Milf629 Posted June 14, 2006 Posted June 14, 2006 Ok, I have access to Hubby's cingular wireless, and of course I can see all the calls to and from, BUT I can't see the text from text messaging is there anyway to do this, without the phone itself. I mean it has to be recorded somewhere right? He is never around long enough (or leaves his phone alone long enough, actually he keeps it on him at all times, now that I think about it) for me to check the phone itself. so can I do remotely from my computer?
NTB Posted June 14, 2006 Posted June 14, 2006 i don't think there is a way to check this without the phone itself
JackJack Posted June 14, 2006 Posted June 14, 2006 Do you have access to the Cingular handbook that tells you how to use it how to check messages etc? if so, that might help you.
Author Milf629 Posted June 14, 2006 Author Posted June 14, 2006 Yeah I have looked through the online manual thing. and have not found anything indicating that it can be checked any other way. and my thoughts were that I needed the phone to do it, but like I said its under close watch.
2sunny Posted June 14, 2006 Posted June 14, 2006 If you have access to his online bill there is a detailed option that will show text messages rec'd and sent... but NOT the context of the text itself... just who it was rec'd from and sent to - date and time as well.
Hurting_4_Him Posted June 14, 2006 Posted June 14, 2006 Milf There is no way to see the actual text messages unless you have the phone. I have been told that Cingular can retrieve them, but it would take a lot from your part to get them...plus if the phone is in his name only it probably wont happen. Also dont forget if you are looking at his bill online dont let him know you are checking on it because he can put a password on his account and you will no longer be able to see the online bill...
Author Milf629 Posted June 14, 2006 Author Posted June 14, 2006 HA! He knows I am checking it but he didn't know at first, hes not the brightest bulb when it comes to computers. (or at least he lets ME think so, so maybe I will underestimate him?) and I changed his password myself so I could gain access because ALL i had to do was send a password reset to him email that I have the password for! hee hee. anyways, I can see when texts are made and all that but none of the details. SO how are texts stored on those phones? I mean can you just automatically delete it and then never see it again, or is it stored somewhere? I guess if he is being careful he would delete them right away. and I have access to his voicemail too (again have all the numbers (this he doesn't know about)) and their have been ZERO voicemails, so i think he checks them the moment their is one, and deletes them. Gee wonder why? I put a keylogger on my home computer, I am hoping that will give me some answers. its so frustrating.
JackJack Posted June 14, 2006 Posted June 14, 2006 Just a thought here, but I'm assuming you have a cingular phone as well? Is it possible to switch phones with him? Maybe replce his with yours? If he is gone or at work then you might have some time to check these texts etc. Sure he will know after he left he has the wrong phone, but maybe you could play it off as he picked up the wrong phone? Have you point blanked asked him about these calls or texts? If so what has he said? I am also wondering if its that you know something is going on and you just want the actual proof?
Author Milf629 Posted June 14, 2006 Author Posted June 14, 2006 no I do have singular but there is no way shape or form OUR phones could be mistaken, and like I said he keeps a close watch on his. YEAH there are things going on, I started a thread called "how do you know" but essentially I have LOTS'O reasons to suspect its more than platonic as he is telling me it is, he's lied a couple of times, lots of middle of the night calls. etc. etc. etc.
933KJL Posted June 14, 2006 Posted June 14, 2006 The cingular bill will show the numbers texted to/from but ot the content. But the frequency of textin might be telling in and of itself. As for getting them off the phones, most phones have a limited amount of storage. I have a Razr and it holds like 40 or 50 text messgaes (less if there are photos and long messages) and it warns you to delete some messages or you will not receive any more. As for getting them from Cingular. I imagine there is a hefty proce for the account owner to get them--a fee from Cingular to do that. Otherwise I imagine it is confidential and they would not release without a court order.
Author Milf629 Posted June 14, 2006 Author Posted June 14, 2006 and yes I am looking for proof its NOT platonic, just my gut, and if there is one thing I have learned its to not ignore your gut.
