She says she misses me, but doesn't think we should be involved anymore. What am I su

[bngo16]

I met this girl two years ago when we were freshmen in university. Soon afterwards we became really good friends and I developed feelings for her. I had enough courage to ask her out at the beginning of the year. In fact, I found out by this time that she had liked me for a while too and soon we were dating and then got together. She’s the conservative type of person. She doesn’t trust people that easily and she doesn’t like to get people involved in her problems.

Things were going great for 3 months, but about four days ago we broke up. We’ve been seeing each other still because it’s finals week and we get together to study for the same classes.

Her reason for wanting to break up with me is because she’s going through some issues and feels that it is better if we were just friends. She also told me that she doesn’t think we understand each other and that she also gets the vibe that we’re not right for each other.

I figured that she’s going through some issues and needs some time alone and she needs a good friend right now. I also figured that the reason why she broke up with me is because it would make her problems less complicated because if I wasn’t involved, I wouldn’t get hurt (she actually confirmed this).

So last night I told her how, by leaving me aside as just a friend, it’s really hurting me because I feel that I can’t completely help her if she doesn’t allow me too as oppose to being her boyfriend. She told me earlier yesterday before I told her how I felt that she felt she was missing something.

I spent the night with her because she has roommate issues too and didn’t want to go back to her apartment. In the middle of the night she woke up (I was studying at the time because I have a final today) and she told me she knew what she was missing. She said it was me, she said she wanted to be together again. Afterwards I asked her if that was what she was really looking for (because I thought she might have just made this excuse to make me feel better and that she might mistaken this feeling of missing me for something else). Then she just told me to forget it and just be friends with her. Actually I’m chatting online with her and she told me that she only told me that because she doesn’t know how I feel. I’m going to go over to her place right now and comfort her because I know she’s hurt. My question is:

 

What should I do now? Am I doing the right things or should we just let go because it's hurting the both of us?

 

Summary (cause I know people don’t like to read, but please do):

 

She broke up with me because :

1. Has issues right now (might not want me involved)

2. Feels like we don’t understand each other and that it’s not right

Between us

 

Told me last night:

1.She misses me and want to be together, but is hurt because I asked

Her if she was sure about that feeling.

 

Thank you everyone.

[Winfield]

My opinion - leave her alone right now, and let one of her other friends comfort her. By hanging around, you're not giving her the chance to re-evaluate things...by leaving her alone for a while, this will let her see how things really would be if you weren't around. You suspect she needs some time alone, and I think this would be the right thing to do.

 

She's got issues, she wants to make a few changes in her life (unfortunately your relationship being one such thing). If it's you she really wants, she'll come back to you...but don't push her into making that decision (especailly not now as it's too soon).

 

Before you wrote it in your original post, I knew that she'd say the missing thing was you. But her actions seem kind of confusing just now, saying she wants you one minute, then when you bring up the subject matter, she tells you to forget it...

 

I'd have done the same as you (asking her if getting back together is what she really wanted). But, it's not just about her - this is about you too! Do you want to get back together with her? I can't understand how she can be hurt by your asking though - I mean, you want to make sure as well as she does, don't you?

 

It's bad enough if you can't ask a question which relates to you both! But then again, maybe it's because she's got a lot on her plate just now...

 

Leave her be for a while to work things out for herself, then see where things stand. Good luck!