hotgurl Posted June 14, 2006 Posted June 14, 2006 What's the least amount of time that you dated someone before moving in together. Did it work out?
bab Posted June 14, 2006 Posted June 14, 2006 The first guy I lived with moved in with me after a couple months and before I had moved out of my moms. We moved out of my moms together 6 months later and stayed together for a total of 3 years. It was a horrific 3 years. If we hadn't been living together maybe it wouldn't have lasted so long. I don't even like to think about it. On the oppossite end of the spectrum my husband and I moved in together after 4 1/2 years of dating and were married almost exactly 1 year later.
littlekitty Posted June 14, 2006 Posted June 14, 2006 My SO moved in a couple of days short of our 1st Anniversary. To date everything is going swimmingly and we're getting married next year! One thing we did - both consciously and unconsciously - was to build up the time we spent together. Of course during dating we'd done this anyway, gone from spending one night a week, to the full weekend + during the week. Then before he moved in we spent even more time together, he was barely using his flat one night a week by that time, and my house was already more like home. I think this really helped because it meant we were already practically living together, so it wasn't such a huge shock!
Author hotgurl Posted June 14, 2006 Author Posted June 14, 2006 I was asking because my friend is dating this guy and he kinda has some red flags and now they are moving from NH to New JErsey together and it hasn't been two months. I think it is a bad idea. My current bf and I were friends for 1 year and dating for 1.5 years before we moveed in together and it is going well.
littlekitty Posted June 14, 2006 Posted June 14, 2006 Sounds like hugely bad idea to me. Especially if red flags are already out and flapping so to speak! I had a friend who met a guy on a holiday. They returned to the UK and literally moved in together within 3 weeks. Within a month they were arguing, he had anger issues she hadn't be able to see in that short time of knowing him, and other issues too. With two months he'd threatened to throw her off the balcony and kill her. She asked him to leave. It's now about six months later, and she's just changed her phone number and email addresses to stop the harassment she's been getting from him. I say tell her to stop and take her time.
ash8752 Posted June 14, 2006 Posted June 14, 2006 it is going to be really hard to stop her from doing it. She is in that crazy infatuation stage where you think you are right and it's real love and you dont want to be apart. Telling her not to go will make her angry! BUT YOU HAVE TO DO IT! Maybe one day she'll thank you, maybe not but atleat say the words so when it doesnt work out she cant say "Why didnt you warn me???" My friends and i have always been honest and although we didnt always listen to eachother we always knew the other was right. Hopefully she'll realize you love her and you are not trying to hurt her. My bf and i have been together 14 months and lived together 3 of them. SO far so good. Love him!!!
Author hotgurl Posted June 14, 2006 Author Posted June 14, 2006 I am seeing her friday and trying to work out what I will say to her. She also just got out of a five year relationship and is so not ready for this. Our mutal friend totally hates the new BF and went about telling her in a harsh way and god it was such a mess they are no longer talking!
RarePearl Posted June 14, 2006 Posted June 14, 2006 What's the least amount of time that you dated someone before moving in together. Did it work out?Four months with my ex-husband. (I answered both your questions in one simple sentence! )
Outcast Posted June 15, 2006 Posted June 15, 2006 Tell her littlekitty's friend's story. Tell her that very bad men can hide their bad characteristics for several months until a woman's hooked.
littlekitty Posted June 15, 2006 Posted June 15, 2006 Tell her littlekitty's friend's story. Tell her that very bad men can hide their bad characteristics for several months until a woman's hooked. This is so true. It takes several months or even longer for peoples true characteristics to show throw. After all, aren't we all slightly on our best behavior when we first meet someone?!
Tim'sAngel Posted June 15, 2006 Posted June 15, 2006 I just officially moved all my stuff in 2 weeks ago but have been staying here with him for about 5 months and we've been together for 8 months and have known each other for about a year and a half. Everything is going well. I prolly wouldn't have moved in as soon as I did, but we had a situation where my mother (who I was staying with when we met) was getting married and moving off to a different state and didn't have enough money to get my own place, so it was easier to just move in. We've had some ups and down, but I am very very lucky to have found someone who I am so compatible with. I'm convinced there is not a lot we can't work out!! ok.. what were we talking about?
RarePearl Posted June 15, 2006 Posted June 15, 2006 Hotgurl, no matter what you say, she won't listen. The only thing you can say is: "Why don't you wait a few more months, it's kinda too soon?" If she disagrees, leave it. Otherwise you'll end up in bad terms with her. I know you want the best for her, but you might be - just MIGHT be - wrong. It's bad to interfere in other people's relationships so don't do that. She is an adult and able to take care of herself. How would you like it if she told you to dump your partner? I just officially moved all my stuff in 2 weeks ago but have been staying here with him for about 5 months and we've been together for 8 months and have known each other for about a year and a half. Everything is going well. I prolly wouldn't have moved in as soon as I did' date=' but we had a situation where my mother (who I was staying with when we met) was getting married and moving off to a different state and didn't have enough money to get my own place, so it was easier to just move in. We've had some ups and down, but I am very very lucky to have found someone who I am so compatible with. I'm convinced there is not a lot we can't work out!! ok.. what were we talking about? [/quote']Is your child from this guy or a previous partner? I thought you were married and your husband was your kid's dad.
Tim'sAngel Posted June 15, 2006 Posted June 15, 2006 RP, my son is from a previous relationship, but his biological father is not apart of his life by choice. My SO is a very loving father figure to him and we make a very happy little family.
basscatcher Posted June 15, 2006 Posted June 15, 2006 My xh was 3 1/2 months we were together for 11 1/2 years. 2 years-- lasted 4 1/2 years (waited 2 years because we lived 3 hours apart-- LDR) 4 months--lasted 1 1/2 years (relocated after graduation together so we moved in together) 30 days- last 6 months (we had been corresponding for about 4 months before meeting, upon meeting face to face he relocated 5 1/2 hours to me and lived with me until he got homesick and felt so lost in MN he moved back.) Haven't lived with another man. I don't want to unless we are engaged and planning marriage or if I break down and meet a man out of my area and I choose to relocate then it would be a consideration.
Author hotgurl Posted June 16, 2006 Author Posted June 16, 2006 rp, I would never tell her to break up with this guy i just want her to slow down. It doesn't help that she is depressed. I really don't think she is in the right frame of mind to make such big decisions. I told her that i love her but I think she is moving to fast and that she see only the good in people and is very trusting and she should be more careful and aware. But that no matter what I will always be there for her and I wish her only happiness.
littlekitty Posted June 16, 2006 Posted June 16, 2006 I told her that i love her but I think she is moving to fast and that she see only the good in people and is very trusting and she should be more careful and aware. But that no matter what I will always be there for her and I wish her only happiness. That's all we can do sometimes isn't it. You sound like a good friend HG.
Author hotgurl Posted June 16, 2006 Author Posted June 16, 2006 That's all we can do sometimes isn't it. You sound like a good friend HG. Thank you Little Kitty
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