stressed eric Posted June 15, 2006 Posted June 15, 2006 well for all my life i have been straight as arrow. naked men or gay sex never did anything for me. i jacked off for years off straight porn. and a lot of it as well, often hours in a day. and last year i was madly in love with this cute and beautiful girl, which was unreturned(which technically means it wasnt love supposedly). that lasted long also. i have never succeeded with girls so this is nothing new, although this was the first time i was ever actually in love. im 18 by the way. and now, within the past month or maybe more, i have been becoming so gay it is distressing me, as it is very confusing. i have really dirty fantasies about orgies in dark locker rooms, and coming on a guys torso. plus, recently i have been watching so much gay porn and nowadays straight porn doesn't turn me on much! this is unbelievable, what the f*** is going on? another problem is i dont feel emotionally attached to guys, i just admire their muscular bodies and dicks, and think of sex with them. before, i had no reaction whatsoever to gay porn, it was just boring. and now it makes me very horny. this is not the big problem, the bigger problem is that women make me so much less horny. i want to feel sexually attracted to them the same again! I want to like them much more than men. i dont like men, i like women so why is this s*** happening to me? what do i do? im sure i havent explained this 100% properly even if you are sure i have(it is complicated), this is because my mind is in a swirl. i am very stressed about this!
SoleMate Posted June 15, 2006 Posted June 15, 2006 I don't know for sure, but I am suspecting one of two things: 1) You really do have some gay tendencies that were previously latent and are now emerging, or 2) Your use of gay porn has trained you to be focussed on men for sexual stimulation ...the bigger problem is that I want to feel sexually attracted to [women] again! Well, I would definitely cut out the gay porn if I were you. It really could be guiding your thoughts. Of course, there was a reason you picked it up in the first place. Some people think there is a continuum of sexual orientation. A man isn't just 100% straight or 100% gay. Also, orientation/tendencies are one thing; expression and behavior are another. You are at an age where your sex drive is very strong, and I'm sure you've learned that it is difficult to find a female with whom to satisfy that drive. On the other hand, finding male sex partners will be as easy as falling off a log. I believe that it would be easy for you to fall into a pattern of gay behavior that might prove rewarding in the short term, but take you the wrong direction in the long term. Info on this topic that attempts to be balanced is hard to come buy. I had to go all the way to Singapore for this link: http://www.plu.sg/main/facts_03.htm Keep posting.
j.carsey Posted June 15, 2006 Posted June 15, 2006 The first thing is, like solemate said, most (scientists anyway) believe there is a range of sexuality between pure hetero and pure homosexual. The boundaries between gay and straight aren't black and white and maybe even the degree of it can change over life. You are young, you haven't lived for too long. Some straight women also have phases where they are attracted to other women to the point they might fool around with a girlfriend. Also women generally speaking can perceive what is physically attractive about women's bodies (men resist thinking this about other men). Most women's eyes skim over other hot ladies' bodies when they walk by and they definitely appreciate what a "hot" naked woman looks like. Maybe the kind of thing you're experiencing is a bit parallel to this but with a little more overt sexuality because, well, we're men and we tend to think more explicitly. My main suggestion would be to stop with the porn. Porn images and scenarios are so artificial, both straight and gay. You get in a habit of jerking off a lot to images and you lose touch with sexuality in the real world. Because with porn you're kind of training yourself to get off to certain things. And I have the same criticism about heterosexual porn So try to quit the porn, jerk off to whatever makes you comfortable and try not to get stressed or guilty about what you're doing or thinking. Spend more time outside with other people. I must admit there are periods when I too have less-than-hetero thoughts, and I get off on different ideas but I learned not to feel guilty about it. Really, ironically, that's what helped me the most ... avoid guilty feelings. Most of the time I am back in a purely hetero mood and every girl I run into is turning me on. So it can come and go, but if you are free of guilt then you will be happy and sexually satisfied ALL of the time no matter which part of that hetero-homo spectrum you land at
j.carsey Posted June 15, 2006 Posted June 15, 2006 oh and... you should hesitate before trying any real-world sexual activity. There is more promiscuity and danger that comes with homosexual sex not to mention an unhealthy "underground" (sex, drugs) that could land you in trouble Not only that but while you are still discovering your sexuality it's quite possible you will find out you are definitely straight, even though the odd gay thought crosses your mind (most people). In that case the gay sex early in life would be a bad move P.S. don't know if this helps you at all, but I've met more than one woman who actually gets off on "men-on-men"
Author stressed eric Posted June 16, 2006 Author Posted June 16, 2006 well im starting to think maybe i know why. ive always been turned on by things that are wrong, guilty or "naughty". like i always had fantasies about my sister. she is very sexy, beautiful curves and ass and cute face. eventually the taboo thing wore off in my head. i dont know if this is the same thing, but i think it might be, because partially the feeling that makes me attracted to it, is the weird feeling i get in my gut, like a "oh my god this is wrong but i cant help myself" thing. because it is something i would not want certain people to know about is what i like about it. similarly i used to like bizarre bodypart fetishes like foot fetish porn and rimjobs, but only with really pretty lesbians, i never liked seeing a guy in it. sometimes i thought about young teens(not children though).
SoleMate Posted June 17, 2006 Posted June 17, 2006 OK, that makes sense. Please do be aware that many/most people have fantasies, including some that are QUITE outlandish. (I'm not going to be listing mine here.) Hetero people can and do have homosexual fantasies. And outside the sexual area, non-suicidal people may walk across a bridge and fantasize jumping off of it. These fantasies are not considered a problem as long as all of the following are true: * You can clearly distinguish fantasy from reality (i.e. you do not start thinking that women enjoy being raped) * You do not act on any harmful fantasy (e.g. incest, sex with minors, jumping off a bridge, etc.) * You are able to have ordinary sexual relations at the appropriate time and with the appropriate (consenting adult) person * You are in control of your sexual behavior at all times Once again, you are a teenage boy and sex typically will fill most of your waking thoughts. Don't give these passing thoughts more importance than they deserve. Hope this helps.
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