Cheating with a partner of the same sex whilst in a hetro relationship

[Spiderman]

I had a rather random conversation today, the upshot of which was the following:

• Why is it that the idea of a woman in a heterosexual relationship being intimate with another women is often relatively acceptable, if not arousing, to their corresponding partners? Why is the reversal involving the partner with another man generally less acceptable to the woman?
  
• Why is it that some men don't regard their girlfriend kissing other women as cheating yet if they kissed another man it would be a serious offence?
  
• Do men and women have different attitudes towards cheating and does this result in some hypocrisy in the actions of either?

[Chump64]

Excellent question. I think there's a lot of reverse sexism involved. Men are supposed to be "manly," and want to have sex with women. Women are softer and more attractive and it's somehow more acceptable for them to behave in bisexual ways. Like you said, woman-to-woman sex is a turn-on for most men, while man-to-man sex is definitely not a turn-on for most people. I think a lot of it boils down to societal expectations and stereotypes.

[a4a]

 

This just popped up today in a conversation I was having... it is ok for a woman to have a PA with a woman because the man is turned out and thinks it may be possible for him to get in the middle of it........ This is the opinion of one man I spoke with today.

 

Also it is known that male gay sex is evil..... lesbian sex is ok because they are expressing their deep friendship feeling and emotional connection through their sexual acts........ :lmao: man on man sex is just for sex and is a absolute sin!!! Men cannot love each other!!

 

Now ask how many men that had their female SO's snatched away from them by a lesbian if they think a physical affair between their spouse and another woman is ok...... it can actually be more damaging to the mind I think than a hetero affair. IMHO.

[Buttaflyy]

I had a rather random conversation today, the upshot of which was the following:

• Why is it that the idea of a woman in a heterosexual relationship being intimate with another women is often relatively acceptable, if not arousing, to their corresponding partners? Why is the reversal involving the partner with another man generally less acceptable to the woman?
  
• Why is it that some men don't regard their girlfriend kissing other women as cheating yet if they kissed another man it would be a serious offence?
  
• Do men and women have different attitudes towards cheating and does this result in some hypocrisy in the actions of either?

I think the real issue is sexuality. Some men find women together to be sexy. They don't equate it as actual sex either (for obvious reasons), and for that reason they may not be intimidated my another woman.

I said some men because my SO is not one of those men who would be cool with a situation like this. I've had bisexual female friends hit on me and he would flip out! In his mind that too is consider cheating.

 

Now if we switch the scenario to man/man. By society's standards (or mine if this was my SO ) this is not considered to be sexy or appealing.

[Buttaflyy]

I had a rather random conversation today, the upshot of which was the following:

• Why is it that the idea of a woman in a heterosexual relationship being intimate with another women is often relatively acceptable, if not arousing, to their corresponding partners? Why is the reversal involving the partner with another man generally less acceptable to the woman?
  
• Why is it that some men don't regard their girlfriend kissing other women as cheating yet if they kissed another man it would be a serious offence?
  
• Do men and women have different attitudes towards cheating and does this result in some hypocrisy in the actions of either?

I think the real issue is sexuality. Some men find women together to be sexy. They don't equate it as actual sex either (for obvious reasons), and for that reason they may not be intimidated my another woman.

I said some men because my SO is not one of those men who would be cool with a situation like this. I've had bisexual female friends hit on me and he would flip out! In his mind that too is considered cheating.

 

Now if we switch the scenario to man/man. By society's standards (or mine if this was my SO ) this is not considered to be sexy or appealing. You don't really hear too much about openly bisexual men dating women who know that they are bisexual. This is not accepted with men by most.

[UnknowingOW]

My EX H is bi-sexual...mind you he didn't tell me. I found out. Today's he is living with his SO of 7-years a male and he's HIV+.

 

What is odd about all this was, when D-day occured he only admitted to the men. It was not until 8-years later did he tell me there were women every day. He thought if I knew about the women I wouldn't get over all the affairs he had. (He's a SA)...whatever. Like i said to him years ago, doesn't matter man or woman...cheating is cheating.

[Tim'sAngel]

How did you get those lil black dots on your post??

 

(sorry, I know this is off topic)

[Buttaflyy]

My EX H is bi-sexual...mind you he didn't tell me. I found out. Today's he is living with his SO of 7-years a male and he's HIV+.

 

What is odd about all this was, when D-day occured he only admitted to the men. It was not until 8-years later did he tell me there were women every day. He thought if I knew about the women I wouldn't get over all the affairs he had. (He's a SA)...whatever. Like i said to him years ago, doesn't matter man or woman...cheating is cheating.

 

There was another post recently about this and I stated how more women were being infected with HIV these days because of bisexual men. Someone seemed to have been offended by it. Reality is that bisexual men are more likely to pass on this disease. I'm sorry you went through something like this. THIS to me is every woman's nightmare.

 

Also, your right...cheating is cheating!

