RITAKI Posted June 9, 2006 Posted June 9, 2006 I am 23 and had a relationship with a guy 11 months younger for 4,5 years (with 3 breaks,because of silly reasons,of immaturity and age)Our last time,was for 2 years,really nice..We broke up because as he said,i pushed him for future things(in the last months i'd say things like living together in 2-3 years etc..) and that i didn't live for the present which caused him pressure and that he made me sad because he couldn't give me what i wanted and that beacuse of our character differences and our fights(sometimes)he didnt see a good future..what can i do?its been 40 days.He is the one who left me.The thing is that i saw our future as smth normal,that would come so easy and naturally.I wasnt pressuring him like an hysteric!Sometimes,he was the one who talked about future,but not as often as i did.What can i say?I do the NC since our break up.I must addd that we met once at a conference of our MBA's and 4days after in order for him to return to me a book of mine,but we didn;t talk about our situation.And smth else,he sent me an email(for the 1st time,we always talked through cell phone/sms) with some info about a project of mine *i had told him not to spent time on that,but he did*and he also wrote to this email that he has found in his room a book of mine and he will return it to me after the june exams(we are not at the same MBA programms in my city).And now i am wondering:why does he wait till mid july to give me the book and not sooner?our Mba's are connected with the train and are 5min.apart!he could also give my book to my best friend who lives really close to him,and he knows her well too.Some info about our future:We are both finishing our MBA's,i am going to search for a job and he is going to continue studies for a PHD.Is there a way to get him back again?We have both supported eachother very much and as he said,i was very patient.U see,he is very much into university things,and we could meet only twice a week,the rest days we would talk on the phone.His family liked me and he would call me so many sweet names..I might have pressed him a bit about future,but i wasnt a b**ch!How could he break up with me?Because of our figths the last days..?can you imagine that 4days before the break up we searched for our summer vacation??My question is what will happen when we meet for the return of my book in July..I really want him back,i love him very much.(sorry for my English,i am from Europe)
Author RITAKI Posted June 10, 2006 Author Posted June 10, 2006 anyone plz?i would really appreciate it..
Blackfrost Posted June 10, 2006 Posted June 10, 2006 he couldn't give me what i wanted and that beacuse of our character differences and our fights(sometimes)he didnt see a good future.. This should be indication number 1 that he is not really interested in pursuing something that in his mind is not going to work out in the end. Is there a way to get him back again?We have both supported eachother very much and as he said,i was very patient.U see,he is very much into university things,and we could meet only twice a week,the rest days we would talk on the phone.His family liked me and he would call me so many sweet names..I might have pressed him a bit about future,but i wasnt a b**ch!How could he break up with me?Because of our figths the last days..?can you imagine that 4days before the break up we searched for our summer vacation??My question is what will happen when we meet for the return of my book in July..I really want him back,i love him very much. At this point I would say that's entirely his decision. I know for myself that if I had broken up with someone and not seen them for 40 days, I would not be going back to that person again - it would be done. Maybe i'm wrong, but from an american guys point of view (mine) I'd say he is done with the relationship, and has moved on with focusing on what's important to him now. It doesn't matter that you broke up 4 days before your summer vacation - if you're not who he wants to spend it with - why would he stay just for that. From what you've written, I'd say that your best bet is to move on with your life, and stop carrying a torch for this guy. He's done.
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