Breed Posted June 14, 2006 Posted June 14, 2006 Hey all, been a while! I've been with my girlfriend "J" for 6 months now, and we're getting along brilliantly. We talk, we share, we make love, we f**k like rabbits, we laugh...we're basically awesome together and a lot of our friends say we make a perfect couple. Our sex life is still very active, we see eachother every day and she usually sleeps over mien unless she has work early in the morning so i'd say we do the naughty about 1-4 times a day depending on constraints etc. Whilst the sex is good, no sorry, it's great, it's starting to get a little bit samey, you know? We've introduced toys pretty much from the get-go and recently ive started whispering dirty stories/fantasies in her ear whilst we make love. We both liek a little light bondage, you know cuffs and blindfold to make it a little special on occasions, but something bothers me. Whilst shes a great lover, she refuses to do things like anal, or let me cum on her face/in her mouth. Before you start calling me an a**h*** for being insensitive to her feelings, just know that i'm truly in love with her and i do everything, EVERYTHING in my power to make her happy. I even dressed up in a Firemans outfit! (Please don't laugh! ) I'm a frequent reader of John Grays "Men are from mars, women are from venus" and other books such as "Lover and Provider" and "How to be the perfect partner" and other such books that help me understand her needs and i do my best to find the happy medium between keeping her happy and keeping her keen. I'm just finding it hard to see why...i dunno, she gives so much and so do i, i guess im lucky but it's only natural to want a little more? I've always implemented anal penetrative sex in past relationships with great success, but even though last month she said we would try anal nothing has happened, and when i bring up the subject she avoids it entirely. I am lucky really, just recently we talked and she said becuase our bond is so strong that now during sex i can be a lil rougher with her and call her bad names etc as she knows i don't mean them and even though she doesnt enjoy it a huge amount she knows it excietd me and strokes my ego, its just that anal is just so amazing i really want to share it with her! I can live without the cumming on her face fantasy, i guess i just...i dont know really, am i being unfair? I guess what im asking is am i expecting too much? Is there a way to better approach the situation? All thoughts positive and negative are welcome, please try and keep it friendly if possible though Oh and girls, have you had similar experiences where guys have wanted these things? Was it that you were afraid to lose him if you gave him everything he wanted? or you didnt want to be objectionilised(spelling?)? I really appriciate everyones thoughts, thank you in advance
catgirl1927 Posted June 14, 2006 Posted June 14, 2006 Uh, anal and cumming in her mouth aren't going to make it more enjoyable for her. And anal isn't as "amazing" for everyone. Being penetrated in that way can be extremely painful.
dgiirl Posted June 14, 2006 Posted June 14, 2006 I even dressed up in a Firemans outfit! (Please don't laugh! ) lol sorry, when you put the clause in, i couldnt help it. I can live without the cumming on her face fantasy, i guess i just...i dont know really, am i being unfair? I think it's natural to want to do things that will bring you pleasure, however, I think your concentrating too much on what you want, and not enough on what she wants. If she's NOT comfortable doing these things, then if you keep nagging at her, she'll either blow up and get angry at you, or do it out of guilt or pity. Will you really enjoy it if it's out of guilt? It sounds like you have a good thing going, dont ruin it. Respect her comfort zone and let the issue go.
norajane Posted June 14, 2006 Posted June 14, 2006 Your fantasies - anal and cumming in her mouth - aren't necessarily going to match up with her fantasies, so you have to take that into consideration. For example, what if her fantasy was to penetrate your ass with a huge dildo? Would you be up for that? There's nothing wrong with experimenting, but if she's not into it, then it's going to suck for her and be a bad experience for you, and it will ultimately make the bedroom an anxiety-filled place for the both of you. If you want to add more to your sex life, talk with her about her fantasies and see if you can start there. Maybe she's always wanted a g-spot orgasm and would like to try, or maybe you can start playing with her ass by just touching it with a finger or your tongue while giving her oral? Read some erotic stories together and find out what her turn-ons are...
j.carsey Posted June 15, 2006 Posted June 15, 2006 Whilst shes a great lover, she refuses to do things like anal, or let me cum on her face/in her mouth. Nothing unusual there, at all. And if she absolutely doesn't want it, then it's not going to bring her pleasure and you shouldn't do it. I was told similar rules by my last two partners We settled for cumming pretty much everywhere else on her body
Lishy Posted June 15, 2006 Posted June 15, 2006 If my guy wanted to cum in my face and have anal sex and he knew I didnt want to yet he kept bringing it up, it would ruin sex with him for me! How can anyone want to do something the other person is uncomfortable with? Also, if she let you what would you THEN want to do to? She is your girlfriend not a porn star!
einahpets Posted June 18, 2006 Posted June 18, 2006 imo anal and coming on her face is peanuts. you have a sex life that a lot of people wish they had. consider yourself lucky.
ashnicole Posted June 30, 2006 Posted June 30, 2006 I think she has every right to not let you stick your dick in her ass... if that's not something that she wants to do, and I don't think you have any right to try to "talk her into it." If she says no, leave it at that... if this is something that is REALLY going to cause problems in your relationship, if it doesn't happen, then you need to leave now... because you're not IN LOVE with her... you're more in it for the sexual pleasures. I'm sorry, but if someone told me that they were in love with me, and then try to pressure me into doing anal... when I already said no once, or even twice.. I can't say I'd believe them. -shrug- Maybe I'm getting too far into this, but honestly... she said no, she obviously doesn't want to... leave it alone.
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