Larrry Posted June 9, 2006 Posted June 9, 2006 My wife of 20+ years divorced me almost two years ago, she was having an affair with a married co-worker. We got along fine during our marriage and then one day told me she didn't love me anymore and wanted a divorce. I was devastated and begged her to go to marriage counseling and then found out about the affair (found clues) three months later. She immediately filed when I confronted her. She played me like a chump. Told me the affair was over after I moved out, told me she just wanted a seperation, I agreed to less advantageous terms. Turns out she never stopped seeing him and after the divorce was final, he dropped her..guess he didnt like the pressure of her pushing him to divorce. Three months later they are back together. Then after about 6 months, a guy 14 years younger sweeps her off her feet and then 8 months later drops her. Now after several months of not "dating", she jerks me around after we dated some and things seemed like they were going OK, she and the MM are starting up again. She is not aware that I know what's going on with her and I can't confront her or say anything about it without turning out my source. I can handle her dating, or being with, another single guy. But it just kills me that the MM who was instrumental in destroying my family and contributed to the divorce still is playing on my ex's heart, while his wife is totally unaware of what a low life scum he is. It also hurts knowing my ex is so self-absorbed and morally bankrupt as to continue seeing a married man. I have been holding back on my desire to tell the MM's wife about the affair. I am afraid that if I do, they may get divorced, and that son of a bitch may end up in the house I left behind and live with my children. But I so badly want to tell the MM's wife. Should I?
silktricks Posted June 9, 2006 Posted June 9, 2006 She has a right to know, but your reasons for telling her are not good ones. I think the bad karma for you is not good. Probably it would be better not to tell her. (It would also be better for you to avoid your ex-wife. Go find someone who will treat you right.)
Buttaflyy Posted June 9, 2006 Posted June 9, 2006 (It would also be better for you to avoid your ex-wife. Go find someone who will treat you right.) Not sure if you should tell the wife. That would really suck if dude winds up in your home. BUT U SHOULD DEFINITELY FOLLOW SILK'S ADVICE HERE! Your ex-wife is just as guilty. You've gotta break that hold she has on you. Put some energy into that.
Chump64 Posted June 9, 2006 Posted June 9, 2006 I don't necessarily like your reasons for wanting to tell her, but she should know.
corwin Posted June 9, 2006 Posted June 9, 2006 The reasons behind telling her the truth be damned.... She has a right to know what kind of man she's married to. I'll bet you wished someone had told you about the affair when you were in the dark.
silktricks Posted June 9, 2006 Posted June 9, 2006 I bow to the others posters. (Actually, I think they're right) I would have wanted to know. She does have a right to know. But..... I really don't like your reasons for telling. For your own sake you need to get yourself centered and more at peace with yourself. Try some meditation or get a little more involved in whatever faith you have an affiliation with.
a4a Posted June 9, 2006 Posted June 9, 2006 Larrry she does have the right to know. But do it for the reason to help her not to seek revenge on him.
Sup Posted June 9, 2006 Posted June 9, 2006 My wife of 20+ years divorced me almost two years ago, she was having an affair with a married co-worker. We got along fine during our marriage and then one day told me she didn't love me anymore and wanted a divorce. I was devastated and begged her to go to marriage counseling and then found out about the affair (found clues) three months later. She immediately filed when I confronted her. She played me like a chump. Told me the affair was over after I moved out, told me she just wanted a seperation, I agreed to less advantageous terms. Turns out she never stopped seeing him and after the divorce was final, he dropped her..guess he didnt like the pressure of her pushing him to divorce. Three months later they are back together. Then after about 6 months, a guy 14 years younger sweeps her off her feet and then 8 months later drops her. Now after several months of not "dating", she jerks me around after we dated some and things seemed like they were going OK, she and the MM are starting up again. She is not aware that I know what's going on with her and I can't confront her or say anything about it without turning out my source. I can handle her dating, or being with, another single guy. But it just kills me that the MM who was instrumental in destroying my family and contributed to the divorce still is playing on my ex's heart, while his wife is totally unaware of what a low life scum he is. It also hurts knowing my ex is so self-absorbed and morally bankrupt as to continue seeing a married man. I have been holding back on my desire to tell the MM's wife about the affair. I am afraid that if I do, they may get divorced, and that son of a bitch may end up in the house I left behind and live with my children. But I so badly want to tell the MM's wife. Should I? Tell his wife. He's probably around your children anyway, I hate to say it. At least then HE will lose something if his wife knows! She'll take HIM to the cleaners, MAN! Oh, not out of revenge Man.
Guest Posted June 10, 2006 Posted June 10, 2006 But I so badly want to tell the MM's wife. Should I? YES. Nobody deserves to be played the fool when there are other human beings out there that know it's going on. You owe it to him.
Trimmer Posted June 11, 2006 Posted June 11, 2006 Larry - I'm in basic agreement with the consensus above. How many and how old are your kids, and what is your custody arrangement? I have no experience, and no idea if this can factor into the equation, but if she is involved with a MM and he has contact with your kids, is this something you can, or want to, persue with respect to the custody arrangement? And I agree with the "karma" issues mentioned above: I bring this up not as leverage to "get" her, but by way of trying to ensure a stable and appropriate home environment for them to grow up in...
AMBERINVEGAS2112 Posted June 19, 2006 Posted June 19, 2006 Why Do You Even Carry On With You X? She Obviously Can't Make Up Her Mind And I Think That When She's Away From You And Finds Another And They Dump Her, You're Her Security Because She Knows You Will Always Be There!!! Hint Hint. As For Telling The Other Person ? Get All The Info (cause They Need Hard Facts) Send A Certified Letter To Be Opened By Him Only. And Yes Dear..please Dump The X.....you Are So Much Better And Will Get Better......
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