Milf629 Posted June 14, 2006 Posted June 14, 2006 I am noticing all the posts and alot of them start off by saying its an "EA" that was admitted to but nothing else and yet the "other" person (meaning you) is convinced it is otherwise and has found out otherwise. SO how many people on here that have been betrayed, started out with your spouse telling you it was an "EA"?
Chump64 Posted June 14, 2006 Posted June 14, 2006 My husband's affair started out as an EA. When I first became suspicious, however, he didn't admit to an EA. He said they were just "friends" and that their email banter had gotten a little too cozy. I found the rest out on my own.
Walking away Posted June 14, 2006 Posted June 14, 2006 My xMM told his wife that we were only an EA. It started out that way. But, it progressed into a PA also. She is quite fragile now that she is aware of me. I doubt very much that she would be able to handle the truth. Perhaps denial is a good defense mechanism for some. And, she hasn't looked into further proof to dispute his tales. I am sure she really doesn't want to know the truth. It would absolutely destroy her. You know, sometimes, I think, to protect the BS, these MM don't tell the truth. Sometimes the truth can be absolutely devastating. It is a sticky wicket these MM find themselves in. My gut feeling would be that they would deny, deny, deny until presented with proof that they are lying, like Chump did.
Author Milf629 Posted June 14, 2006 Author Posted June 14, 2006 and even then sometimes they would still deny right? thats my case, he admitted to an EA "by my definition of what an EA is" so then later he "took it back" and said no no we're just friends. obviously I dont beleive that. I am just wondering how many people's significant others are telling them its an EA when the significant other either KNOWS otherwise or suspects and is trying to find out. I dont know why i want to know, i suppose to make myself feel better.
Walking away Posted June 14, 2006 Posted June 14, 2006 Be careful of what you wish for.... Don't get me wrong, I am all for the truth. But, I hate to have someone endure such pain just for the sake of "finding out." I don't know. I am out of my realm being the xOW. Perhaps I should step aside and let the BS' out there speak. Please guard your heart.
Chump64 Posted June 14, 2006 Posted June 14, 2006 Find out the truth, but only if you have a plan to do something about it (ie, either leave him or request that he stop / go into counseling / all that fun bull$hit). Why would you find out "just to know"? Why would you stay with a known cheater who won't stop? Hello there WA.
Chump64 Posted June 14, 2006 Posted June 14, 2006 I believe that most PAs start out as EAs. And sadly, MILF, you are probably only getting the partial truth. I read somewhere that whenever a cheating spouse admits to something small (like "we're just friends"), most of the time that's the tip of the iceberg. Be prepared for the worst. My husband told me they were having some "overly friendly" email banter. Turned out to be a 10-year EA + PA. It sounds like you need to go stealth and investigate. Your spouse ain't going to pony up the info, sadly.
Author Milf629 Posted June 14, 2006 Author Posted June 14, 2006 no no no I will leave his ass. and take all his money. and make his life miserable. thats my wanting to know. thats the reason right there. I am not going to be THAT WOMEN who was blinded.
Chump64 Posted June 14, 2006 Posted June 14, 2006 Whew. Good luck. Stick around here and keep posting.
silktricks Posted June 14, 2006 Posted June 14, 2006 My H's A was an EA. It stopped there, then he stopped that, then (well about then - the EA wasn't totally stopped) he told me. The last few weeks of the EA, while he was trying to extricate himself without having her shoot either of us or something, he actually had me read the e-mails (hers and his). That was fun ---- NOT!!
Guest Posted June 15, 2006 Posted June 15, 2006 My husband has had 2 EA that I know of. Not to mention all the other s*** he has done in between. For 9 years I have taken all the heartache, and delt with his bull. I thought he would change, he promised. I allowed myself to get involved with an EA with a close male friend. Yes, I am wrong, but let me say this. For alomst a decade I have had to deal with my husbands stupid choices dealing with other women. How much can one take before you decide enough is enough? I am now happy, happier than I have ever known. Happier than when I first met my husband. I will get a divorce, when the time is right, and I will live the rest of my life the way every woman should. Maybe all the EA and PA our husbands have, are a boot in our but to move on and find someone else who will respect us, love us, and treat us the way we deserve.
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