amplified Posted June 11, 2006 Posted June 11, 2006 Heres my story. I have know this girl named *Alba* for around 5 years now (since i was 22 she 21). From the first time we met we had a connection. When we first met we dated for a summer but due to distance and school (I live in L.A. she lives in the Bay area) amongst other factors things didnt work out. After we broke up she immediately started seeing the guy she was with before me. This hurt me and i let her know but she said it was convenient. Suffice to say the guy eventually left and moved to another state and she started calling me again. We started seeing each other again but i wouldnt let myself get close to her again because i didnt want to be anyones second fiddle, so we drifted. A year had passed and we had limited contact but i still cared for her very much. Every now and then I would call her and she would be in a new relationship and bad situations. This went on for a few years, one of us would contact each other out of the blue just to check on one another. She finally settled into an on off relationship where the guy cheated on her and she had his baby. A month before she got pregnant we opened the lines of communication and were starting to get close again and i started falling for her again and let her know. She let me know that circumstances were wrong and she dropped the news on me and let me know she was pregnant with his child. She basically pushed me away cold heartedly to try and work things out with her on and off again a**h*** boyfriend. We drifted apart once again and she/I would call every now and then for the last two years whenever something was wrong. It is now 2 years later and the baby father is out of the picture as of Oct 2005. Our conversations till this day are short and pretty basic. We have put up walls and it is apparent when we are on the phone with one another. Every now and then when we talk she has invited to come visit her and her baby. I have declined a ccouple times, i actually agreed once to come down and see her but changed my mind at the last minute. Heres my dilemma, I still care for her very much so...but i do not know how to break down our walls. She seems like she cant trust anyone due to the drama she has been through the last couple years and i cant trust anyone due to my past. Do you think i should just move on and forget about her compleltey or should i try and see if something is still there between us. Before the circumstances were always wrong...I am lost and feel like if i do not make a move soon she will find someone else.
alphamale Posted June 11, 2006 Posted June 11, 2006 She seems like she cant trust anyone due to the drama she has been through the last couple years not matter what she tells you AMP....she enjoys the "drama" Do you think i should just move on and forget about her compleltey definitely...this woman is trouble, big time. and do you really want to raise another dude's kid? ...I am lost and feel like if i do not make a move soon she will find someone else. trust your instincts here AMP and stay far away from this broad.
Outcast Posted June 11, 2006 Posted June 11, 2006 Well, bailing on visiting her doesn't seem to indicate that you care about her. If you didn't leap at the chance to go see her, then that's a sign you have already moved on.
Author amplified Posted June 11, 2006 Author Posted June 11, 2006 thanks alpha for your advice...does anyone else have advice...i would appreciate more opinions
Author amplified Posted June 11, 2006 Author Posted June 11, 2006 Well, bailing on visiting her doesn't seem to indicate that you care about her. If you didn't leap at the chance to go see her, then that's a sign you have already moved on. Yes there have been times where we havent even talked for like 3-6 months which are signs that i have moved on. But it seems like she has been in my head everyday. Its not like i obsessively think about her...its like what if the circumstances were different, what if we went left instead of right. But at the same time i am reluctant to opens those doors again because im scared of getting walked over but at the same time i think life is about chances and change. I dont know i am confused. Any females with a perspective on this situation
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