been7077 Posted June 9, 2006 Posted June 9, 2006 Has online meeting and dating created a society where sometimes the first date is never arrived at because the menu is so full? Click one button and there are potentially thousands of choices? Like any commodity in a supply and demand situation, does the potential availability of thousands cheapen the experience? Does it create a "greener grass" situation even before one can get to know anybody? I am asking based on the observation that women, especially, get so many replies in an online situation that they can be like kids in a candy store, and sometimes not even keep the real dates they've made because later in the week a new photo catches their fancy. Are dates now disposable, even before a meeting?
Author been7077 Posted June 9, 2006 Author Posted June 9, 2006 Thought so. So not only do you not score a run, but many times online you never even get into the ballpark.
Art_Critic Posted June 9, 2006 Posted June 9, 2006 Thought so. So not only do you not score a run, but many times online you never even get into the ballpark. So true.. that is why you have to separate yourself from the other cattle.. I use humor and it seems if I do I always get a response.. The problem lies in how they word their profiles.. most of them are worded so stuffy that humor is out.. and when you lay out the lines they are the same ones everyone else uses and you just get ignored
jerbear Posted June 9, 2006 Posted June 9, 2006 I have a friend who is has an online profile. His experience was: he got put on hold because she wanted to maximize her 3 month membership. He dropped the pursuit for that reason.
Author been7077 Posted June 9, 2006 Author Posted June 9, 2006 I have an interesting contrast. Way back in the day, when there was only newspaper personals "lonely hearts" ads, i put an ad in. Cost was per word, so it was to the point. No room for much personality. In order to reply you had to sit down and write a snail mail letter and include a return address or phone and maybe a pix. The process was actually much quicker and to the point, and resulted in quite a few dates and also a realtionship that lasted longer than most marriages. Now with online and easy searches I believe it is too easy and too hard. Easy because it is a buffet of potentials; harder because there are too many choices... maybe. Any marketer will tell you that too many choices and a choice will not be made. So while humor is a way to attract attention (Art_Critic), and a thoughtful response to a profile is not the norm, I think that any effort that does not match 110% is eliminated. If not, by the time a "date" is set up a whole new batch of "pitches" comes in and dilutes any effort and confuses the scene. So having done it the old fashioned way and the new way, I am just thinking that the odds are low that any real connection can be made online, our attention spans being what they are.
Tim'sAngel Posted June 9, 2006 Posted June 9, 2006 Let me share some of my experiences with online dating. In the past I have been a part of at least 5 or more dating sites. Yes its true being a women I got many many responces, most of which I totally ignored. You know those automatic replies? Like the ones where you push a button and it sends an email sayin "Hi. I would like to get to know you better", I would completely ignore them. I am very sensitive to chemistry and compatibility, and I knew within the first 5 minutes of talking to someone whether or not I would be interested in talking to them again. That helped to narrow down the ones I talked to. So while I was getting dozens or responces a day, I was only talking to about 2 or 3 men at a time, if that many. For me, and this is JMO, I was not easily impressed with profiles. They had to say alot of meaningful things about themselves, express humor as A_C mentioned, they had be mature and have goals and insightful words. I mean how easy is it to just jot down a few words a bout your hair and eye color and what you are looking for? I appriciated a profile that showed the man acutally sat down and thought about what he wanted others to know about him and what he had to offer. Also, I think one reason that online dating could be so much harder than "the ole fashioned way" is because people are initially attracted to apearance and chemistry and it is alot easier to hide the real you in person, where as online, all you have is words, which are very very powerful. You have to work alot harder at catching someones interest. And to me, if you have enough patience and confidence to do that, then I am attracted to that. But don't listen to me ramble on, I am alot more complicated than most women my age. I hope I was helpful
Author been7077 Posted June 9, 2006 Author Posted June 9, 2006 Tim's Angel, some interesting comments, but I think that all that said and done has been my SOP. I concluded that the online world is mostly --not entirely-- composed of men trying to easily score and women who have the ability to make choices perhaps too quickly. Believe me, I am good with words, but I am thinking that many of the things you mention as important: mature, goals and insightful words are just not that important. It's not that it won't work for some, but eveybody has to decide about a ROI. If it turns out that a company is competing in a crowded field with a good product, they could damned the torpedoes and go full speed ahead, but at what cost? Yes, you finally get recognized but you've broken the bank in the meanwhile. So, is it a better bet with real iife, where words are important but so is the entire person, or do you tap, tap away in a world where you are just another numbered profile? I posed the question originally because I really believe that if one thinks they have an unlimited pool of potentials it is really hard to take a decision. Most guys aren't in the position of having unlimited potentials online --not as many women get, a "dozen" responses per day. This creates an un-natural condition. Does anybody else think that this is the case, or are there true believers out there that think that if they create a sterling profile, answer or email insightful things, and have a sense of humor that it will pay off --- before the next century, that is?
