PandorasBox Posted June 10, 2006 Posted June 10, 2006 I wasn't sure where to put this, but anyway. I have a friend of mine who is married and has a daughter who is 9 years old. Now that school is out here, there are right many parents who are sending their kids to summer camp. Some are sending them to like a camp all summmer, then there are programs that last like a few weeeks, for kids to go to. Gives them some fun things to do etc. I do know some of those camps can be expensive. So sending the child to camp isn't really the issue but here is my question. My friend doesn't work, she is a stay at home mom. I have asked her what she has planned over the summer for her daughter. She says not much but I have a feeling she will get on my nerves. This is a woman who doesn't take her daughter to do much during the summer. her daughter doesn't have many friends in the neighborhood becasue there aren't any, maybe 2 or 3 kids but they will be busy doing things with their parents. She always dreads summer becasue she doesn't like hearing her daughter whine and cry about having nothing to do. Which seems to me, she would do more things with her. I think she whines becasue she is bored. I have suggested taking her to the movies, library, bowling, swimming pool, to the park. Theres a really neat art place here where kids can go and make art things like paitings or drawings, basket weaving etc. But my friend wont take her daughter these places. She bitches and complains her daughter gets on her nerves but she wont do anything with her, like keeping her busy or taking her somewhere. No one said it had to be everyday but at least do something. She would rather lay in the sun, talk on the phone, mess in her garden, play on the computer, while her daughter whines and complains she is bored. I have asked her why she doesn't do these things with her daughter and that maybe she was bored and wouldn't whine so much if she had something to do. She tells me gas is to high. Well 2 of these things I suggested is right down the road. The other excuse is, its to hot and I'm not going to be running myself to death. Uh, she wouldn't be running herself to death. Its not like it would be everyday. Her daughters friends from school are all involved in something. Dance, cheerleading, baseball, soccer, etc, excpet her. She wont put her in anything she might enjoy, she always has an excuse. Her husband doesn't have a problem with it, he works and has told her he thinks getting their daughter into something would be good for her. But the mother comes up with every excuse not to have her doing something or involved in something, but complains when her daughter is getting on her nerves. Do others see this as being selfish? If it were amoney thing, or a long distance thing where traveling to these things would be a problem I might could see it, but its not. I hate to say it but she just comes across as lazy to me, and doesn't want to take her daughter places and give her something to do. I mean goodness forbid it takes a little time out her day from laying in the sun, or messing in her garden. I thought when you had kids you make sacrifices sometimes.
amaysngrace Posted June 10, 2006 Posted June 10, 2006 She sounds lazy to me. It would be really great for her daughter to be involved, it's good for her esteem to have interests. Does she let her plant flowers with her or set up a pool or ANYTHING?? Being involved is a good way for her mom to know which kids are which and also for social reasons for herself. It's good to know who's in your community. And become part of that community. Does she have disabilities or a drug problem???
Author PandorasBox Posted June 10, 2006 Author Posted June 10, 2006 She sounds lazy to me. It would be really great for her daughter to be involved, it's good for her esteem to have interests. Does she let her plant flowers with her or set up a pool or ANYTHING?? Being involved is a good way for her mom to know which kids are which and also for social reasons for herself. It's good to know who's in your community. And become part of that community. Does she have disabilities or a drug problem??? No she doesn't have a disability or a drug problem. She does let her help with planting the garden sometimes. Sometimes she will set the sprinkler up or get in the little kiddie pool they have. But other than that they never really go anywhere. She never takes her places or gets her involved in other activities and it just seems there is always an excuse. Her husband who works alot and is not alwys home in time to take his daughter to things like that would probably be willing to do those things, but with his work schedule its hard to do. Since the mother is home looks like she could or would be wiling to do those things. Personally I think shes being pretty lazy. She complains about her daughter whining but wont do anything about it. It obvious the child acts bored. She has even told her mother she was, and she tells her, so go find something else to do and get out of my hair. If shes so in her hair, put her in something constructive then.
Art_Critic Posted June 10, 2006 Posted June 10, 2006 I do know some of those camps can be expensive. Not can be.. they are.. when I was married one of the summers we sent our child to day camp .. $600.00 per month .. for day camp for 1 child it was more for 2 or more children. She might be lazy.. or can't afford it.. or might just not want to send her kids away for the summer.. It certainly doesn't make her a bad mother.
amaysngrace Posted June 10, 2006 Posted June 10, 2006 Is there any way she would let you take the child for outings? Maybe to the local park or playground or something? If I were truly that concerned for the child's well-being, that is what I would do. Plus, maybe buy her a coloring book and some crayons and just color with her. Anything really, if you are that worried.
Author PandorasBox Posted June 10, 2006 Author Posted June 10, 2006 Not can be.. they are.. when I was married one of the summers we sent our child to day camp .. $600.00 per month .. for day camp for 1 child it was more for 2 or more children. She might be lazy.. or can't afford it.. or might just not want to send her kids away for the summer.. It certainly doesn't make her a bad mother. Nope never said she was a bad mother. Yes camps are expensive, and said in my OP that the summer camp wasn't even the issue. I was just saying some people were sending their kids to camp and because its expensive they weren't going to do that. There are things that people can do to take their kids to that don't cost that much, and/or free. They have 2 free passes to the movies and to an art center they got through school. Because she a friend of mine I may offer to take the child to the pool one day or to the movies to at least let her get out some. Its not really my place but I feel bad for her. The father said and has told the mother he thought it would be good and that money was not an issue as far as taking her these other places to give her something to do.
JackJack Posted June 10, 2006 Posted June 10, 2006 "She would rather lay out in the sun, talk on the phone, mess in her garden, play on the computer." "I'm not going to be running myself to death." "I thought when you had kids you made sacrifices sometimes." "Her husband said that money was not an issue to take her some of these place." Yes sounds as if she is lazy and its pretty much what ever she wants to do reguardless of wheather her child is bored or not. Its good that you are wanting to at least take the child and go do something with her.
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