Zeppelin456 Posted June 14, 2006 Posted June 14, 2006 So I just got a call from my ex...We haven't seen one another in six months and spoken in about four...We dated very happily for almost two years and then she ended it, essentially claiming she was moving on to bigger and better. I was severly messed up after the breakup for a while but began to heal myself and have been feeling decent for the last few months, mainly due to my extreme NC (blocking her off in every way). The disadvantage is that I now fear even running into her or seeing any physical evidence of her in anyway. SO... of course, she just now called me and I let it go to my voicemail, which now tells me I have one new message...should I call back? listen? just delete the message and keep moving on? i'm tempted to at least listen to the message but I know there is nothing that I want to even hear on that message (I wouldn't even want a reconciliation anymore, she's certainly not the same person I fell in love with).
2020vision Posted June 14, 2006 Posted June 14, 2006 I was in the same boat. Delete the message ASAP and do NOT listen. Delete it now so you don't have to debate about it anymore!
Pyro Posted June 14, 2006 Posted June 14, 2006 Do not listen to it. You have done such a good job with the NC. Just hearing her voice or what she has to say may remind you of the break-up in a way that will only depress you. Stay on the high road of NC and do not look back, because it will get better.
Author Zeppelin456 Posted June 14, 2006 Author Posted June 14, 2006 annnnnnnnnd...I fail. I didn't listen to the advice and listened to the message. I feel okay now though. I think alot of this is me building it up in my head...it wasn't a big deal. She wants to talk. Now that sparks a whole NEW debate (one which runs rampant on this board)...
Pyro Posted June 14, 2006 Posted June 14, 2006 annnnnnnnnd...I fail. I didn't listen to the advice and listened to the message. I feel okay now though. I think alot of this is me building it up in my head...it wasn't a big deal. She wants to talk. Now that sparks a whole NEW debate (one which runs rampant on this board)... DO NOT talk to her. Just think back to the time when you were severely messed up. Talking to her may bring those feelings back to you. The final decision is yours but I highly recommend NC.
Big_A Posted June 14, 2006 Posted June 14, 2006 http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t56954/ Read it again. Consider very carefully what she might want to talk about, I bet it will not be good. Also consider very carefully what your motivations are behind talking to her. Why would you want to risk yourself like that? Good luck.
2020vision Posted June 14, 2006 Posted June 14, 2006 annnnnnnnnd...I fail. I didn't listen to the advice and listened to the message. I feel okay now though. I think alot of this is me building it up in my head...it wasn't a big deal. She wants to talk. Now that sparks a whole NEW debate (one which runs rampant on this board)... She is going to dissappoint you, trust me. Don't look back, only forward.
Author Zeppelin456 Posted June 15, 2006 Author Posted June 15, 2006 Thanks everyone. I talked it over with a friend and thought about it and I really think there is no reason to respond. She says we have some things we should talk about but I don't really have anything I need to talk about with her anymore. For once now, I'm back in the position of power where I'm the one who can decide on contact or not. It feels good and I think I'm just going to leave it at this...not because I mean to offend her but just because I don't care if I do or not.
miranda beverly Posted June 15, 2006 Posted June 15, 2006 If you do not meet up with her, then good job. I wish I was as strong as you. Truth is, I followed my ex around for a while constantly hoping and waiting that anything we talked about would be what I wanted to hear. It just hurt me all over again and I'm still so messed up right now. I have actually only had NC with him only a week. I wish it has been months. I just want to be ok again. I wish I could be at the point you are at now.
Tim'sAngel Posted June 15, 2006 Posted June 15, 2006 Thanks everyone. I talked it over with a friend and thought about it and I really think there is no reason to respond. She says we have some things we should talk about but I don't really have anything I need to talk about with her anymore. For once now, I'm back in the position of power where I'm the one who can decide on contact or not. It feels good and I think I'm just going to leave it at this...not because I mean to offend her but just because I don't care if I do or not. As a women, and this is JMO, the only time I've ever called an ex for the "We need to talk" talk, I always had an alterior motive. She prolly has alot of unanswered questions and this is her way of getting them, and seeing if you still had feelings for her. If you truely do not want to get sucked back into the relationship, or want to keep those hurtful yet powerful emotions back, I suggest you do not contact her, because we women know how to evoke your emotions.
Diver012 Posted June 15, 2006 Posted June 15, 2006 As a women' date=' and this is JMO, the only time I've ever called an ex for the "We need to talk" talk, I always had an alterior motive. She prolly has alot of unanswered questions and this is her way of getting them, and seeing if you still had feelings for her. If you truely do not want to get sucked back into the relationship, or want to keep those hurtful yet powerful emotions back, I suggest you do not contact her, because we women know how to evoke your emotions. [/quote'] hehe that aint no lie... :bunny:
Author Zeppelin456 Posted June 15, 2006 Author Posted June 15, 2006 Day 2, I still haven't called back. What's so difficult about this is that after over four months of completely blocking her out in every way, she became less of a real person and more of just something in my imagination. The danger then of going so hardcore on NC is that it's somewhat jarring to come to the realization that the person does still exist. Last night I wanted to call but I just decided it's not worth it. For me, it's also difficult because it wasn't a messy breakup and it was hard for both of us. I don't harbor any particular ill will towards her, although I'm mad at her lack of compassion for how difficult it has been for me (e.g. she asked me a week after she dumped me if I was over her yet). If I could hate her, it would be easier not to call back but to some extent, I feel like I'm just being an ass. That said, I know that the ball is (finally!) in my court again and I'm choosing to just stay the course.
miranda beverly Posted June 15, 2006 Posted June 15, 2006 ......What's so difficult about this is that after over four months of completely blocking her out in every way, she became less of a real person and more of just something in my imagination. The danger then of going so hardcore on NC is that it's somewhat jarring to come to the realization that the person does still exist. ...... Yeah, I know how you feel. Stay strong. I wish I had even one of your balls. (uh, meaning I have none.)
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