Guest Posted June 12, 2006 Posted June 12, 2006 My girlfriend of 6 years just broke up with me last month and I'm having a really tough time dealing with the break up. Last I heard she had been hanging out with an old friend of mine, which really broke my heart because I thought they both would respect me enough to at least stay away from each other for awhile but nonetheless they are definetly spending a lot of time together. The worst part is, she never really hung out with him, she knew him before we were together (we all went to high school together) But it's not like they are old friends. And they defintely didn't hang out while we were together. But from what I heard she is acting like they are best friends. Which means if I confront her (which I won't) but if I did she would say that they were just friends. But I can't get these freakin visions out of my head of them messing around. And it's really getting to me. I'm having a hard time enough just not having her let alone thinking of her with someone else. As a matter of fact, it's getting so bad, that tonight I was watching a tv show and a guy with red hair was on and they "friend" of mine also has red hair, and I started thinking of them together, just because a guy on tv had the same color hair! The worst part is, I am definetly still in love with her, but at this point based on the things she did while we were together and what she is doing now, I'm not sure I would even want her back. So why do I care so much about this, how do I shake these stupid visions???
Pantero Posted June 12, 2006 Posted June 12, 2006 That's rough, man. If it's of any consolation, if your old "friend" and your former old lady hook-up, then it's time to give them both the finger and tell them both to go to Hell in such a way that they'll look forward to the trip. Not to mention, if anything happens, she is rebounding... As for the visions and thoughts...I can't really say much else except to keep busy. If you're exposing yourself to stimuli that is emotionally damaging you further (i.e. seeing some guy with red hair on TV), you need to switch it off, or leave. But of course, some of us get addicted to misery and you can't pull yourself away. It's kind of like slowing down and rubbernecking to see if there are any dead people at an accident scene. Write stuff down, but don't show it to anyone. Keep a log of how you feel and reread it weeks or months later and laugh at yourself and how you felt. Not to mention if you did indeed do something crazy, all those written files will allow the Detectives to put you away I kid I kid. Stick with your friends. Go out. Hell - get a reboundee yourself...f-ck it.
dgiirl Posted June 12, 2006 Posted June 12, 2006 You have to take control of your thoughts and when you catch yourself thinking about them, actively force yourself to refocus your thoughts to something else. It's hard to stop caring and stop wondering, but those thoughts are simply not productive to YOU and it's you who is inflicting more pain on yourself. Why? Just refocus your thoughts to something else, and when you cant do that, talk about it. Just dont get obsessed with these images.
binevrywear Posted June 12, 2006 Posted June 12, 2006 I don't know which is worse - knowing for sure they are together, or just wondering whether it's true or not. It's always a painful thing to imagine when you've just broken up with someone and you know they've moved on. You must do the same - move on! No contact, never, ever!
BrandonBP Posted June 12, 2006 Posted June 12, 2006 I feel your pain, brother. The only difference between you and me is that I know my ex is sleeping with her new "friend." I've had every image in my head that you can think of. It's a horrible horrible experience to go through. Take care, Brandon
Big_A Posted June 12, 2006 Posted June 12, 2006 I also know that me ex has a new man and I know the pain of the thoughts of them together. When ever it starts to hit me I repeat out loud, "Don't make your life about her. Make your life about you." The more I think about what I'm doing and not her the easier it is to get away.
St Thomas Posted June 12, 2006 Posted June 12, 2006 Bro, just DON'T think about that. My ex, wich was BTW the women of my life, dumped me, and she was sleeping with one of my co-worker one week later. I was passing in front of my appartment and his car was ALWAYS there. You can't imagine what came throught my mind. This guys has been close to loose a few teeth, i tell u, and in particular when i ended up face to face with him in a club, completely wasted because if this girl. My buddys stopped me, and i crushed a wall instead. But now, as hard as it is (and believe me, it is, every 10 min), i wish her luck and happyness. I'm still, and it's been more than 8 months, keeping in mind that we might end up together again, one day, even if i really really screwed everything up when she dumped me. St Thomas
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