How normal are 2nd thoughts about trying to work on the marriage after infidelity?

[Guest]

Is it normal to have second thoughts about trying to save the marriage after infidelity? Whether the person having second thoughts is the BS or WS, after all the apologies and regrets of the affair have been said and you get into the trenches of working on saving the marriage--do second thoughts or internal doubts creep in? If that is normal, does it last forever? If so, does it mirror insanity?!

[Chump64]

Gawd no, it's not insane!

 

 

I am the BS I have second thoughts almost daily. And I think I'm pretty sane! I have heard from other people who question this for years. I suspect I will do the same.

 

What is your situation ?

[Hurting_4_Him]

No its not insane at all!!!

 

The first time my husband cheated, after he admitted to it, I wanted it to work and agreed to work on our marriage. I had doubt everyday for a while. I will say this though...when the second affair started I knew in my heart that something other than friendship was going on...he told me I was dellusional and paranoid...for a while I believed him...thought wow maybe I'm just paranoid about it cause of what happened in the past. Maybe I'm seeing more than a friendship because of what happened in the past...but that wasn't the case...I saw exactly what was going on!! He tried and tried to talk me out of it..tried to make me think I was nuts...but I knew better. It will be very hard to trust again if you are the BS...I in all honesty suggest counseling for you alone and for both of you. Good luck!!!