somegal1GUST29 Posted June 13, 2006 Posted June 13, 2006 Hi everyone! Dated a guy for 2 mths & slept together for the 1st time about a month into it. He has pushed for a RL from day one & asked numerously to be committed/exclusive. My response has always been "I prefer to take things slow & see where it goes because I'm not ready to be exclusive w/you & don't want to “put all my eggs in 1 basket” until I can trust you. So we continued dating casually & one night we had plans but he cancelled last minute due to work. I told him I was hurt & disappointed being it was the 2nd time he cancelled on me. He said I was being unreasonable (maybe I was) nonetheless I felt let down. Next night I met up w/a guy I befriended prior to meeting my current guy. Long story short, guy I'm dating found out & left a voicemail saying how upset he was & he couldn’t believe I was out on a date (btw, this happened a week after sleeping together). I explained the guy I was out w/is just a friend & I'm not interested in romantically. We talked through it & made plans to see each other the next day, dinner & back to my place spent hugging & kissing, but he seemed "distant". Throughout all of this, we'd talk pretty much every day, he'd sometimes call 3-4 times per day & he was the one doing most of the calling, initiating plans, etc. Last time we spoke was over a week ago, he asked to see me which I agreed to, but I later cancelled due to work. He told me to call him then when I got home which I did around 10:30pm. No answer so I hung up but sent him a text saying I missed seeing him & to have a good night. Didn't hear from him the next day so I called him later that evening around 11:30pm. Again no answer & I left no message. I called a week later, again no answer so I left a message just saying hi & to call back if he wants & haven't heard from him since. The last time we talked about “us” (which again he brought up), was a few days before I cancelled plans. He asked if I’d eventually want to be in a RL w/him because his biggest fear is that one day I’d decide I’d rather just be friends & want to move onto someone else. So at this point, I don’t know what to think. Should I cease all contact & move on or give him some time...Anyone have any suggestions/advice, I could really use it. Thanks.
Hitman10000 Posted June 13, 2006 Posted June 13, 2006 When you communicated that you want to take it slow or don't want to put "all your eggs in one basket" which is probably advice your dumb sisters (girlfriends) gave you to say to the guy. He basically heard that you dont' like him. guess what, women assume that playing games like this will increase attention, in some cases some guys will be totally turned off and walk the other way. What can you do? Nothing, you screwed up, if he changes his mind he'll come around. Too bad the start of anything for the both of you will be a challenge.
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