theused37 Posted June 13, 2006 Posted June 13, 2006 ok i know alot of guys out there post there stories about they hate their girlfriends pasts and how they just cant get over it. but my situation is a little different. Ive been in a relationship for the past 14 months and its been wonderful all around ive never been happier. When we first started going out we talked alot and i found out before we started dating that she had a one nite stand and gotten double teamed by two guys but the first time she mentioned it she said she was so intoxicated that she didnt know it happened. about a week later i found out from her friend that she lied to me and she knew exactly what she was doing she just didnt want to come off as a slut and i would say for about the first 6 months into our relationship she would actually BRAG about it to her friends in front of me and say how these were the hottest guys ever and she scored and that it was the best time of her life... every single day i get really emotional about this.. i think to myself how the hell do i compete with that.. i even brought up to her how i felt about this and she shrugged it off like it was nothing... everyday it gets worse and so many things i hear or see reminds me of these things she said and the crappy mood she's put me.. in i dont know what to do to get over this any help would be greatly appreciated.
norajane Posted June 13, 2006 Posted June 13, 2006 Ive been in a relationship for the past 14 months and its been wonderful all around ive never been happier. ...for about the first 6 months into our relationship she would actually BRAG about it to her friends in front of me and say how these were the hottest guys ever and she scored and that it was the best time of her life... every single day i get really emotional about this.. i think to myself how the hell do i compete with that.. i even brought up to her how i felt about this and she shrugged it off like it was nothing... everyday it gets worse and so many things i hear or see reminds me of these things she said and the crappy mood she's put me.. Total contradiction from your first statement to what you describe...things have not been wonderful all around and you aren't happy, so don't minimize your strong feelings of unhappiness. I think they're legitimate if she's been bragging about it and it makes you feel bad, and she just shrugs it off when you talk to her. Frankly, if I were with a guy who couldn't stop talking about some threesome he had ages ago with the hottest girls ever, I'd suggest that he go and find those girls. Honestly, I wouldn't put up with it, especially after you've made your feelings known. She sounds very immature to be talking like this in front of you. Tell her one more time how much it hurts you when she talks about those other guys, ask her to stop doing it, and make sure she understands this is a deal-breaker for you - that you don't want to be with a woman who makes you feel unhappy all the time because she brags about other guys, and that you want to be with a woman who brags about YOU. Now, you said this was in the first 6 months...if she's stopped talking about those guys, then you just have to get over it. It's done, it's over, and she's respecting your feelings by not bringing up those guys anymore. There's nothing more she can do except to give you her love and hope you can get beyond her past.
RarePearl Posted June 13, 2006 Posted June 13, 2006 Tell your GF that you feel terrible about it and if she EVER mentions it again in front of you, you will walk away and she'll never see you again. She's being an idiot for talking about that experience and bragging about how great it was. I truly understand your position. I wouldn't even share something like that with my SO. Perhaps if he'd ask me "have you ever...?" I'd say "yes." And if he asked how it was, I might say "OK." (I've never done that, by the way.) You should never let your partner know that someone was better than them in bed. I think she doesn't really think they were so good, it's just that she likes the image of being liberal, using men, and enjoying sex. She sounds like she's had sexual issues in the past. Molested perhaps?
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