Tim'sAngel Posted June 9, 2006 Posted June 9, 2006 Tim's Angel, some interesting comments, but I think that all that said and done has been my SOP. I concluded that the online world is mostly --not entirely-- composed of men trying to easily score and women who have the ability to make choices perhaps too quickly. Believe me, I am good with words, but I am thinking that many of the things you mention as important: mature, goals and insightful words are just not that important. It's not that it won't work for some, but eveybody has to decide about a ROI. If it turns out that a company is competing in a crowded field with a good product, they could damned the torpedoes and go full speed ahead, but at what cost? Yes, you finally get recognized but you've broken the bank in the meanwhile. So, is it a better bet with real iife, where words are important but so is the entire person, or do you tap, tap away in a world where you are just another numbered profile? I posed the question originally because I really believe that if one thinks they have an unlimited pool of potentials it is really hard to take a decision. Most guys aren't in the position of having unlimited potentials online --not as many women get, a "dozen" responses per day. This creates an un-natural condition. Does anybody else think that this is the case, or are there true believers out there that think that if they create a sterling profile, answer or email insightful things, and have a sense of humor that it will pay off --- before the next century, that is? Been, online dating is just simply another way of meeting other singles (even some who aren't) If it doesn't work for you, then it doesn't work. When you think of it, online dating really isn't all that different than old fashioned dating. While women get "dozens of responces" online, we also get dozens of stares, comments, flirts, and winks walking down the street. I really don't see a difference. Does that mean we date and talk to every single male that shows a bit of interest in us? Heck no!! That would mean some would have about 15 dates a day!! Men and women both have unlimited potentials in every day life as they do online, IMO. I have had great success with online dating. My SO and I met online orginally and we clicked very well online and even better in person!! So it can work! And about men not having as many potentials as women, that isn't quite a fair statement as I have talked to a few men about the issue of online dating that were having just many responces as a man that I was having as a women. JMO, it is all about the person and what they portray.
Author been7077 Posted June 9, 2006 Author Posted June 9, 2006 True, it can work for some and not for others, and it can work for some some of the time. I am just interested in an overall pulse. And the question over whether it skus the situation. I have talked with both men and woman (in reality) and have found mostly negative results. A few positives but mostly negatives. Most men, in fact all men I have talked with, no matter how good the profile, do not get the hits ---but that only reflects the real world. Just tossing it out there. I have found that reality works better for me, after hanging out on the online sites for awhile. Maybe online will work later.
Tim'sAngel Posted June 9, 2006 Posted June 9, 2006 Just tossing it out there. I have found that reality works better for me, after hanging out on the online sites for awhile. Maybe online will work later. Well considering the internet hasn't been around all that long, it seems it isn't at all necessary!
Author been7077 Posted June 9, 2006 Author Posted June 9, 2006 Not necessary, but certainly popular, and gaining I think.
Outcast Posted June 10, 2006 Posted June 10, 2006 Also, I think one reason that online dating could be so much harder than "the ole fashioned way" is because people are initially attracted to apearance and chemistry and it is alot easier to hide the real you in person, where as online, all you have is words, which are very very powerful. You have to work alot harder at catching someones interest. And to me, if you have enough patience and confidence to do that, then I am attracted to that. I completely agree. After all, it's not about meeting dozens of people, but about meeting the right person.
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