her there.
sodakki_lov Posted June 20, 2006 Posted June 20, 2006 Figure out what kinda gal is she first, u wil reali gt into her gd books if she enjoys the places u 2 go together. If u dont hav n idea u could take her to an amusement park, i tink its a great dating place whether ur old or young.
Author Dave07 Posted June 25, 2006 Author Posted June 25, 2006 I called her when I was on vacation. I asked her if she wanted to hang out monday or tuesday and she said yes. I just need to call her today and find out which day is better for her, and I need to figure out what we are going to do.
gfto Posted June 25, 2006 Posted June 25, 2006 I called her when I was on vacation. I asked her if she wanted to hang out monday or tuesday and she said yes. I just need to call her today and find out which day is better for her, and I need to figure out what we are going to do. Dave, when you call a girl for a date, you have to be specific! Don't say "want to hang out Monday or Tuesday?" You have to say, "would you like to have dinner at [fill in the restaurant] on Monday night?" That way, her answer will reveal her interest level in you, and it shows that you have some confidence. If she likes you, she'll either say "yes," or she'll make a counter-offer. Any other answer means she isn't that into you (for example, "well, maybe, let me get back to you"). But, by leaving it open-ended, as you did, you're setting yourself up for being jerked around. In other words, when you say to a girl, "would you like to hang out sometime next week?" she can say "sure," but it really doesn't mean anything, because you didn't make a specific offer.
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