Trimmer Posted June 14, 2006 Posted June 14, 2006 Probably too late for this warning, but.... With my cell provider (Verizon) when you change your password for online access, their system immediately sends a text message to the phone on the account saying something like "Your new password is xxxxx. If you did not order this change, please call us at XXX-XXX-XXXX" So just make sure you've covered your tracks, or realize that there's some possibility you may have exposed your investigation more than you expected.... And I agree with H4H and 933KJL - no "ordinary" way to retrieve text messages from the phone without pretty sophisticated crime-lab-type resources, and if the cell company can do it from some records within their system (and i doubt they keep such records anyway...), they are not likely to do so without a court order, etc...
Author Milf629 Posted June 14, 2006 Author Posted June 14, 2006 http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t90909/ yeah I wouldn't go to the company. I would imagine a court order at the very LEAST would be in order. and yeah like I said he knows i have the password, and yes he told me he got a message, I just dont care if he knows, I mean that ONE action told me about all the calls, so WTF is he going to say? its no matter. I just think that if I am to find something there would be ALOT of info in the actual TEXT itself. does anyone have a membership on one of those sites to search cellphone numbers? I am running into lots of road blocks there. see lots of numbers dont know who they belong to because cell phones aren't published, at least not for free.
PandorasBox Posted June 14, 2006 Posted June 14, 2006 Maybe you could write down these numbers you are wondering about and call them. Maybe from a pay phone in case they have caller ID. If you don't want to do that maybe get a friend to do it. How about hiring a PI? of course they can be expensive.
jmargel Posted June 14, 2006 Posted June 14, 2006 I have cingular and have noticed on both mine & my wife's account that the time a call was placed or received is not always the right time. It'll show 00:30 am when I know I placed the call in the afternoon. So be warned about that. You can't see what they texted each other over the web, and when I text someone it will not go into my sent folder unless I tell it to. The phone I have usually keeps about 20 to 25 text messages before it tells me I need to delete some or get over-written. However, your problem goes way deeper than just these phone calls. You have no trust in him and the only way to relieve that is to start marriage counseling. You need to go with your gut feeling and demand either he starts MC or your gone. Do you really want to play detective the rest of your marriage? This is no way to live. You need to set boundaries and enforce them. Trust me I know. I was there. If it wasn't for the help I received on here, plus the help of some counselors who could see what was coming, my outcome would probably be alot worse then it was. In fact I was able to turn things around and have her change alot of her ways. Good luck to you.
Author Milf629 Posted June 14, 2006 Author Posted June 14, 2006 Maybe you could write down these numbers you are wondering about and call them. Maybe from a pay phone in case they have caller ID. If you don't want to do that maybe get a friend to do it. How about hiring a PI? of course they can be expensive. yeah money is pretty tight. If I do spend money on anything it will be to rent a GPS tracker and see where he is going. I can also block my phone, so that they can't see my number, granted some people dont accept blocked calls, but alot of people do. in any case, even if I did call, I have no idea what this girls voice sounds like, so how would I know which numbers are hers and which numbers are not? plus the ones i have called have generic prerecorded messages on them, so thats of no use to me either.
Chump64 Posted June 14, 2006 Posted June 14, 2006 There are services that will provide cell phone reverse lookups. They are kind of pricey though. Here's an example: http://www.iinfosearch.com/services/name_address_from_cellular_number.htm You could try to put a voice-activated recorder in his vehicle. You can at least catch his part of the phone conversation. A decent recorder is about $50 at any electronics store. Give him lots of assurance that you are getting comfortable / not suspicious any more. Tell him you are happy that things seem better. Play nice and sweet. Then go to work. Sneak out of bed at 3 am and go find his phone to see if you can find the text messages. Or run an errand and take it with you accidentally. PIs are very expensive and not worth the money. The only thing they can really do for you is follow someone. They won't go into a work office or vehicle, they won't 'bug' anything, etc. You can do so much more on your own. You will pay as much for a small but decent GPS system (that you get to KEEP) as you will for 2 hours of a PI's service.
