heart broken!

[roxy3712]

:confused:hey guys. im new! hi!

anyways... wonering if anyone could give me some advice!

i work on a cruise ship and i recently met this guy who works in the bar department, hangs out with the guests all the time. anyways, he left for his vacation and we talked about getting a ship together when i finish on my contract. but i looked through his e-mails the other day and found e-mails from a girl he had met wile she was cruising and it was very shocking at was being said things like i cant wait to see you again, miss you loads. and all tis was while i was with him. i dont know what to think right now. i really want to make this work but i dont know how i can cope knowing that it happend. we have been together for about 4 monnths now and i thught it was really strong. was it wrong for me to go throuhg his e-mails? i sent him an email about it, just saying that i sensed that something might have happend ( didnt say i looked throuhg his e-mails obviously!). what do u guys think? any advice would be great thanks! im going through hell.

[norajane]

It is wrong to go through his emails, but since you have, you can't really ignore what you found.

 

When you say you've been together for 4 months, what does that mean exactly? Did you both agree to be exclusive, or was that left up in the air? If you were exclusive, it sounds like he hasn't been or maybe didn't see things the same way you did, and you have a right to be upset. If it was left unsaid, then he might have felt you two weren't really serious, so it would be ok to be with other people.

 

You should talk with him when he gets back from vacation and discuss what kind of relationship you want to have (without telling him about the emails). I'd caution against getting involved with people that you work with - especially if you can't get away from each other on a cruise ship! But if you go with it, make sure you talk that part through as well, so you're both on the same page.

 

Good luck!