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He just doesn't get it...


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Posted

I can't tell you how many times I have told my boyfriend that I am a simple kind of girl who doesn't ask of much when it comes to relationships. The most I ask for is attention, security, honesty and the usual that most ask for from their mate. It just seem like he will never get it, and I find myself always feeling bad, crying, having sleepless nights, it's like I am happy for a moment and then it goes right back into unhappy mode. Why do I allow this happen? I'm basically going on hoping perhaps one day he will wake up and realize that I am special and I deserve to be treated that way. When it comes to me I do whatever I can to make my boyfriend feel happy and secure, unfortunately I don't get the same treatment and ofcourse I expect that, I mean why not? Sometimes it feels good to know that your boyfriend wants you, misses you and all of that stuff but it just seems like everything works around his time. I basically wait until he has time to miss and want to see me in order to see him, or if I am with him I have to wait until he finish playing cards with his friends or playing video games to pay me attention. And I continue to stress myself out and time and time again I tell him how I feel with hopes he will understand and take my feelings into consideration. And unfortunately now that I have developed deep feelings for him it's hard to just get up leave him and never turn back. I just don't want to leave him and have any form of regret. Can someone tell me what I should do? I am in need of help.

 

Thanks

Posted

It kinda sounds to me that he isn't the one for you..

 

The one for you won't leave you feeling the way you describe in your post

  • Author
Posted

So you don't think that I am overreacting?

Posted
So you don't think that I am overreacting?

 

No.. I think right now you are starting to figure out that there is more to a relationship than he is giving you..

 

Listen to your gut.. it is correct

Posted

I completely agree. You haven't done anything wrong and your not overreacting. Its time to dump him and find somone who knows you are special.

Posted

He sounds really immature to me. And he's probably never going to be where you are in maturity levels, so either accept that and accept him or move on to someone you're more compatible with.

 

Grace

Posted
I find myself always feeling bad, crying, having sleepless nights, it's like I am happy for a moment and then it goes right back into unhappy mode. Why do I allow this happen?

 

why indeed

 

it's a mistake to rely on someone else to make you happy...sounds like you've got some personal issues that need resolving.

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Posted

U know what you are right, perhaps I do have personal issues and maybe that could be the reason why I continue to put up with it for this long. And I have allowed it to get to me so much that I cry more than I can actually sleep. I know tell me about it, it's really sad.

  • Author
Posted

The weird thing is as soon as I go into shut down mode, not calling him or answering his calls he will keep calling until I finally respond. I guess once he figures that I am ok and not upset that's when he becomes unresponsive to me, than when I wasn't available to him.

Posted

yes it's weird, but not to the degree that you should find yourself crying more than sleeping...

Posted
yes it's weird, but not to the degree that you should find yourself crying more than sleeping...

 

When person is depressed over their relationship sometimes this can happen..

Posted
When person is depressed over their relationship sometimes this can happen..

 

I would like to slightly re-phrase that to : when a person suffers from depression it can happen...

Posted
I would like to slightly re-phrase that to : when a person suffers from depression it can happen...

 

You Canadians..:laugh:

Posted

Oh man. You can do a lot better. All I have to say. The feelings you describe... yeah. This guy isn't the one for you.

Posted

If you aren't willing to break it off with your bf, maybe you could try setting some guidelines for when you see each other?

 

Find your own activities and hobbies, and friends to hang out with more often. If the two of you don't have specific plans on hanging out together, one-on-one, then either suggest something along those lines, or don't accept his offer to get together.

 

He sounds as if he wants the relationship, but doesn't want the work involved. And if you aren't to the point where you feel you can end this, then you need to take some safe guards against being hurt repetitively. Don't go over when you know his friends will be there, or when you know he's playing video games. Find something better to do with your time. And be upfront and honest about it. Not angry, just state the facts. "You're playing your video game. It's a one person activity. I'm going to go do something I enjoy."

 

He'll either get it, or he won't, but simply talking doesn't seem to work. Plus it might alleviate some of the frustration and feeling like you lack a say in the situation.

 

It's just a suggestion. I agree with the rest of the posters that this guy might not be at a level where he can provide for your needs. It might be healthier for you to get out of this relationship.

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