Stripey Posted June 13, 2006 Posted June 13, 2006 Hoping someone can help with some perspective... I have been divorced 2 1/2 years. Have dated during that time and am currently single - and pretty content. I have a business aquaintance who I have known for about 6 months and always admired, but as he always has been married, it was never more than a private admiration. A month or so ago, we had coffee and he asked me how it was being divorced and if i ever regretted my decision. He then told me he and his wife had been seperated for 6 weeks and were going through counselling. He has subsequently asked me out for dinner a couple of times to talk, and its become apparent during those times that we are both extremely fond of eachother. We have agreed though, that until he and his wife have resolved their situation (there is still some discussion of attempting a reconcilliation - but she is very hostile with him) we must remain no more than professional collegues. I am happy to pay respect to the marriage and stay away - and will do so. My problem is that I am extremely attached to this man now and need to know how I am going to survive the next few months. Do i wait to see if they do permanently seperate (as he is SOOOO worth waiting for), or do I forget the whole thing... Even if they do seperate, would he realistically be ready for another relationship??? Any advise much appreiciated.
movinon05 Posted June 13, 2006 Posted June 13, 2006 Yes, you should definitely stay platonic at this stage. If you feel he is sooo worth waiting for then fine. But I wouldn't stop your life for this yet. You are divorced, so you should kind of know what it feels like once you are divorced and out in the dating world again. Read the "dating habits for divorced men" thread. He, as you know, has a lot of issues to deal with, and it looks like its not going to be pretty. And if there is ANY chance of reconciliation, you definitely need to not have your heart get messed up in this, or get involved where it will cloud his judgment about what he really wants. Stay colleagues for now, as much as you possibly can. Oh, I also see that they're going through counseling. Is that to get through the divorce or try to see if the marriage is salvageable? You are definitely on unsteady ground right now.
whichwayisup Posted June 13, 2006 Posted June 13, 2006 He then told me he and his wife had been seperated for 6 weeks and were going through counselling. Seems soon for him to be getting involved with someone else, especially if he's just separated. Because of this and the fact you're getting too attached to him, you need to back off - For your own sanity. Let him know why you need to back off of him. Hopefully he'll understand and see how unfair it it for you to keep you around while he could be working things out at home.
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