beautifulnpink22 Posted June 13, 2006 Posted June 13, 2006 I don't know whether I should stay or go. I have develop really deep feelings for my boyfriend, however so many things has happened where I feel that I just can't trust him no matter what he tells me. I always go back to the time where his ex threatened twice and him still communicating with her after what she did. It's not like I knew this girl, I had never seen her in my life but she just develop this hatred for me. I mean come on if someone was to disrespect my boyfriend and try to come between us I have no reason to communicate with that person. And even after all of that I stayed hoping that one day she will just go away and leave us alone. Then there was a time him and I went out and he was paying for dinner and there was a condom in his wallet (fyi: we don't use them) and I asked why it was there and he lied and said that it had been there all along. Then he goes onto this website giving his telephone number to different girls trying to get to know them and lying to me telling me that he goes on just to check his mail. So all of these thoughts come to mind, for these reasons and more I feel that I cannot trust him. I mean wouldn't you feel the same. I sit around hoping and praying that things will change. I even ask him if he wants to just break up and be free he tells me no. Sometimes I fight with myself, a part of me wants to just deal with it and hopefully things will change if he just come to the realization that I am a good woman. Another part of me says no why would I want to put myself through this, it's too painful just to think of the things that has happened already. But don't people change, well not unless they want. And he says that he's changing slowly and Lord knows I want to give him that chance, but what if he doesn't? I don't want to put so much work to making a relationship work and then it doesn't. Please help me.
a4a Posted June 13, 2006 Posted June 13, 2006 Lets add this up 1. He is giving his phone number to other women. 2. He is in possession of a condom yet does not use them with you. 3. He is still in contact with his X regardless of how it makes you feel. 4. He does not wish to break up with you. Equals: He is using you and is inconsiderate of your feelings, has zero respect for you, is a good chance he is screwing others and putting you at risk for an STD (condoms don't stop all of them,if he is actually using them), he is not giving you 100% of himself in this relationship. You need to look at this for what it really is, you cannot change him. He has zero respect for you and has it his way in this relationship. Why should he change?
Stunner Posted June 13, 2006 Posted June 13, 2006 I agree...this is not only a case of following your instincts but it appears that all the facts are there. Don't waste another moment of your time sticking it out with someone who has no regard for your feelings and is, IMO, already cheating. Dump his sorry butt and move on, there is better out there.
Addictedtolove Posted June 13, 2006 Posted June 13, 2006 If you have any respect for yourself, you will leave him this very second. You do NOT need this in your life. there are SO many better men out there. i understand that you like him, but it's not like he's the first person or the last person you will want to be with. Please let him go. This relationship you have will only end in a million times more the suffering than you have now. You KNOW that it's wrong, and you KNOW the answer to this question. You just felt like writing it all down to remind yourself of all the things he's done and youre very insecure about it so you want to see other people's opinions. You know those Juicy bags? Go out and buy the one that says "Dump him" or "Ditch him". Treat yourself to a better life.
2020vision Posted June 13, 2006 Posted June 13, 2006 Life is too short to be in a realtionship such as the one you are involved in. He is a disrespectful loser. He is a classic example of "wants his cake and it too". Don't settle for anything in life, especially some crap bag who is emailing other women and possibly physically cheating on you. He does not want to change, and you don't have time to sit around and wait for him to change. Sometimes, we find the wrong person to pair up with, its a fact of life. You just have to muster up the self confidence and self respect to grow past it. You know those Juicy bags? Go out and buy the one that says "Dump him" or "Ditch him". Treat yourself to a better life. Side note-I love those bags!! They are hilarious. I even saw a floppy beach hat the other day that said "I am not that into you"
catgirl1927 Posted June 13, 2006 Posted June 13, 2006 I think a lot of guys who like to cheat consider it like a feather in their cap that they can keep a girlfriend strung along to do girlfriend things. They are getting all the benefits of a relationship and all the benefits of being single, AND they are bragging to their friends about how stupid women are and how they will fall for just anything they say. One of their best tricks is to convince you that you are somehow "special." It goes along with, you can't be mad that he had sex with someone else because he really loves you, you're the only one he has feelings for and aren't you special. No. You're being used. Get the hell out now before he gives you a disease.
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