Is it worth it?

[Addictedtolove]

I'm new to the site, it looks awesome and I know I'll have tons to contribute. But I figured I'd start off with my main problem that I need an opinion on.

 

This might take a while, but I want your opinions.

 

The first time I met my mother's boyfriend, I was in a bikini.

 

Don't get me wrong here, I was having a pool party, and my boyfriend...of only about..2 weeks on that day, was 45 minutes late. I wasn't upset with him, I just didn't want to have to wait for the party to start and so, there i was, in a bikini. It wasn't anything crazy like that but I didn't realize that it wasn't all that good of a first impression.

 

The second time I met his mom, I was going out on a date with him and his parents. We would all go to the movies, they wanted to go to a different one, and then meet up afterwards for ice cream. i covered up very well, (long jeans and a cotton t shirt), and i loved the movie.

 

I'm a very shy person, so when we were with them afterwards i was very quiet. he took my hand in his and hugged me and I let him, I didn't want to hurt his feelings, even though i was sort of uncomfortable in front of his mom and dad. I didn't really talk all that much, though i was very polite when i was spoken to.

 

Afterwards, he told me that she talked about how she didn't really like me. How I was very quiet and acted like I only wanted something physical from him. This really wasn't true at all! My shyness showed very much though. I guess because it was her son she took it personally, but she's a psychologist! Shouldn't she understand that people are shy sometimes? I didn't not talk on purpose!

 

Anyways, to the root of the problem, so now I'm on better terms with her. I used to be terrified of her and now I'm not so scared of her anymore and I talk better with her.

 

He's Jewish. I've never been to any sort of religious place in my life. I didn't even know who God was supposed to be until I was in middle school! I wasn't ignorant, my parents just never talked about it or anything. I frequently comment that I'm very "uncultured". And I don't believe in God, I'm sorry if that offends anyone, i always make sure to capitalize His name since He is so important to many people but I've just been raised in the way that He had no presence in my life and I don't feel as if I need Him.

 

So, eventually, I know me not being Jewish is going to be a problem. It's weird how the Jewish people always say they are discriminated against, yet if you aren't one they aren't very accepting. I'm sure not everyone is like that but in my experience they have been. And don't get me wrong, i've dated Jewish guys, I was just never this serious about one before. I know that in the end, I'll have to convert in order to be even vaguely accepted by his family. This upsets me, but I would definitely do it for him.

 

i used to hear about how the children can't be considered Jewish unless their mother is Jewish, but he told his entire family and me, multiple times I might add, which makes me feel a bit happy that he WANTS this to work, that now even the Conservative Jewish people (I guess people higher up who decide things...I wouldn't know..), said that because of genetic testing and everything now, the children can be considered Jewish with just a Jewish father.

 

I know my boyfriend would want to raise his children up as Jews, and I'd do anything for him, so i would definitely convert and take part in everything.

 

Now for the opinion part, Is It Worth It? He's a grade lower than I am in school and I graduate soon. We're very much into each other, he doesn't talk about us being together in the future much, but sometimes he will, like after prom, he looked at me and said that when (notice the when), we go together next year, he'd make sure we'd slow dance (There weren't any and so he said he wanted to go to either my or his house and do so, which is kind of cute).

 

But soon, I'll graduate. For this boy, I am definitely willing to commit to the long distance for a year, because I know he's going to go to a school near the one I am attending. (He's very much a genius, so I know he's definitely applying somewhere in Massachusetts and we both know we'll get into the schools we want to). Anyways, with the whole Judaism thing and the conflict of the long distance for a year etc, I'm wondering if any of you think it's worth it. If I should really invest my love and time in something that might not ultimately work, or if I should just have as much fun as I can while it lasts.

 

Thank you for helping, if you survived to the end of this long rant heh.