Gala242 Posted June 12, 2006 Posted June 12, 2006 I'm 25 still a virgin, never been in a relationship, people tell me don't worry about it just live life and it will come when u least expect it. well they was saying that when i was still 18. Even though i am shy at heart i have approached many girls before, to no success. And I know i'm not a bad-looking guy because when i ask girls they tell me that i am attractive, (unless they were lying) so im really baffled as too why i am still alone.
Pantero Posted June 12, 2006 Posted June 12, 2006 It does come when you least expect it and usually when you're not looking for it. I'll have to agree with the "just live your life" advice. Are you in school? Working full-time? You need to make time for yourself and make as many friends as possible. And to do that - start hanging out/planning activities with the friends you already have. Invite some casual friends and tell them to bring their friends along on a night out. You build networks and sure enough, you'll find someone. Trust me. As with all else in life, it takes initiative. Now don't get me wrong...it's healthy and normal to sulk a little and God knows I do it too - BUT eventually you'll get tired of sulking and you WILL find the energy to get yourself together. Guys who've got it together are very attractive to women. Don't fake anything, either. If you do - you'll be setting yourself up for a fall. But then again, perhaps you may want to learn the hard way.
j.carsey Posted June 12, 2006 Posted June 12, 2006 The above advice is all gold. All of it. Yes, you probably look fine do not worry about that. But this thing they say about, it will come with time, that's not the whole story. It will come a lot faster if you, and I'm not sure of the exact word for it, are more commanding or show initiative when it comes to girls. You have GOT to take chances, sometimes big ones. My #1, greatest awakening (and this has only unfolded over the last year for me) is that the possibilities are endless, but you have to take a stab at it even under really unlikely/impossible/non-ideal circumstances And trust me, when it rains, it pours. When you figure out how you should be doing this, and you put in the effort to find girls including setting up the good social conditions for it like the other poster says, you will have no problems.
Sand&Water Posted June 12, 2006 Posted June 12, 2006 The two above posters, layed out very solid and sound advice for you Gala242. Listen to them. I want to add something important to the basket. At the rate you're rolling at, you'll be 31 before you know it and friends of yours will still tell you not to worry and with patience comes great opportunities. Do you see yourself at 31, and in your present circumstances? You have to take action, now! As the days pass by, your chances decrease. Take hold of all venues, and opportunities. This means, approach girls at grocery stores, gas stations, golf courses, etc. Sometimes the most bizzare, far-fetched, and awkward moments bring forth the best times of your life - this includes the girl of your dreams. You're no longer a child. You're an adult - 25 if I'm correct.
j.carsey Posted June 12, 2006 Posted June 12, 2006 Take hold of all venues, and opportunities. This means, approach girls at grocery stores, gas stations, golf courses, etc. Sometimes the most bizzare, far-fetched, and awkward moments bring forth the best times of your life - this includes the girl of your dreams. Definitely! Several friends of mine (men and women) have described excellent situations that have come out of these kinds of meetings. Myself, I have not figured out is how to properly approach strangers like in the places mentioned above. If anybody has any further tips on how to meet could you please post them, it will help out so many of us I'm sure. For example when I do approach women in such places they seem very cautious and very hesitant to, for example give a phone number. I know I am coming off creepy or very weird, that's why I'm looking for tips on how to approach and follow up with someone randomly like that
Author Gala242 Posted June 17, 2006 Author Posted June 17, 2006 Thanks everyone for the advice, i use to have alot of friends when i was in high school and college but now i only have a few close friends they are guys. I don't approach every single girl i see but i do approach girls from time to time depending on how im feeling or where i am. most of those i either get rejected or i get the number but nothing comes out of it most say they just want to be friends. I will try to make new friends, and be more aggressive, and i'll see how it works out. Thanks again
Yamaha Posted June 17, 2006 Posted June 17, 2006 Younger girls are looking for excitement and fun from guys. If you are shy and hesitant then they will look at you like a friend but not as someone in which they want to date ( meaning having a sexual relationship ). You must get some game and be able to talk with women and be a challenge to them. Talk to them but don't be so needy that they see you are there ready for them to give the word. The key is to flirt with many women and when they see you talking with women they will wonder what you have that attracts them. You've seen the guy who is talking to all the women and all the women want his attention. Learn to be that guy. It will require confidence and no fear of rejection so get a thick skin and learn to flirt like crazy ( and it is so much fun ).
paige367 Posted June 17, 2006 Posted June 17, 2006 All good solid advice. I would add two things. Sometimes it's easier to start out slow. Make yourself a little goal and stick to it making them more difficult as the days go on. Something as small as..."I'm going to smile and make eye contact with 5 women today"...see what happens. I wonder if you've considered approaching older women. Just a little older, maybe in the early thirties. They would be kinder, less likely to party and maybe easier to meet. I know a lot of women this age who would love to deflower someone.
sodakki_lov Posted June 17, 2006 Posted June 17, 2006 what do u mean "i have approached many girls before, to no success" ? How were u rejected?
Guest Posted June 23, 2006 Posted June 23, 2006 I'm 47 (a guy) and still a virgin. Believe me, it's not because I want to be! I guess I've always been a bit of a social misfit... I'm tall, slim, and (I think) decent looking, but I'm too intellectual for my own good, and I guess I've always lived inside myself. Went to some rough schools and got off to an unfortunate start with people, and never really recovered from that. I've spent the last 30 years obsessed with sex, and wondering how it seems to come so easily to everyone else but me. But I've reached a point in life where I've all but given up now. My libido has dried up, and I'm frustrated and just plain tired. Besides, at my age I doubt I could attract any women I'd find appealing anyway. Anyway, I hoped my sad story would make you feel better about your own situation. You're 22 years younger than I am, so if you make any attempt at all you're bound to be more successful than I was. Good luck man!
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