[UnknowingOW]

There was another post recently about this and I stated how more women were being infected with HIV these days because of bisexual men. Someone seemed to have been offended by it. Reality is that bisexual men are more likely to pass on this disease. I'm sorry you went through something like this. THIS to me is every woman's nightmare.

 

Also, your right...cheating is cheating!

 

Buttafly,

 

You are correct, and it happens more then you would imagine.

I am fine...trust me. I hold my head high even though I went through that nightmare.

 

My best friend, thankfully didn't marry that guy and he turned out to be completely gay. I was the one that broke it to her. I thought, well, I will lose my best friend or I can watch her suffer without her knowledge. I told her. She's still my best friend today and is dating my best male friend!!! What a match maker I am...ha ha ha.

[Spiderman]

I would tend be less angry and more forgiving if I found out my SO had cheated with a girl as opposed to a guy, strange huh! This said however, cheating is cheating I suppose.

 

Quote:

A4A - "lesbian sex is ok because they are expressing their deep friendship feeling and emotional connection through their sexual acts..."

 

So am I right in concluding that women tend to think it's more acceptbale to play around with other women, if they have that urge, even if they're in a commited loving relationship? Is this more commonplace than us men really know?

[Buttaflyy]

I would tend be less angry and more forgiving if I found out my SO had cheated with a girl as opposed to a guy, strange huh! This said however, cheating is cheating I suppose.

 

Quote:

A4A - "lesbian sex is ok because they are expressing their deep friendship feeling and emotional connection through their sexual acts..."

 

 

So am I right in concluding that women tend to think it's more acceptbale to play around with other women, if they have that urge, even if they're in a commited loving relationship? Is this more commonplace than us men really know?

 

No it is not! Not for all women anyways. Cheating is cheating woman/woman, man/woman, man/man WHATEVER!

 

I think and I know I probably sound biased or whatever, but the problem with most gay relationships period is that sex seems to be the main ingredient! There is usually no loyalty to the SO anyways. It's like a big free for all.

 

The idea of women thinking they're not cheating on their men with another woman comes from the influence of men (preferably the SO). If he's turned on to this sort of thing, and knows he has a bisexual woman, it's probably not a problem in that relationship.

[Spiderman]

No it is not! Not for all women anyways. Cheating is cheating woman/woman, man/woman, man/man WHATEVER!

 

I think and I know I probably sound biased or whatever, but the problem with most gay relationships period is that sex seems to be the main ingredient! There is usually no loyalty to the SO anyways. It's like a big free for all.

 

The idea of women thinking they're not cheating on their men with another woman comes from the influence of men (preferably the SO). If he's turned on to this sort of thing, and knows he has a bisexual woman, it's probably not a problem in that relationship.

 

[sIZE=2]Many thanks for your insightful views lovely Buttaflyy, it's always a pleasure reading your posts.

 

[/sIZE][FONT=Verdana][sIZE=2]I have to say, it seems a lot more commonplace and acceptable in society now for women to be attracted to other women more so than guys being attracted to other guys.

 

I personally find it quite a turn on to think of my SO with another girl although in reality I'm quite sure how I would feel!? But then as I said, if she was to cheat I would rather it be with a woman as opposed to a guy, I think I could deal with that, strange huh!?

 

 

 

 

[/sIZE][/FONT]

[Buttaflyy]

[sIZE=2]Many thanks for your insightful views lovely Buttaflyy, it's always a pleasure reading your posts.

 

[/sIZE][FONT=Verdana][sIZE=2]I have to say, it seems a lot more commonplace and acceptable in society now for women to be attracted to other women more so than guys being attracted to other guys.

 

I personally find it quite a turn on to think of my SO with another girl although in reality I'm quite sure how I would feel!? But then as I said, if she was to cheat I would rather it be with a woman as opposed to a guy, I think I could deal with that, strange huh!?

 

 

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Hey Spidey! No, I don't find this strange. I think most men would feel this way. Even my SO who wouldn't allow me to be with a woman and him. He'd probably rather I left him for one or cheated with one rather than a man. I don't think men are as intimidated by women.

 

Society says two chicks hooking up is cool!

[Spiderman]

Society says two chicks hooking up is cool!

 

Hey you,

 

I know, I'm loving society!

[Adunaphel]

My ex boyfriend said he would not have had any problems with me doing basically anything with another woman.

He said that he'd have liked to look, or that he'd have liked me to tell him about what happened and what it was like, but he'd have not had any problems even if did anything with a woman without telling him about it.

 

I don't think he was aware that if I did anything with a woman I was actually attracted to, that would have meant huge trouble for our relationship. (which I tried to explain him).

[Spiderman]

My ex boyfriend said he would not have had any problems with me doing basically anything with another woman.

He said that he'd have liked to look, or that he'd have liked me to tell him about what happened and what it was like, but he'd have not had any problems even if did anything with a woman without telling him about it.

 

I don't think he was aware that if I did anything with a woman I was actually attracted to, that would have meant huge trouble for our relationship. (which I tried to explain him).

 

Strange?! I bet he would have had something to say if you were doing anything sexual with another bloke though huh!?