B-Love Posted June 11, 2006 Posted June 11, 2006 Hi I'm a 22 year old male and I have been dating my girlfriend for 7 months. She's everything I dream of and more. She's the perfect girl in my eyes and I'm so happy to be with her... at times, I feel like the luckiest person. But my problem is that sometimes I just push her away. I will often start a fight and won't let it end until I almost completely push her away. For some reason, I'll just pick a fight over absoluetly nothing. I push her away... blame her for something thats not her fault.... For some reason, she won't leave me... and after a couple of hours I stop and realize that I can't keep pushing her away. She knows I'm trying to.. I know I'm trying to.. but I guess its cause I'm scared. Of what? i dont know. Now I've done this to many people before.... Every girl thats ever got closed to me, in fact. I am insecure.. but I dont think its the full reason I'm doing this. I was just wondering if anybody else has had the same problem here? I love this girl and I just dont want to go on endlessly pushing her away cause even though she tells me everytime that she wont let me do that (thank god for that cause most girls dont put up with it), I know that it will gradually ruin the relationship.
ronnieromance Posted June 12, 2006 Posted June 12, 2006 Is she puting this in your head? Not to say you're not doing it, but it sounds like if your this conscious of it yourself, you'd be able to dig a little deeper into your psyche. -R-
Author B-Love Posted June 12, 2006 Author Posted June 12, 2006 No she doesn't put it in my head. I've known for the last 10 years that I always push people away thats close. And about the psyche thing, I'm actually a psychology major.. I can analyze people without even trying... I can pick up pretty much anything about anyone... but I can't figure out why I act certain ways sometimes. Its like I can tell you anything about anyone generally, except myself.
norajane Posted June 12, 2006 Posted June 12, 2006 Fear of intimacy? Lots of causes for that, but you should be able to figure out what you're afraid of. Do you have trouble trusting people? Are you afraid she won't like you when she really gets to know you? Is there something about yourself or your past that you're uncomfortable about? Are you afraid she'll walk out and you'd rather cause the break-up than feel rejected? You're 22 and have known you've had this fear since you were 12? Do you have friends in your psyche classes? Maybe ask them for their insights..they might find it easier to analyze you than you can yourself as they'd be more objective.
Sand&Water Posted June 12, 2006 Posted June 12, 2006 I can pick up pretty much anything about anyone... but I can't figure out why I act certain ways sometimes. Its like I can tell you anything about anyone generally, except myself. That's how I am. Can't figure out why I do the things I do. It's mind boggling, sometimes. Anyways, I think you're scared to let people in - in your heart. You have a fear of getting hurt, and perhaps that's why you push people away. This is, entirely, within you to change for the better. Don't you want to be more confident, and secure? In due time, you'll slowly avert from this downward cycle.
ronnieromance Posted June 12, 2006 Posted June 12, 2006 No she doesn't put it in my head. I've known for the last 10 years that I always push people away thats close. And about the psyche thing, I'm actually a psychology major.. I can analyze people without even trying... I can pick up pretty much anything about anyone... but I can't figure out why I act certain ways sometimes. Its like I can tell you anything about anyone generally, except myself. Ya, well, I've never know a pshycology major without an emotional issue. As for analyzing others, it's always easy to pick out the objectives on other people. No one wants to see what's wrong in themselves. It takes a very strong person to do so with any amount of honesty. -R-
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