Hurting_4_Him Posted June 14, 2006 Posted June 14, 2006 Milf, I checked out a few things today because I myself am in a similar situation...and I myself use cingular....you can get the number that texts are being to and sent from from the actual bill...they will not appear until the bill prints...and you can look at the bill online...for the actual text itself..yes you can get it..but not easy...you have to get a subpena from any law enforcemnt ie: lawyer, judge, cop, and so on...once that is sent in they will research the messages sent to and from from that phone and get them back to the person that sent the subpena...so lets just say MY HUSBAND IS A SCREWED POOCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
movinon05 Posted June 14, 2006 Posted June 14, 2006 Does he have the phone on him while he mows the lawn? Does he take the phone into the shower with him?
stillhere Posted June 14, 2006 Posted June 14, 2006 I have a Motorola V555, and i can put a password on any any section in my phone. Like, i have a password on my messages, multimedia, incoming and outgoing calls, voice records, but nothing else. I don't need it anymore, as i left my H, but just in case someone grabs my phone, i don't have to worry about them snooping. I'm assuming the newer Motorola's all have this feature, so if he has a motorola, you may not be able to get into his phone, even if he did leave it unattended for a short while.
Author Milf629 Posted June 14, 2006 Author Posted June 14, 2006 we are living apart. so he is here in the morning when I go to work to be with our children. so I am gone from 7:30-12:30, he shows up a couple minutes before and leaves almost immediately to go to work himself, so when he showers I am gone, he has not spent the night at all. and honestly hes not here for any length of time, except when he has to be here for the girls. we live in a condo so no lawn to mow. and like i said when he is here, he literally has his phone on him at all times. and yes i knew I could check the numbers texted to AFTER the bill cycle was over but I can't check the cycle we are in. and no he doesn't have a motorola I couldn't even tell you what he does have. probably a nokia.
jmargel Posted June 15, 2006 Posted June 15, 2006 You are living apart so I take it you are seperated? What I am getting at is you need to stop focusing on the other woman and your attempts to play detective. It's just a cat & mouse game. What I think you should do is give him the ultamatium. Either Marriage counseling or it's over. If he agrees to MC then you let the counselor dig and find the answers. They are trained to approach it at angles that get answers to these questions. What are you getting out of this marriage? In all reality you only have this one life here, which is pretty short. Why waste your precious time on this? Yes you might love him but you need to consider at what expense this is causing you mentally, physically & emotionally. What he is showing you is not true love. This is something you don't deserve, and to tell you the truth once a relationship is tainted like this it really never gets back to where it was once before when you first fell in love. People change over time, that's something you can't help. Sometimes for the better, sometimes for the worse. At least from your profile picture you are very beautiful and you sound like you have a good heart. There is a guy out there who would love to share everything in life with you, without you having to be a competitor in the relationship. Start thinking about yourself.
Author Milf629 Posted June 15, 2006 Author Posted June 15, 2006 thank you jmargel. no we are not separated, not legally that is. we ARE seeing a marriage counselor. I think maybe I will find a new one i dont know. when the subject of him cheating initially came up she just asked him point blank, he of course said NO, and then she gave me the "ok"? look. as in is that good enough, he said no you now you have to trust & believe him, blah blah blah. yeah soooo not looking for someone else. I honestly dont think i will ever get married again, I have a vibrator to fulfill my needs
Chump64 Posted June 15, 2006 Posted June 15, 2006 when the subject of him cheating initially came up she just asked him point blank, he of course said NO, and then she gave me the "ok"? look. as in is that good enough, he said no you now you have to trust & believe him, blah blah blah. Take your "just the facts" list back to this marriage counselor and ask her to read it / give you her thoughts.
alfagrl Posted June 16, 2006 Posted June 16, 2006 I'm confused...Is proof of infidelity need for a divorce? or Is this all for your own knowledge? P.S. Take your "just the facts" list back to this marriage counselor and ask her to read it / give you her thoughts. Thats a good idea Chump64
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