Nur Posted June 12, 2006 Posted June 12, 2006 My boyfriend and I were good friends for three years, and are two weeks shy of our one-year anniversary. He's an amazing guy: fun, smart, good-looking, has great potential, is loving, sensitive, and loves me to pieces. I love him as well. I've done everything with him, from first kiss to first time. I could see myself with him forever, except... There's been one problem, and it's been coming between us since day one. He is YOUNG. Though six months younger in age, he was a year behind in school, and also guys are just naturally more immature than girls. He's very impulsive, and lacks experience, discipline, and time-management. Most guys I know are like this, but most grow to be mature, responsible adults. I stuck with him this entire year despite his immaturity, which faceted itself in many ways (as many of you LSers have born through with me step by step). For me, I thought he was worth the wait. He put tremendous effort in during our relationship to be more reliable and to think of how his actions would impact others (his seeming self-centeredness was not out of maliciousness, just immaturity -- I used to be the same way). But I've found, during the months, that no matter how much you try, you can't speed up the maturing process. It's like expecting a toddler to act like a teenager. It just doesn't work -- only time will make that change happen. I think it's the same with him. He'd be a almost perfect boyfriend -- maybe even The One -- if only I'd met him in three years. We have arguments almost every week. Way too many conflicts. I feel like I am happy and crying evenly, and almost all of our problems stem from simply immaturity or thoughtlessness on his part. He simply hasn't developed the experience or discipline to overcome them. We had a talk today, after yet another fight. Both of us sensed that change was in the air. The thing is, being constantly hurt by him is upsetting us both. He hates to see me cry, and I hate to be crying all the time. The constant talks are tearing us apart, like a scar that never has time to heal -- hurting our trust, and draining the emotions right out of me. We both know that if we stay together, we will end up breaking up forever and losing all emotion for each other at the end of a long and painful road. Neither of us wants that to happen. So staying together was not an option, but neither was breaking up. We decided to take a break. He will come to my college in two years, and we agreed to give it another try then. In the meantime, we are going to have minimum contact (that would only make it harder) but also neither of us will get in any more serious relationships in the meantime. (I wouldn't anyway, even if we broke up. I would rather do casual dating for a while rather than leap into another relationship). Then, in that time, we will give us another shot. I have never done anything like this before, and I realize that two years is a long time. But I figure if it was meant to be, it will be. And if not, then it won't hurt at the time. Any opinions on this solution?
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